TWEET REDACTED: POSSIBLE REASONS EXPLAINING THIS
by Orson on May 18, 2009 12:47 PM EDT
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PrintThis is what [NAME REDACTED] tweeted at 3:45 a.m. on Saturday, May 16th:
This lapse in twitter protocol could be the result of several things. Since most of you are not accomplished [REDACTED]ologists like ourselves, we'll give you the rundown of what might be prompting America's Most Perpetually Improving Coach to tweet incomprehensible, undirected gibberish at 4 in the morning on a weekend.
--Addressing his own reflection in a snack machine in the mirror, then daring it to fight.
--Saw the FailWhale, and naturally assumed it was taunting him; then, gave it the talkin'-to it deserved.
--Left out "@Solitaire" from the message. Was frustrated at the computer's refusal to give him any threes, or to even recognize the words "Go Fish" no matter how loud he yelled them.
--Was attempting to address the spirit of Sylvester Croom, who visited him clad in rags and chains and warned him he would be visited later that night by the ghosts of the 387 first-half timeouts he has left unused in his coaching career. (What do you mean Croom's not dead? He's in St. Louis, and that's close enough for us.)
This would all be less funny if you did not read the ensuing tweet, posted today.
Corrine Brown, your terminology is infurctious. Gradulations to your daughter, corch. It truly is a spurcial day for you and yours.
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Really, for agreeable symmetry, he should’ve finished it “Go Illinis”.
by Holly on May 18, 2009 12:53 PM EDT reply actions
haha… time to change the person that does the tweeting for him.
by cweb on May 18, 2009 1:28 PM EDT reply actions
Go Illin? Gradulations to corch’s seed and also to corch himself for getting “Corrine Brown” drunk the night before. “Is that all U got?” was directed at his daughter and she looped a one-woman Indian run around the football practice facility at 4am at Corch’s demand. Corch [REDACTED]‘s daughter won’t gradulate overweight if corch has anything to do with it.
by cob on May 18, 2009 1:29 PM EDT reply actions
I’m now quite certain he doesn’t have a ghost-tweeter.
by Tommy on May 18, 2009 1:32 PM EDT reply actions
For rills, if anything this proves he does it himself.
by Holly on May 18, 2009 2:17 PM EDT reply actions
The tweet has been redacted. (No sign of it anymore on Redacted’s Twitter page.)
by Fightin' Englishman on May 18, 2009 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
And, yet, people scoff when I say Twitter will ultimately be the undoing of civilization as we know it.
/Get off my fucking lawn!
by GamecockTony on May 18, 2009 2:52 PM EDT reply actions
Twittering wont ultimately work for NAME REDACTED….you can’t take on a whole fraternity while twittering….just lacks the sense of toughness….
by Stan Gable on May 18, 2009 3:46 PM EDT reply actions
As we all know, it is correctable and he can get better and better…….
by JJ Gator on May 19, 2009 8:13 AM EDT reply actions
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