CURIOUS INDEX, 4/9/2009

by Orson on Apr 9, 2009 9:32 AM EDT

Antwaan Randle-Lewis. Student reporting on Indiana's move of qb Kellen Lewis, their most productive player and best athlete, to wide receiver, where he can line up all over the field, make plays, and watch as his quarterback is sacked in plays he would get out of if he were playing qb.

No, we're not skeptical. Skeptics also by definition think there's the possibility of success. Pessimists think something won't work, which is precisely the case here.

Statistics can't measure the absolute zero of his soul. But they do show that Bobby Petrino actually did a phenomenal job converting the Razorbacks into a passing team this season, early struggles against the multidirectionals of the world aside. Also--surprise!--score points and prevent points, and you'll win the SEC, as Florida did by a wide margin in the SEC East. (HT: Blutarsky.)

It's 3:00 a.m., and Bill Snyder is eating his morning meal of boiled bat. Bill Snyder has his assistants back up to 15 hour days, necessary by any measure in order to break down all that film of McNeese State. He's also quite funny according to his coaches, which insane people can appear to the sane until you remember: they're completely batshit crazy, and watching film while eating whole bats at 3 in the morning.

My God, that's beautiful penmanship. TNIAAM has Doug Marrone's amazing penmanship on display. Mike Leach likes to go deep in the font collection, too: initially he was a verdana man, and then moved to Garamond, but now he sends out his memos in wingdings and just makes you figure it out, dude.

What can you buy for 3 million dollars? Not reading comprehension, sadly. Also, we thought "After 9/11 we'd be a lot nicer" is officially the stupidest fucking thing we've ever heard. We thought that after 9/11, we'd...we'd be this person, actually. And we are.

Tweet Comment 9 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/2009/01/blog-hater-rick-reilly-starts-blog.html

what a hypocritical anti-blogger douchbag blogger

by alanon on Apr 9, 2009 10:28 AM EDT reply actions

Missing Links by Reilly is a classic.

by Two Down on Apr 9, 2009 10:50 AM EDT reply actions

In fairness to Coach Snyder, he has single handedly rescued the edible bat industry without a single penny of federal bailout funds.

by Counter Trap on Apr 9, 2009 10:59 AM EDT reply actions

Didn’t 9-11 prove that the world is alot meaner? Maybe that’s why the triple option doesn’t work anymore. Defenses are simply too mean to allow any of that fancy crap. THROW THE BALL LIKE A REAL POST-911 MAN!!!!

by meatybob on Apr 9, 2009 1:06 PM EDT reply actions

Bill Stewart has his assistants write offer letters in charcoal, and is not impressed by Doug Marrone in the least.

by Flatlander on Apr 9, 2009 1:42 PM EDT reply actions

Reilly is just an overrated mediocrity. Simmons is an A-1 douchebag.

by oc phil on Apr 9, 2009 2:14 PM EDT reply actions

Writers hating writers is just that…hatin, bitches. I don’t care who signs your paycheck or how many of your articles are sealed on the floor with piss. Reilly and Simmons are terrified they are only funny and interesting compared to the rest of their former Dbag mag honchos. Shouldn’t they be satisfied with their Scrooge McDuck money they are banking for mailing in “facsinating” andicdotes? I guess not.

+1 Bourbon to you, Orson and your like.

by COB on Apr 9, 2009 5:32 PM EDT reply actions

As an Indiana grad, I never thought I’d see the Hoosiers on this blog, and I hoped I never would because I knew it would be for something like this.

by Kiffin Loves Legos on Apr 9, 2009 7:51 PM EDT reply actions

Good to see that Bill Lynch is now doing for Indiana what he did to my Cardinals for too many years. Namely, screwing them up.

The off-season (and in-season, for that matter) QB clown-car derby was an annual staple of Lynch’s teams in Muncie. Apparently, he still finds it entertaining. My guess is that Hoosier fans won’t.

by Papa Lou BSU on Apr 9, 2009 11:58 PM EDT reply actions