MINGOVIANS! TO THE FRONT!

by Orson on Apr 13, 2009 5:00 PM EDT

Once more into the breach, for Mingovia is under attack! Vote early, vote often, and stave off the ravages of Crystal Metheny, who deserves neither your pity nor your vote! GO MINGOVIANS! THE WALLS OF OUR FAIR KINGDOM SHAKE WITH THE BRAVE SACRIFICES OF YOUR PRODUCTIVE TIME!!!

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All these proles from Washington voting for the lowly “Crystal Metheny” fail to realize that the dumb hick’s last name is pronounced (Mih-Thee-Nee,) voiding it of any comedic value what-so-ever. She’s just someone named “Crystal,” which is more sad than anything.

Tell your friends, co-workers and even strangers on the street to vote for Mingovia.

by Jesus on Apr 13, 2009 5:49 PM EDT reply actions

Down @ 4:45, tied @ 4:50, the comeback has begun. By my count it is around 2 votes a second right now, that just by hitting refresh every second and seeing how many votes the total goes up.

by ColRebsLastBreath on Apr 13, 2009 5:50 PM EDT reply actions

And @ 5:00 back in the lead. Amazing what Mingovia can accomplish in 15 minutes time.

by ColRebsLastBreath on Apr 13, 2009 6:01 PM EDT reply actions

SLAY THIS FOUL WENCH BY FREEING THY INTERNET OF chocolate-chipped TREATS AND REFRESH THOU INTERNET until CRYSTAL’S ice pipe is SMASHED into the pavement as if DOG himself had found it!

by CookielessMingovianMonster on Apr 13, 2009 6:28 PM EDT reply actions

I agree with the analyst that said Crystal Metheny is funny the first time you read it and laugh like a frat boy, but Barkevious Mingo has a lot of staying power, charm, and wit.

by Tim on Apr 13, 2009 7:22 PM EDT reply actions

Latest update from Chicago at 9:40pm ET on Monday night:

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No. 4 Barkevious Mingo
53% 1771 votes

No. 7 Crystal Metheny
47% 1559 votes

Total Votes : 3330
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by Geaux Irish on Apr 13, 2009 9:40 PM EDT reply actions

He’s in! Final Four match against Nutritious Love…MINGOVIANS UNITE!

by Mingovian commoner on Apr 14, 2009 12:13 AM EDT reply actions

I think polling doesn’t close until Tuesday night, so folks, make sure you get in there on Tuesday!

by Geaux Irish on Apr 14, 2009 3:45 AM EDT reply actions

Crystal Metheny was the last real challange. Final four:

No. 4 Barkevious Mingo v. No. 2 Nutritious Love

No. 8 Velvet Milkman v. No. 1 Iris Macadangdang

Barkevious Mingo will triumph!

by Natijacket on Apr 14, 2009 5:43 AM EDT reply actions

The Mingo/Love matchup is for the championship. I’m not impressed by anything coming out of the other side of the bracket.

by CincySooner on Apr 14, 2009 8:21 AM EDT reply actions

As of 8:52 AM EDT, it is Ming the Merciless with 58% of the votes. Nutritious Love will be tough, Mingovians.

by yoyofutbawl on Apr 14, 2009 8:53 AM EDT reply actions

Velvet Milkman will be tough competition and Nutritious Love is no slouch. Rise, Mingovians. Show them the bloody fate of all those who would dare challenge Mingovia and her Ruthless Leader.

by Harris on Apr 14, 2009 9:54 AM EDT reply actions