DEMETRIUS BYRD HOSPITALIZED, IN CRITICAL CONDITION

Note to self: If any of my sons are to be a first round draft pick, they automatically go into
“Boy in the Bubble” mode. And stay the hell out of Orlando and Miami. Most of the people who are driving in those cities aren’t from this country, or either over 75, and either way, cant read english or refuse too, and dont mind crossing 4 lanes of traffic to get off on an exit they suddenly remembered they had to get off of on the far right side. I should have given that 1996 Dodge van with New Jersey plates a love tap in the rear right quarter panel when he cut me off after he caused the other 3 lanes to lock up their brakes, and I should have put him in the wall Earnhart style, and I wouldnt have shed one little tear as it would have crashed, rolled and exploded, and I would have felt better knowing the world was rid of at least 8 more people from Jersey. Wheres my damn Xanax?
Oh yeh, get well Demetrius “Auburn Cant See Me” Byrd

“Most of the people who are driving in those cities aren’t from this country, or either over 75, and either way, cant read english or refuse too, and dont mind crossing 4 lanes of traffic to get off on an exit they suddenly remembered they had to get off of on the far right side”

…or they are dante stallworth

“…or they are dante stallworth”
Oh shit I can’t believe I laughed at that.

MPP – Orlando is a melting pot of people who can’t fucking drive. Tourists that have no idea where the fuck they are going, Hispanic and Asian immigrants that work at the theme parks and have just bought both a new car and a license to kill with their new bounty, Rednecks that can drive like Busch on the dirt, but shit on the road, and Fucking old people. I hate driving in Orlando. At least in Jacksonville we know where the fuck we’re going.

Fucking sad though, I hope Byrd gets out all right. That’s just sad.

BBS

I just spent last week there in O-town, and its really bizarre. I know its at least 4 lanes for the most part, but there needs to be a lane that reads “This Lane only for People Who know where the hell they are going.” And the other 3 should be labeled “For People Who are looking to get into wrecks before forgetting where they are going.”

You know who else is hospitalized? Stephen Hawking, fyi

This seems like a good place to share the following:

I was headed north on I-95 out of downtown Miami about a year ago. Somewhere just past the 836/Airport exit, the driver of a powder blue Ford Taurus realized that was the exit she was supposed to take. No worries, though. She just backed up and turned herself around right in the middle of the northbound lanes, in much the same way you would maneuver a large vehichle in a cramped parking garage. She then made her way back south to the exit she had missed, but not on the shoulder of the road or any other place that might seem conventional considering the circumstances. Nope. She used the far left lane, which to her was the far right lane… only she was the only driver headed in that direction.

It was rush hour and traffic was stop-and-go, which I suppose makes this story a little less fantastic. It still ranks near the top of the craziest things I’ve ever seen.

All the best to Demetrius.