VEGAS-BOUND: BE ADVISED

Who needs federal stimulus money with you lot heading to town – the state of Nevada’s turnaround starts here!

1) Virginia Tech

And all of the other questions- I’m sorry, but I can’t collect enough shreds of memory from my last vegas trip to come up with a single coherent location or activity I engaged in to help.

1. Georgia Tech – Party like it’s 1969.

2. Pai Gow – every game is a tie and you get your money back. Drinkin free!! Get your Gow on.

3. Casino Royale – wait for dollar craps and then act like you have no idea what your doing as others craft shanks to kill you for a spot at the cheap rail.

4. I’m thinkin your headed for a $400 dollar type of weekend.. Unless you go all Hunter S Thompson… then bat country will be the least of your worried as Lil Red wants to ride in your convertible. Then it will be very very bad.

1) Utah, but only if you do it (as with anything else worth doing in life) “for the lulz”

Slots-a-fun, its seedy in a good way, and there’s still $1 blackjack and $2 craps if you want to get your budget low-roller groove on, and I got $500 out of an Elvis slot there last year. Also recommend seeing Big Elvis at Billy’s on the strip, he wears a sequined mumu and sings like the big fella himself…

1) Ohio State. You did say you wanted to LOSE money, right?

Unless a sports book is going to pull up the Gatorvision internet feed, you won’t be watching the O&B game anywhere…

Can you put money down on whether or not Mac Brown will claim that he won a national chamipionship*?

Please treat your darned self to a meal at Lotus of Siam. Off the strip, with crunchy fried rice.

@rjsplow

I’m a Hokie and even I disagree with betting on us to win it. Like Orson has said, Bryan Stinespring still coaches this offense.

1. A better bet is Georgia Tech. Terrible conference, manageable non-con slate, a down Georgia team at home. It would be easy for the Jackets to go unbeaten in the regular season and get a shot at the national title against a one-loss SEC or Big 12 team. Plus the Jackets will probably be something like 60/1 where the Hokies will be about 20/1. Not that I have a problem with gambling or anything.

2. No clue.

3. You could go to the Las Vegas 51s game on Sunday and your entourage would double their attendance. If you’ve ever wanted to heckle baseball players and KNOW they can hear you, Cashman Field on a Sunday afternoon is your best bet.

4. For just you? I’ll go with $500.

I’m wondering which of you is going to have an experience similar to the good Dr. Thompson from Fear and Loathing and which of you is going to have an experience similar to Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas and try to drink themselves to death.

“3. What eccentric local dive/attraction/same should we investigate? "

Look for the free admission/two drink minimum tickets for matinee’ revue shows being handed out on The Strip.

You’ll end up at a side-street casino where drinks are about $2 and get an hour’s plus worth of gameshow-host-like comedy and some very nice Showgirl-wannabe tits on stage.
(Even Mrs. Gamecock enjoyed the change of pace.)

Tip the usher a 5 and he’ll seat you at the front tables. It makes you feel like an extremely poor man’s Dean Martin and keeps you away from the gaming for a couple hours before nap/dinner.

As for the prob bet…. have you seen ND’s schedule?

1. Georgia Tech. Second year magic—feel it. Along with the following exhortation the specifics of which remain a mystery to most defensive coordinators: You have to stop the fullback first.

2. Craps. It always has the noisiest table, though I haven’t a clue WTF is going on. Plus there is the whole Diamonds Are Forever “Plenty O’Toole” thing going on…

3. Renew your vows at the Elvis Wedding Chapel.

4. Seeing that you are a blogger: $12.

1. If forced to bet on someone other than UF I’d probably pick Oklahoma.

2. Go Go 21 at the Flamingo I think?

3. ‘Seamless’

4. $1,000

Holy hell, my first time in Vegas and here at the same time as Orson fucking Swindle himself. If you’re asking me for input, craps at the Bellagio worked pretty well for me last night.

1). The Buckeyes.
2). Does beer pong at O’Shea’s count?
3). The Double Down Saloon (right by the airport).
4). $375.50

I recommend going to Dona Maria’s for tamales and margaritas, both are excellent. It’s a little local dive past the Stratosphere on Las Vegas Blvd. I think they opened one up in Summerlin also but go to the original.

DickRod and Paulus…oh you actually want to win your futures bet…take the Ginger Ninja and Jesus Christ, the Dawgs were 50:1 at Planet Hollywood two weeks ago

snicker @ the recommendations for Georgia Tech. One win in Athens and all of the sudden they are world beaters? Remember gang, these guys are in the ACC and their biggest win is “the most overrated 10 win team in the history of college football.”

But, by all means, it’s good odds.

SEC teams win national titles. Pick Alabama if not Florida. QB be damned. If they could win all their regular season games with Sarah Jessica Parker at QB, then they’ll likely be fine with whomever takes the reigns this year. LSU wouldn’t be a bad choice either. Think: taffy.

Not Georgia though. Georgia will be lucky to be 2-3 going into Knoxville.

Just watched volume II of the MMA saga… Damn, did they teach you anything before they made you roll with that guy? He was camped out on your back the whole time!

The bet should be ridiculous. It’s a shot in the dark at this stage, so at least give yourself long odds with the prospect of a big payout. Texas Tech or WbgVirginia would be my recommendations.

Not a fan of Vegas. Based on the few times I’ve been there, I’d recommend the the drank and the pools.

Hard to say on the money. Yeah, you’re a blogger, but some of the deep background suggests money. I’ll go with $1,250 of gambling losses. Money spent drinking isn’t lost.

Put 20 on Ole Miss…they are 60-1. Plus we already know how to beat Tim Tebow’s ass.

1) Notre Dame. Because, fuck it. Why not?
2) Roulette. Because, fuck it. Why not.
3) I’ve already recommended the Liberty Cafe inside White Cross Drugs, All-Star Donuts (the world’s only 24-hour donut shop/Chinese restaurant) and the Little Darlings strip club. You could try the Double Down Saloon (Motto: You puke, you clean) on Sahara. I recommend grungy little local places like Atomic Liquors, Champagnes Cafe, the Stage Door (behind the Flamingo) and Frankie’s Tiki Room.
4) It’s a weak economy and you just bought a house, so I’ll say $800.

The once in 5-10 years phenomenon of Tech beating Georgia warms my cold heart, if for no other reason than to hear Georgia fans get pissy.

We use the, “ha, well you beat us your once in ten years, again,” excuse, well, about once every ten years, too.

Good job, ACC

1. South Florida – Great odds, but they’re 200:1 for a reason…

2. What new casino game should we try? Besides "vomit on the blackjack switch table at the Casino Royale?" (again) – Why would you want to? Play this continuously!

3. Roller Coaster @ New York New York

4. After a dizzying $5K take, you develop a severe gambling addiction and lose your house, car, and blog (down $23K).

Everybody, welcome to the new Every Day Should Be Luxor! (EDBSL) Unfortunately that now makes this a Vegas blog about UNLV…

Go with Texas A&M, just for the size of the potential payout. There’s nothing quite like putting down 20 to win 100K.

All I’ve got an answer to is question number 3:
The Girls of Glitter Gulch on Fremont. Go before 10PM to witness the trully awful strippers on the early shift.

1. I think Mt Union, but they may have a low payout.
2. Try playing slots at the airport/laundromat for a couple of hours. Great experience.
3. Excalibur Hotel isn’t touristy at all.
4. Is this the Peter Bean extravaganza? If so, -$7.50.

1) Notre Dame – just because
2) i dunno, the change machine?
3) for ncaa tourney we went to “dicks” at Excalibur, spent an hour screaming at waiters, waitresses, and the busboys/girls, made comments to other diners that they were eating “aborted wolf fetuses,” and thats all i really remember, i think we also got a picture with sponge bob too.
4) you leave up dammit, dont chase and dont make bets you cant walk away from

perfect timing, weather wise. Yesterday here it snowed, rained and hailed – all within three minutes of each other.

1. Throw the tweny twen twen on the team you feel the most spite for. It makes it that much spite-ier when they lose. It will only help your blood pressure, I promise.

2. Not a casino game, but for good side action with your friends, you can always play the “Ten bucks says she’s a hooker” game. It’s not the wagerin’ but the creative methods you’ll come up with for verification. Drank required.

3. You’re coming to vegas and wanting to check out a dive… talk about redundant. If you want to see some pathetic shit that will make you appreciate your income, go to the Skyline Casino on Boulder and Sunset. There’s a trailer park just behind the casino. And that’s the nice part …

4. The first rule of Las Vegas losses is – you don’t talk about Las Vegas losses. Everyone leaves here a winner – got it Mr Blogger with two knee caps?

1) I was gonna say VT, but then the first poster said VT.
2)Chizik Nickel slots. If you don’t win at least 19 of your first 21 attempts, Auburn will award you a 2 million dollar a year contract.
3) I don’t know, but that whole Tony Bourdain=too-cool-for-toursity-stuff attitude makes one seem like a prick.
4)even stevens, kidneys and all.

I didn’t mean to insinuate that you were a prick in #3, Tony was just especially asshole-ish on the Vegas episode and having never been there, I got nothin’.

1 – Texas, 6-1. Super-duper longshot? Oregon’s 30-1.

2 – I learned I can get ludicrous drunk playing $1 roulette at Harrah’s my last visit.

3 – Hash-a-go-go (cab ride). Just trust me on this one. Hangovers cringe at the mere mention.

4 – I’ll say $800.

1. Utah. Hey, if it happens ill look like a smarmy genius.

2. Cuban Roulette. A backroom game, yes, but way more beardtastic than the Russian edition.

3. Atomic Testing Museum. No joke here, just pretty neat.

4. $934.16 not taking into account “champaign” at Crazy Horse II. Or bail.

1. Double down (and your fun)—put $40 on the Gators—to win $42.

2. Casino War. Proof that Vegas has run out of ideas and is now looking for inspiration from “Vegas Vacation.”

3. Ellis Island (or to steal a page from Treasure Island marketing, “EI”). Come for the cheap food, drinks and locals, stay for the smoke and lung cancer. Also, it is the world’s largest Super 8 Motel.

4. Depends what you mean by lost? Just gambling? Or the total amount you will “lose” on food/drinks/cover/taxis/“strippers”/getting-robbed-on-your-walk-back-to-the-strip-from-EI/etc.

I’d take a flyer on Oregon. The non-conference schedule is rough (Boise State on the road, Utah at home), but they’ve got an advantageous home-away schedule with USC, Cal, and Oregon State all having to play in Autzen, a couple of ball carrying Sherman tanks on offense in Masoli and Blount, and a mad scientist at the controls in Chip Kelly.

I’d put in a word for my beloved Cal Bears, but the last time we thought we had a chance at the national championship game we ended up in the fetal position crying ourselves to sleep.

1. Ole Miss. Top 15 to start the season, 2 FCS patsies, won’t meet UF until Atlanta, Snead’s inferiority complex. Giggity Giggity. Giggity Goo.

.

I know, I already posted a team to bet on earlier, but if you want long odds on a team with a legitimate shot to win this year, and has crazy, stupid odds at this point, go with Michigan.

If they find anything remotely resembling a QB, RichRod will take care of the rest. And, being in the Big Televen, instead of the Big East like Wf’nVU, he gets the added bonus of enough legitimate teams sprinkled in the creampuffs that, should they go undefeated, they look like world beaters. And making the BCSNCG is half the battle. The other is, apparently, not being coached by Stoops or Tressel…

knowing that you’ve enjoyed the pacific rim, if you like Thai food, there is a little place called Thai Food to Go at 3242 Desert Inn Road. (DI). Basically, you drive down DI, away from the strip, toward the desert, away from the mountains. It will be on your left a few blocks past Eastern Avenue. It’s in a little strip mall, that also has a donut place in it. More about that in a minute.

Anyhow, you can eat in the Thai food place, it’s not only to go. You can get all the food as spicy or as not spicy as you’d like. The food, surprisingly, is quite quite good. I like the yellow curry. http://www.restaurantica.com/restaurants/29051/

OK, the donut shop a couple doors down is owned by a Vietnamese guy. He was… a soldier? He got rescued? There are pictures with him with an M-16 throughout the years. In all the pictures, he’s with all the motorcycle cops in Las Vegas. He also has hand grenades and has been in parades. I have no idea what the hell is going on. Just go to the thai place for lunch, then go to the donut place, before 1, because they close at 1 p.m.

Seriously, the guy has pictures of HUNDREDS of cops. In a donut shop.

Las Vegas is so incredibly weird to live in.

1. Va. Tech at 20-1. Aside from Bama and GT, all their tough games are at home.
2. Pai Gow poker now has Pai Gow insurance, meaning your best chance at a big payoff is to get a crappy hand.
3. Battista’s (Eye-talian place behind the Flamingo). It’s got a four foot tall oldster playing an accordion, free house wine and numerous pictures of the Hoff prominently displayed.
4. $100. Without knowing your betting patterns this is a shot in the dark.

I also highly recommend the Dealertainers at the IP. The 40 yo Britney Spears wanna-be dealt me several blackjacks.

Why don’t you knock out #2 and #3 in one fell swoop.

They have “swim-up” blackjack tables at the Hard Rock hotel. I think the Trop might have them too.

Its blackjack…. in the pool. and they bring you drinks… in the pool.

I know that O is gone….but I can’t wait to see his take on this…..FSU says Bobby at risk of being furloughed…..

http://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/200904170200/FSU01/904170347

Not You @ 26

Put down the crack pipe and step away from the computer. UM will be lucky to go .500. The point of gambling is to have a chance to win. UM has NO CHANCE.

@28:

And the spread will never work in the SEC. The Big Televen is unbeatable. The 2006 Buckeyes are a team of destiny (UNDEFEATED, #1 WIRE TO WIRE!). The 2007 Buckeyes learned from the mistakes of the previous year, you’ve got LSU this time. Okay, the 2008 Buckeyes are done losing big games, you’ve got Texas in the bag, I mean, nobody else in the Big XII South won THEIR Bowl game…

The bet is contingent on three things.

1) Michigan finds a real, honest to god QB. If Nick Sheridan stays, the bet’s already over.
2) After steamrolling creampuffs, And eeking out wins against Ohio State and Penn State, they’re ZOMGAWESOME. They win the BCS bid as a result.
3) They get Oklahoma as a matchup. Stoops quits coaching after receiving the bid.

The odds of that happening are greater than the odds Vegas will give. It’s a value bet. Of course, their lack of QB at this point is worrying, but hey. It’ll end all the talk about the Big Televen sucking! It will be conclusively proven that it’s just Ohio State.

If you want a crazy pay-out: Kentucky

If you want to win: Texas

http://www.vegasindoorskydiving.com/

Indoor skydiving. Its hot, smells a bit like vomit and you have to sign that “death release” but otherwise, its a blast!

“Your usual table, Mr. Poppagorgio?”
I would actually put money on Ole Miss too.
When the cash runs low and you’ve had too much drank, it’s always fun to go visit the police station for a few hours. typically it’s good for a few interesting scenes a night- hookers and pimps fighting, really drunk drunks, etc. If nothing else, it makes you feel less bad about yourself- when you’re down and out, just lower the bar and you’re a success all over again!

As for games, i have always had silly luck at let-it-ride. I’m normally a 7-card stud player, but if you don’t like head-to-head competition let-it-ride poker or roulette has always served me well, besides the norm blackjack

Have fun, you selfish bastard. What am I going to do until 5pm? I would say Ole Miss would be a good not-so-long-it-can’t-happen kind of bet for the MNC, until Pete Boone decided to schedule 12 games in a row.

Put your 20 on Dread Pirate Leach. It is Written.

1 – Kentucky – get the most return out of your $20 that you can, without going for, say, Washington…
2 – Caribbean Stud – Throwing bad money after worse is always fun
3 – Stage Deli – have heard nothing but good about it from friends who have been there recently (+/- 6 mos ago)
4 – spring bender? $1k…

Trev Alberts is a finalist for the AD job at the University of Nebraska……at Omaha.
http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_page=3925&u_sid=10612319

1. Put it on Texas because then you’ll have two chances to win. They might win it legitimately, or they may come up with some kind of asterisk to claim it for themselves.

2. Spanish 21 is fun and usually profitable. If you get blackjack, you win immediately. If you get 21, you win immediately. If you double down and get a shitty card, the dealer will rescue you for the cost of your original bet. The downside is they take the “10” cards (not the face cards, just the 10’s) out of the deck.

3. Pass.

4. You know what? I believe in you Orson. I believe you can rise up against the evil money-grubbing soul-crushing alcoholism-causing casinos of Vegas and actually win money this weekend. After all, you are going to Bat Country to chase the American Dream. What dream is more American than getting a shitton of money with little to no effort?

1. Why not Ole Miss? Hell it’s only $20…chump change for a high-powered sports commentariat like yourself.
2. I’m a blacjack man, but the free drinks make it hard for me to keep up with the dealers’ arithmetic. So it becomes all about trust.
3. Place to avoid: I got roped into some really weird dinner at one of the restaurants at the Hard Rock on a weekend celebration of one of my college buddies making it home safe from Iraq. His girlfriend planned the itenerary. The place was supposed to be some “progressive/fusion blah blah blah” type shit. The menu was pre-selected and consisted of both meatloaf and cotton candy. And the bill was like $250 per couple. Not pleased.
4. You can’t do a weekend in Vegas worth a shit for under $2,000.00. If you do, please email me how you did it. Unless you won big, of course.

Oh and Orson…jorts really stand out in Vegas. jortsjortsjorts.

I would put money on Texas – Florida is at 2/1 and Texas is at 10/1.
Asterisks aside, I think the true odds for Texas are better than that.

1. Miam-uh. Shannon’s got half of Dade and Broward County’s finest on the tails of his team, which is now comprised of another year’s worth of the best cocaine cowboys this side of Rick Ross.

2. Throw-my-drink-at-the-dealer-in-disgust-and-run-like-hell. It’s fun.

3. Wayne Newton’s anus.

4. $289.51. The penny is thrown in a fountain.

I heartily agree with the comedic horror of a Glitter Gulch visit (I saw a stripper there with “Slut” tattooed on her back in Olde English letters; I thought it was the most honest thing I’d ever seen).

Fremont in general is the way to go in Vegas. If I’m going to hemorrhage cash, I’ll do it somewhere appreciative. The drink girls swing by at least every 4 minutes.

Also recommend the dune buggy adventure that can be had north of town. Multiple pick up locations along the strip. Nothing like racing in the desert after an all night bender with the screech of the jets from Nellis AFB overhead.

1. My heart says Bama, but my head says Texas. Year 2 of the Boom Motherfucker D

2. I’m a craps man. pass line, max odds (100x at Casino Royale if they let you back in), and 6 and 8.

3. Planet Hollywood. Miss USA’s there this weekend. A pussy buffet on parade

4. Boys trip: $2500. Chick in tow: $750

You can either put down your $20 on UF or I can go out under the monorail behind the MGM and kick you both in the junk and we can call it even. Either way, you’re going to have the same nausea as Florida fails to score a point on Alabama in the National, er, SEC Championship Game this year.

Really, it’s Florida and Alabama for the NC for the remainder of the decade. No one else matters.

And the best place to eat in Vegas is The Palm at the Forum Shoppes. Bring back enough handouts from the mexican folks for all of us.

Whhooopp….Whhooooooop…Whooooppp !! Reggie Ball Meltdown Alert on ESPN Classic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really like the 50 to 1 odds Bodog has for Georgia. Richt has build a consistent program and they could get a unexpected win over Florida. There’s also the Peyton Manning theory of SEC QB going #1 in the draft and then his old team gets over the hump he couldn’t get over.

“Mr. Inside” Doc Blanchard died today :(

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090420/ap_on_sp_co_ne/fbc_obit_blanchard;_ylt=Ai9WT16WDCwgi1WPOZIwH0oLMxIF