BETWEEN THE HEDGES GETS AN ENTIRELY NEW MEANING
by Orson on May 7, 2009 9:45 AM EDT
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Ladies and gentlemen, leave it to Dan Savage to turn even the twisted mind of Lewis Grizzard on its end:
I recently visited the University of Georgia in Athens, where the kids asked me to come up with a dirty meaning for "between the hedges," which is their football stadium’s nickname. Off the top of my head, I said, "The boy in a girl-boy-girl three-way could be described as being between the hedges." But upon further reflection, I think the term is a better description of going down on a woman with a particularly hairy bush—and the tongue, not the boy/girl doing the tonguing, is "between the hedges."
Lewis would approve, if his marital history is any indication of his fondness for going between the hedges. (Or perhaps not, actually. Refusing to play home games between the hedges could shorten a marriage by a considerable margin.) Looking around the rest of college football, there's certainly promising territory.
Death Valley. If an LSU fan hasn't already called her vagina this, we'll eat a bowl of driveway gravel, because you know "scoring in Death Valley" is low-hanging fruit for the degenerate minds of LSU fans.
The Big House. Oh, that's not kind.
The Swamp. Too easy.
The Shoe. Kind of a rugged endearment for it, but sure.
Home of the 12th Man. Now we're talking! Wait, whaaaa...
(HT: JCCW.)
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I wonder why “The jungle” never caught on for Jordan Hare stadium? This might be another benefit to not having a stadium nickname.
by sevenDs on May 7, 2009 9:51 AM EDT reply actions
There isn’t much ‘hedge’ to deal with these days. The only grass on the infield is a landing strip. From what I hear, the only landscaping is inside the stadium.
by Crabapple Buck on May 7, 2009 10:01 AM EDT reply actions
The official name of Penn State’s stadium is Beaver Stadium. One doesn’t even have to stretch. It’s basically Vagina Stadium.
by cj on May 7, 2009 10:03 AM EDT reply actions
Let us not forget that we call the Penn State area Happy Valley. There is also a village named Pleasant Gap nearby.
by WFY on May 7, 2009 10:06 AM EDT reply actions
Can’t believe we missed Happy Valley/Beaver Stadium. DAMN YOU COFFEE.
by Orson Swindle on May 7, 2009 10:12 AM EDT up reply actions
Let’s take this a step further and go with bowl games:
Fiesta Bowl – Ohio State keeps coming back to it. It’s like the boomerang girlfriend.
Sugar Bowl – tasty, but kills diabetics.
Orange Bowl – you might want to… ya, you should see a doctor
The Granddaddy of Them All – needs no comment
by vegas_buckeye on May 7, 2009 10:16 AM EDT reply actions
“The sea of red,” line up because it is time to earn your red wings.
by Anonymous IV on May 7, 2009 10:22 AM EDT reply actions
I like to think that the Sugar Bowl is paying homage to Nina Simone.
by Anonymous IV on May 7, 2009 10:24 AM EDT reply actions
If you go the NFL route, you can have Soldier Field and the Superdome. Personally I prefer anything super.
by JIMatUA on May 7, 2009 10:51 AM EDT reply actions
silly HTML skills or lack thereof.
anyway…
(insert Crimson Tide joke here)
by Chuck on May 7, 2009 11:03 AM EDT reply actions
Can’t believe someone passed on Jordan-“Hair” stadium.
How about the “Cockpit” for South Carolina? “Kneelin’ Stadium” for UT?
And no jokes about the “Chick-Fil-A Bowl”??? Where’s your imagination?
WDE
by Sullivan013 on May 7, 2009 11:12 AM EDT reply actions
Don’t forget “The Junction” at Davis Wade in Starksville. And if USCw ever built its own place, would it be called Trojan Stadium?
by yoyofutbawl on May 7, 2009 11:15 AM EDT reply actions
“If you go the NFL route, you can have Soldier Field and the Superdome.”
Doesn’t Tulane play their home games in the Superdome?
by MiseanAUFan on May 7, 2009 11:49 AM EDT reply actions
Don’t forget Cal’s stadium location in Strawberry Canyon.
by slims on May 7, 2009 12:22 PM EDT reply actions
Old school Northwestern fans still refer to Ryan Field by its proper name, Dyche Stadium. And yes, that rhymes with “bike.”
by HudiBlitz on May 7, 2009 1:05 PM EDT reply actions
Speaking of the trojans, since they first announced the plans to construct the galen center (their new basketball pit) I have been trying to promote a renaming of the arena: Welcome to the Trojan Condome
by ClydeB on May 7, 2009 1:18 PM EDT reply actions
Although no old school gamecocks fans actually call it this, “The Cockpit” is certainly a suggestive one.
by wooooohohoooo on May 7, 2009 1:45 PM EDT reply actions
Kent State plays in Dix Stadium. If that’s not enough, there’s probably a Golden Flashes joke in there for you somewhere.
by This Guy on May 7, 2009 6:55 PM EDT reply actions
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