CURIOUS INDEX, 5/7/2009

by Orson on May 7, 2009 11:15 AM EDT

Suspects are three males in a white stretch limo. Alabama kicker Leigh Tiffin was assaulted by three men from behind. Um, three men assaulted, and they happened to do their damage hitting him from the back. Wait: a few guys attacked Leigh Tiffin from the rear. This isn't working, dammit--read this, and then look at LSUFreek's exclusive footage of the incident, as captured on security camera.

Nick Saban, validated. Nick Saban, October 2007:

"The distribution of players is not the same for everybody," he told the News. "There's a significant amount of players who don't qualify (at some schools) and they end up being pretty good players at some other schools. I think there are six guys starting on South Florida's defense who probably could have gone to Florida or Florida State but Florida and Florida State couldn't take them. And if you do a good job of recruiting that way ..."

From TBO.com today:

TAMPA - The University of South Florida's football program has the nation's worst Academic Progress Report (APR) among BCS conference schools.

Ole Miss will also lose three scholarships from the L'Age d'Orgeron for its own academic foibles, something Houston Nutt plans to solve by pointing at three walk-ons and shouting SPELLBIND!!!! while staring with a spectral intensity in their direction.

They'll miss Gameday and...that's about it. BYU takes ESPN off its cable slate, explaining the move was a cost-related cut as ESPN doubled the cost of their in-dorm cable package, and not even a recent hefty contribution by Weber Gaming to the university could offset it.

"It could be worse." Tyson Gentry, the walk-on Buckeye paralyzed from the waist-down following a practice hit, makes you feel like a tiny cockroach of a person for complaining about your computer running slowly or a particularly weak cup of coffee:

Things are really put into perspective when you’re life is changed like this, and when I was in the hospital, seeing people with brain injuries or spinal cord injuries worse than mine really made me appreciate what I have. I mean yea, it sucks being in a wheelchair, and I wish I wasn’t in a wheelchair, but at the same time there’s still people that have it way worse than I do and I try to keep that in mind.

Read the whole thing here, and then attempt to resume complaining about other drivers while attempting to compose emails on your iPhone on a narrow two-lane residential road. (Three fingers pointing back.)

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Comments

Nick Saban – 1, World – 0

by haybeav on May 7, 2009 11:27 AM EDT reply actions

Humanitarians ranknings:
#1: Tyson Gentry
#2: Pete Carrol
wow. I’m a dick. Last night i complained that my beer tasted skunky and got huffy when they wouldn’t give me a freebie.

oh- and GREAT work Freek…

by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker on May 7, 2009 11:56 AM EDT reply actions

Saban was right about that 9/11 thing too.

I mean, the analogy remains wildly inappropriate and dumb to say out loud, but the team one 12 games last year…

by King Cockfight on May 7, 2009 12:21 PM EDT reply actions

Pardon, “won” not “one.”

That analogy is so dumb, but so accurate in its results that it has stifled my editing and literacy skills.

Again.

by King Cockfight on May 7, 2009 12:23 PM EDT reply actions

Corch Meyers twitter feed has some cool shit in it..

http://twitter.com/CoachUrbanMeyer

by ALGator on May 7, 2009 12:29 PM EDT reply actions

No doubt Ole Mi$$ will improve their ranking now that Jerral “Mr 3Rs” Powe is a full time student.

by yoyofutbawl on May 7, 2009 12:41 PM EDT reply actions

USF’s numbers are still affected by athletes leaving to go somewhere else when they jumped conferences. It doesn’t matter how they were doing academically, they get counted against the school. (Which is not real bright of the NCAA, but no one’s ever accused them of having good sense.) That all comes off the books next year.

The current year APR is 937… still kinda meh, but it puts them somewhere in the middle of the pack.

by JD on May 7, 2009 12:49 PM EDT reply actions

That Freek effort was perhaps his best yet. Why didn’t Charles Schultz think to have Lucy cap Charlie Brown? “It’s a gangland execution Charlie Brown” would have been huge, I’m sure of it.

by dc trojan on May 7, 2009 1:29 PM EDT reply actions

oh Weber Gaming…. give Bill some time, he’ll get that apostate church back in line….

by tempebamafan on May 7, 2009 1:39 PM EDT reply actions

It’s humorous that Leigh Tiffin was walking around in the area of Tuscaloosa where a man would go to be “taken from the rear” when he was attacked from behind.

Maybe he’s a bad tipper.

by Mooncricket on May 7, 2009 1:53 PM EDT reply actions

Some of the better jokes regarding Tiffin I’ve heard today…

Upon further inspection of the evidence at the crime scene, Tuscaloosa Police Department officials have announced that the assaulting party was a fully-inflated regulation NCAA football.

Tiffin was apparently trying to kick the ball, and the ball got the better of him.

The ball is being held on $2,500 bond, but it’s claiming self-defense.

(100 cocktails to BonzoMoon)
-——————————

Word outta Tuscaloosa, is that Tiffin initiated the confrontation by telling the assailant that he was going to “kick his a$$”… unfortunately for Tiffin, he was wide left.

(Multiple places today, including online)

Actually, Tiffin kicked the guy’s tail the first time, but Saban called a timeout and made him try it over.

(100 cocktails to AubVandy)

by NewAZTiger on May 7, 2009 2:34 PM EDT reply actions

Once again The Freek gives me something I have to show everyone in my office. I tip my hat to you sir.

by TideInTx on May 7, 2009 5:45 PM EDT reply actions

Cocktails to you sir – the Big Love reference only further solidifies my allegiance to this site. I look forward to MILF comments as soon as Weeds kicks back up on Showtime.

by Wes Tex on May 7, 2009 6:56 PM EDT reply actions