CURIOUS INDEX, 5/8/2009

The new Buckeye offense: innovative, illegal.

It would be easier to get huffy and righteous over EA's continued use of player likenesses in making large profits off time-sucking delights like NCAA 2010, especially when the players receive zero compensation for the use, if the complaints weren't coming from Sam Keller, who would use all $732 net profit from any future settlement to do something like get a new sprayed-in bed liner for his truck before inquiring about a seventh year of eligibility at a third school. See they never gave me a chance and I was supposed to find my soulmate and now I'm retroactively outraged, not just bleeding the last penny out of my frustrated college career, see?

He's right, though, obnoxious and sad as the case may seem in context. Now enjoy the fun of the counter-countersuit, where Terrence Cody sues for use of his image, which was the original basis for the antonymical portrayal of Alabama DT # 62, a 130 pound Asian woman with astonishing blocking power in the game.

Before it's taken down: savor the pleasure offered by this fine "Official Florida Photo Store" offering.

Gluteus Utilizus: a familiar species everywhere, really. Especially on the alumni sides of stadiums, something not particular to Boise State football. It remains a fine list, though, especially Uncle Rico, a figure near and dear to Idahoan hearts. Some subspecies do exist, though: we'd include the Intoxica Vulcana, the foul-mouthed drunkard in danger of vomiting up the open bar's worth of liquor he consumed prior to entry. Noticeable by the slight buffer zone given to him by fans seeking to avoid splatter.

That is a bit ticklish. Point agreed with Senator, though how you pull off points-shaving of any sort in a game as big and chaotic as football is a logistical nightmare, or at least it was when we pulled it off during the [NAME REDACTED] years. What? You can cry, or you can make bacon when someone kills your favorite pig, and we dare you to criticize us after you smell the finished product, baby.

Case closed, blame Mr. Bear. Penn State football players exonerated, smoking Bear in apartment to blame for marijuana smoke at apartment. He set off the fire alarm by himself? Was he burning two pounds in a oil drum in the breezeway?