TELL JIM WHY (HE DON'T LIKE MONDAYS)

by Orson on Apr 13, 2009 3:02 PM EDT

Track guy: Here, Coach. Hold the starter's pistol for the photo, okay? You ready to go?

Jim Tressel: Oh, I'm past ready. I've passed the point of no return. Do you know what that is? That's the point in a journey where it's longer to go back to the beginning. It's like when those astronauts got in trouble. I don't know, somebody messed up, and they had to get them back to Earth. But they had passed the point of no return. They were on the other side of the moon and were out of contact for like hours. Everybody waited to see if a bunch of dead guys in a can would pop out the other side. Well, that's me. I'm on the other side of the moon now and everybody is going to have to wait until I pop out.

Track guy: Um, that's just a starter's pistol, Coach. It can't kill anyone.

[/pause]

Tressel: Oh, um...very well. Great work you're doing here. Have a great day. (whistles, walks away.)

(HT: Jeff via this.)

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Coach D-FENS

by spartymike on Apr 13, 2009 3:23 PM EDT reply actions

Must be photoshopped… Tressel isn’t wearing a sweater vest.

by We Are Fanatics on Apr 13, 2009 3:49 PM EDT reply actions

I think he is looking to shoot anyone who twitters. I would approve that myself.

by Crabapple Buck on Apr 13, 2009 3:51 PM EDT reply actions

Guns don’t kill people. Coaches that find their way to BCS championship games and get blown out by SEC schools every time kill people.

by www.southbendblarney.com on Apr 13, 2009 3:57 PM EDT reply actions

Later in an effort to connect with a recruit Tressel showed this picture and said “Brrratt. That’s the sound of my Gat.” Still no word on whether the pitch was succesful in talking the recruit out of going to Miami.

by JIMatUA on Apr 13, 2009 4:14 PM EDT reply actions

/humming “four dead in O-Hi-O.”

by Jack Fact on Apr 13, 2009 5:22 PM EDT reply actions

Say ‘what’ again! Say ‘what’ again – I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more goddamn time!

by BradyQuinnMedicineWoman on Apr 13, 2009 5:43 PM EDT reply actions

“Guns don’t kill people. Coaches that find their way to BCS championship games and get blown out by SEC schools every time kill people.”

Holy shit, that is genius. Someone get this guy his own blog!

by Poe McKnoe on Apr 13, 2009 7:41 PM EDT reply actions

I am not a vigilante. I am just an ordinary man trying to win big in the postseason. Now if everyone will just stay out of my way, then nobody will get hurt.

by Dane on Apr 13, 2009 9:13 PM EDT reply actions