CURIOUS INDEX, 4/30/09
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Why, yes I did mean that. Search Wikipedia for the name of Wake Forest’s “Steed Lobotzke,” and you get a very fair answer in return (click for big): (HT: Rock M Nation.) The randomness of this cannot please us more, especially because we really were looking for instructions on a speed lobotomy. (Quick answer: does AOL want you as an online writer? You have already had one, then, and the procedure would be redundant, and the waste of a perfectly good sterile flexible scalpel.) Kellen Lewis leaves in a fog. The entire Indiana offense, Kellen Lewis, is gone from the team for undisclosed reasons after being moved to wide receiver and then committing some unspecified violation of team rules. Over the Pylon suspects weed, as his grades were allegedly okay, but it’s further proof that mutant athletes between the age of 18-22 who smoke pot are still mutant athletes no matter how much you put in their lungs. (They’re just mutant athletes who fiend for Flamin’ Hots between 10 pm and 2 am.) Melekilikki Maka is Hawaii’s way……of saying holy shit what the fuck is wrong with Hawaii’s anger management skills as a football team. Points to come–since they’re undoubtedly your new Fulmer Cup team leaders–but perhaps June Jones wasn’t entirely insane after all. Later in half we’re calling a fake punt try to stop it LOL. Les Miles is getting militant about his twittering, saying he will tweet at halftime, he will tweet before the game, he will tweet on the beaches, he will tweet in the streets, he will use it because it is yet another way to get recruits, control spin in the media, and if you’re Bill Stewart, a way to give someone the lovable digital country grampa you never had. Miles feed is here, and it’s as you imagined: fired-up, a bit scattered, and appropriately prone to pushing the 140 character limit. No, keep it up, it’s working. Ted Miller does an ESPN post based on a non-ESPN blog idea, does it well, and expands on said idea, showing he a.) actually reads blogs, and b.) knows what to do with them–i.e., link, expand, engage, and get chatty and hyperlinky with it. Cocktails duly awarded both for the technique, and for reminding us all that the Pac-10’s round robin scheduling is both burly and damaging to the teams’ national profile. |
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1
hobeg8r says:
He threatened to kill the dog? He’s gotta get extra points for that!
April 30th, 2009 at 8:38 am
2
ohiodawg says:
Nice touch with the dog. That’s got to earn at least one style point. I wonder if Kalauokaaea had been reading old issues of National Lampoon?
April 30th, 2009 at 8:42 am
3
CincySooner says:
I may have found the achilles’ heel of Lord Mingo…
A wikipedia search for Barkevious Mingo will kick back the following response.
bartkevicius minor
neither funny, nor majestic… merely absurd.
April 30th, 2009 at 8:43 am
4
JIMatUA says:
Forget the dog. The funniest part of the article is where he threw a glass at his girlfriend…and missed. How does your quarterback miss his girlfriend with a glass at a distance of under 10 yards? I would kick him off the team just for that.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:18 am
5
yoyofutbawl says:
“If You Don’t Buy This Magazine, We’ll Kill this Dog.” I had every issue from the first four years until my aunt decided to read one and threw the whole box into the trash.
Speed Lobotomy. Now I understand Houston Dale Nutt.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:19 am
6
CincySooner says:
SAM-I-AM:
Lester Miles. Lester Miles.
Would you tweet for recruit smiles?
Would you twitter at halftime?
Would you twitter with a mime?
Would you twitter in Starkville?
Would you twitter at Ben Hill?
Would you tweet ’bout what you like?
Would you tweet with your cat Mike?
LES MILES:
I would, I would, all that and more
I would twitter ’bout the score
Twitters both away and home,
I’d tweet up the Superdome.
Tweeting at the laudromat
I would tweet about my hat
But mostly here’s what I would say
“Les Miles says: Have a great day!!”
April 30th, 2009 at 9:26 am
7
Dissapointment says:
Is this the year where Les’ idiocy catches up with him? Last year may have just been the tip of the iceberg for LSU’s Titanic collapse under Miles.
April 30th, 2009 at 10:32 am
8
AERose says:
In words an SEC fan can understand: Pac-10 don’t shiv. Pac-10 balls nasty.
April 30th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
9
wowzer says:
Worst Unofficial Nick Saban Shirts Ive ever seen
http://www.cafepress.com/schoolcolors
April 30th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
10
DrB says:
Les Miles has 2 years left, I wonder what he’ll tweet about on some 4th down calls and insane play calls this year.
April 30th, 2009 at 4:58 pm