CURIOUS INDEX, 4/6/2009
by Orson on Apr 6, 2009 8:45 AM EDT
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Forget this Tebow bitch FIND ME THAT MAN!!! We were going to just ignore this video, but then we saw the Windows Movie Maker newspaper header and just knew this was something special. Until this mysterious individual is found and immediately granted a scholarship and starter's spot on the depth chart Florida will have to make do with Tim Tebow, a marginal quarterback in the process of tweaking his throwing motion and watching as John Brantley, Florida's quarterback of the future, continues to tailgate the flagging qb's starting job. Oh, what could have been had Todd McShay not said his throwing motion resembled "a windmill!" Florida fans, 'til 2010 it is--this season will be but a sad farewell to what could have been. Only Texas fans shall know your pain. Longhorns fans also await the sad, inevitable disappointment of the once-promising Colt McCoy's final year. McCoy continued his tumble into mediocrity--hastened by his arrest for elephant poaching in his sophomore year--with a mediocre performance in the Longhorns' spring game. How bad? We shudder as we type this, but so bad...they used...THE I-FORMATION ON THE GOAL LINE. What have you done to Texas football, Mr. McCoy? WHAT INDEED, SIRRAH? (They couldn't even play on a regular-sized field, so weak was Mr. McCoy!) Line for the day: three catches, one arrest. Rod Owens caught three passes in a rare offensive highlight in a defensive-minded spring game for the Florida State Seminoles, and then caught one charge of DUI for driving with a BAC at twice the legal limit with his headlights off in Tally. Fulmer Cup points to be tallied, but we remind you that catching three passes in one game is cause for drunken celebration in the Florida State football program, and that this is deliciously funny. The Seminoles also fumbled six times on the day. Winning forever and still looking better on 3 hours sleep a night than you ever will. Pete Carroll is excited, Twittering away, and just fine with the ho-hum performances of USC's quarterbacks in their spring scrimmage. His protege Lane Kiffin says the same in response to the same at Tennessee, where the starting offense turned the ball over three times and Jonathan Crompton had one fumble and one interception, a combo we'll just type in shorthand as "The Crompton" from now on. (2 and 2? "The Double Crompton." 2 picks and one fumble? "The Flying Crompton." Two fumbles, no picks? "The Crompton, Neat.") Bama's spring game=TTHHEE PPAARRTTYY. Nick Saban has sounded the horn of Wallace Wade, and hath let it be known that because Alabama's spring game is going to be on ESPN that the Crimson masses shall assemble in the customary numbers. You will see their immensity, and be simultaneously impressed and sort of frightened all at once. |
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The Crompton.
The Horn of Wallace Wade.
Examples, ye readers of the intertubes, of why I come to this place.
by Counter Trap on Apr 6, 2009 9:23 AM EDT reply actions
Woe unto thee who attempts to invade the USA through Alabama. If 80,000+ show up for a glorified spring practice scrimmage, imagine what hell awaits a would-be invader?
More proof that Red Dawn was a complete farce.
by Gerbs on Apr 6, 2009 9:34 AM EDT reply actions
For two picks, no fumbles(as if he could hold on to the ball long enough for that to happen), I nominate the “Rusty Crompton”
by MikeLew on Apr 6, 2009 9:34 AM EDT reply actions
The Rusty Crompton would be three fumbles, one pick, and under 100 yards passing.
by Orson Swindle on Apr 6, 2009 9:40 AM EDT reply actions
2 fumbles, a pick and a safety: The Crompton Steamer.
by ohiodawg on Apr 6, 2009 9:42 AM EDT reply actions
If Tebow wants to improve his throwing motion by watching film, tell him to pull up some of the video of John Elway. While he was with the Broncos, they would put on a demonstration every spring at the Air Force Academy field for the military (Fort Carson soldiers, the Academy, and Peterson AFB) . I once saw Elway put ten for ten through the uprights from midfield…..on one knee. Everyone of them was a frozen rope right down the middle.
Sullivan013
by sullivan013 on Apr 6, 2009 10:00 AM EDT reply actions
Jarrett Lee is not impressed by that throw— put one of his receivers on the goal line and he could throw it 15 yards over their heads without a problem.
by PW on Apr 6, 2009 10:06 AM EDT reply actions
O-
You say that like you don’t think Kiffykins is stubborn enough to let him stay in that long.
by MikeLew on Apr 6, 2009 10:45 AM EDT reply actions
That guy’s throwing motion would be totally ruined by shoes.
by domer.mq on Apr 6, 2009 10:47 AM EDT reply actions
I wonder if he’s gonna post the shoulder surgery video after throwing like that.
by scalz1 on Apr 6, 2009 11:01 AM EDT reply actions
Yeah, because you know you can always get a five yard running start when heaving a ball down field, and no, there will never be a linebacker tattooing you when you do it.
by Brian O'Blivion on Apr 6, 2009 11:50 AM EDT reply actions
“Now, Loeffler is teaching and tweaking and working to unlock the full potential of Tebow and Brantley.”
The “full potential of Tebow.” You mean there’s more? I’m thinking Old Testament instances where prophets were warned not look directly at the full Glory of God as he passed by for fear they would be incinerated on the spot.
by JD4AU on Apr 6, 2009 12:34 PM EDT reply actions
Did he throw that from the 50? I think so, and if that’s correct, please tell me how 50 + 10 = 65. Please.
/edjukated
by Domer Guy on Apr 6, 2009 2:08 PM EDT reply actions
JPW gladly bestows his title to JC as the “QB Most Likely to _____his team and _______ the game away without any help.” You can feel free to fil in the blanks.
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Apr 6, 2009 4:10 PM EDT reply actions
fill dammit. You see,even talking about FAIL! is contagious…
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Apr 6, 2009 4:10 PM EDT reply actions
What’s the right joke here: Crompton on the rag is “The Bloody Johnny” or Crompton with a yeast infection is “Crompton with cheese”?
by Pirate George on Apr 9, 2009 12:04 AM EDT reply actions
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