CURIOUS INDEX, 4/7/09

by Orson on Apr 7, 2009 9:37 AM EDT

Your real national champions take the field. Utah takes the field in spring, working in a pair of qbs (the likely starter being Corbin Louks) and reminding everyone that the BCS sucks a sick bull's taint.

A $44,000 asterisk. The claimed Big 12 title was more than idle chest-thumping across the Red River: Mack Brown's assistants got performance bonuses tied to the championship because of the snafu, a move cleared by the President of the University himself in order to get Brown's assistants the extra cash. "You see? You take care ah Mack, Mack'll take care of you." All of that Senatorial talent, just being wasted as a football coach; he's just a thumbpoint away from making it happen.

Yes. We see this. In a moment.

Major bummer. Florida safety Major Wright says being a football player hasn't really helped his love life.

How has being a Gator helped out your love life?

Just being a Gator, period, everyone loves all the Gators. Who wouldn't love a Gator? It hasn't really helped my love life, it just expanded some of the people that I know and some of the people that I'm closer to.

Further proof that Brandon Spikes' ball-hawking skills and dominating presence eats up more than just potential interceptions and forced fumbles. Also: injuries mount, Meyer won't talk about Percy's alleged positive weed test, and we have no backup o-line.

Prince wants you to sit on that couch, make him the starting quarterback. Kevin Prince is going to be the starting qb at UCLA most likely, due to the fact he has a strong arm, and also because Kevin Craft threw 20 interceptions last year to 7 touchdowns, and JESUS SON JUST TAKE A SACK.

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Ahhhh, the sweet smell of spring and the return Hawkeye Fulmer Cup points. In the family, with recidivism too.

by yoyofutbawl on Apr 7, 2009 10:24 AM EDT reply actions

To be fair, “Fifth Degree Criminal Mischief” almost sounds fun.

by GamecockTony on Apr 7, 2009 10:26 AM EDT reply actions

I can’t wait to see who takes advantage of the multiple arrests bonus points first. Iowa certainly has the inside track.

by psuphiman80 on Apr 7, 2009 10:36 AM EDT reply actions

If there isn’t already a milk bar in Iowa City, there needs to be. Young Ferentz and his droogs need a staging ground for future exploits.

by sonofsamford on Apr 7, 2009 10:39 AM EDT reply actions

We finally get Fulmer Cup activity, and from who else but our old stalwart, IOWA! They may be middle of the country, but they aren’t middle of the pack! Wait until Dean Wormer gets thru with them and revokes their charter.

by Crabapple Buck on Apr 7, 2009 10:50 AM EDT reply actions

Coach Stoops on the asterisk:

“It doesn’t much matter to me at all. I know there isn’t one on ours and I know where the trophy is, pretty simple.”

by Floyd on Apr 7, 2009 11:10 AM EDT reply actions

Hey Orson,

Have you ever done an analysis of which first names are most likely to get points for the Fulmer Cup? I would bet that “Zach” is high on the list. Just saying…

by Lawrence on Apr 7, 2009 11:18 AM EDT reply actions

Major Wright then followed up with “Ya’ know what i mean- the only way bein’ a Gator could really help MY love life is if Gators got allowed 25 hours in a normal day, ‘cause then that would give me another hour of fuckin’ above and beyond the 24 hours of fuckin’ i have now. And you know Tebow ain’t fuckin’ any of ’em, and somebody got to! Shiii…”

by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker on Apr 7, 2009 11:33 AM EDT reply actions

" The $44k in bonus money confines has nothing to do w/ "claiming" the Big XII Championship and everything to do w/ reminding the coaches that if you don’t finish every game strong, that’s all you end up with…..less bonus money…..an eternal reminder of what might have been. That money doesn’t signify simply a lost Big XII title, but a lost MNC"

by oc phil on Apr 7, 2009 11:36 AM EDT reply actions

Did the Texas* coaches get “Honorable Mention” ribbons too?

by Soonertruth on Apr 7, 2009 12:50 PM EDT reply actions

Are we taking bets as to when Kevin Prince gets maimed with a horrific injury?

UCLA QBs = papier-mache + balsa wood + deer in headlights

by Signal to Noise on Apr 7, 2009 3:05 PM EDT reply actions

Yet Tennessee could not grasp the mojo of UCLA seam routes.

One wonders if Kiffin the Elder can blunt the Chow-Fu.

It might also have helped if the Great Pumpkin had ordered Clawson to hand the friggin’ ball to the RBs instead of having Crompton throw the ball 43 times. Yes, as in “The Crompton.” ’Tis a simple game at times.

by Counter Trap on Apr 7, 2009 4:06 PM EDT reply actions

chickety check it out orsman.

http://myespn.go.com/blogs/big12/0-8-192/The-celebrated-asterisk-banner-is-coming-down.html

by cyclonestate on Apr 7, 2009 7:45 PM EDT reply actions

“The Real National Champions”? I’m sorry, I missed the part of last season where UTah proved themselves better than the Gators. Just me and my ADD I guess.

by beachgator on Apr 7, 2009 10:52 PM EDT reply actions