“Just please don’t do it again.” He may be Ozymandias half-buried in sand now, but once upon a time Bobby Bowden not only called plays, he did so with astonishing testicularity. See: The Punterooskie, ‘88.

Bowden’s also wearing leather pants, too. Why? Because he liked the way he didn’t have to wear a seatbelt in the Caddy, man. Leather on the leather + Florida heat= space-age polymer-style adhesion. Leroy, come pull mah outta this-a car, son!

Thundering Herd, thunder on back there. Marshall’s Fulmer Cup points are reduced by four points after the initial felony charges filed against two players caught with weed are reduced to misdemeanors.

Full-brain radiation does not sound fun or healthy. Ohio State wide receiver Dan Potokar is now cancer free two years after being diagnosed with testicular cancer, and working as a student assistant coach with the Buckeyes. Nothing comes after this but happy thoughts and the notion that sometimes having your head bombarded with radiation can be quite good for you, contrary to what your doctor says about your cellphone. (An iPhone conversation a day: it’s like pre-emptive radiation treatment for free!)

Only 700 more to go. Ralph Friedgen has lost 80 pounds this offseason on a new diet, fitting into clothes he hasn’t worn since the 1990s (when he used to jog 3 miles a day with O’Leary at Tech, believe it or not.) If this does not convince you that jogging is total bullshit, nothing will. Hopefully this is more effective than Friedgen’s diet two years ago when he ate five meals a day “each the size of your fist,” a plan leading to Maryland coaches doing much of their work without hands for 2007. (HT: The brothers Mottran.)

He has time for this shit. Nick Saban will play himself in The Blind Side, and we pray he utters the “I love your window treatments” line just to justify paying to actually see the film in person. Remember that Bobby Petrino cannot be in the film, as he was not recruiting Oher at the time, and does not show up on film.