VEGAS-BOUND: BE ADVISED
We’re headed to a bit of recreation and no rest in the beautiful city of Las Vegas tonight, therefore be advised: the “Gone Cookin’” sign is up for the blog tomorrow, though how you’ll be able to tell this from any other offseason Friday is beyond us. We’ll be in Bat Country, and therefore swatting away invisible pterodactyls.
Your homework questions being, though:
1. Who should we drop a twenty on for the national title? Besides Florida, because that’s happening with a fierceness, and we just like to lose money.
2. What new casino game should we try? Besides “vomit on the blackjack switch table at the Casino Royale?” (again)
3. What eccentric local dive/attraction/same should we investigate?
4. Total dollar amount lost for the entire weekends. Place your bets now, people.
We’ll be watching the Orange and Blue game from a sports book, which is the next best thing to being there, and may actually be safer thanks to the reduced risk of skin cancer from not baking in the stands at Florida Field. We wish you an early happy weekend, and remind you that we’re your friends. Get in. You’re ready to ride in a convertible.
(Part four of the MMA saga will be up shortly as well. Enjoy.)
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51
JD says:
1. Put it on Texas because then you’ll have two chances to win. They might win it legitimately, or they may come up with some kind of asterisk to claim it for themselves.
2. Spanish 21 is fun and usually profitable. If you get blackjack, you win immediately. If you get 21, you win immediately. If you double down and get a shitty card, the dealer will rescue you for the cost of your original bet. The downside is they take the “10″ cards (not the face cards, just the 10’s) out of the deck.
3. Pass.
4. You know what? I believe in you Orson. I believe you can rise up against the evil money-grubbing soul-crushing alcoholism-causing casinos of Vegas and actually win money this weekend. After all, you are going to Bat Country to chase the American Dream. What dream is more American than getting a shitton of money with little to no effort?
April 17th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
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Vol says:
1. Why not Ole Miss? Hell it’s only $20…chump change for a high-powered sports commentariat like yourself.
2. I’m a blacjack man, but the free drinks make it hard for me to keep up with the dealers’ arithmetic. So it becomes all about trust.
3. Place to avoid: I got roped into some really weird dinner at one of the restaurants at the Hard Rock on a weekend celebration of one of my college buddies making it home safe from Iraq. His girlfriend planned the itenerary. The place was supposed to be some “progressive/fusion blah blah blah” type shit. The menu was pre-selected and consisted of both meatloaf and cotton candy. And the bill was like $250 per couple. Not pleased.
4. You can’t do a weekend in Vegas worth a shit for under $2,000.00. If you do, please email me how you did it. Unless you won big, of course.
Oh and Orson…jorts really stand out in Vegas. jortsjortsjorts.
April 17th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
53
Tron says:
I would put money on Texas – Florida is at 2/1 and Texas is at 10/1.
Asterisks aside, I think the true odds for Texas are better than that.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
54
Rockabye Reggie Nelson says:
1. Miam-uh. Shannon’s got half of Dade and Broward County’s finest on the tails of his team, which is now comprised of another year’s worth of the best cocaine cowboys this side of Rick Ross.
2. Throw-my-drink-at-the-dealer-in-disgust-and-run-like-hell. It’s fun.
3. Wayne Newton’s anus.
4. $289.51. The penny is thrown in a fountain.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
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Pinto says:
I heartily agree with the comedic horror of a Glitter Gulch visit (I saw a stripper there with “Slut” tattooed on her back in Olde English letters; I thought it was the most honest thing I’d ever seen).
Fremont in general is the way to go in Vegas. If I’m going to hemorrhage cash, I’ll do it somewhere appreciative. The drink girls swing by at least every 4 minutes.
Also recommend the dune buggy adventure that can be had north of town. Multiple pick up locations along the strip. Nothing like racing in the desert after an all night bender with the screech of the jets from Nellis AFB overhead.
April 18th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
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bamagreg says:
1. My heart says Bama, but my head says Texas. Year 2 of the Boom Motherfucker D
2. I’m a craps man. pass line, max odds (100x at Casino Royale if they let you back in), and 6 and 8.
3. Planet Hollywood. Miss USA’s there this weekend. A pussy buffet on parade
4. Boys trip: $2500. Chick in tow: $750
April 18th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
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alex f hamilton says:
You can either put down your $20 on UF or I can go out under the monorail behind the MGM and kick you both in the junk and we can call it even. Either way, you’re going to have the same nausea as Florida fails to score a point on Alabama in the National, er, SEC Championship Game this year.
Really, it’s Florida and Alabama for the NC for the remainder of the decade. No one else matters.
And the best place to eat in Vegas is The Palm at the Forum Shoppes. Bring back enough handouts from the mexican folks for all of us.
April 18th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
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pick6bamr says:
Whhooopp….Whhooooooop…Whooooppp !! Reggie Ball Meltdown Alert on ESPN Classic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 19th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
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John says:
I really like the 50 to 1 odds Bodog has for Georgia. Richt has build a consistent program and they could get a unexpected win over Florida. There’s also the Peyton Manning theory of SEC QB going #1 in the draft and then his old team gets over the hump he couldn’t get over.
April 19th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
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Anonymous IV says:
“Mr. Inside” Doc Blanchard died today
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090420/ap_on_sp_co_ne/fbc_obit_blanchard;_ylt=Ai9WT16WDCwgi1WPOZIwH0oLMxIF
April 19th, 2009 at 11:42 pm