Get those hips down son! It is bad form, but it's spring.
And no, Brandon Spikes did not pin 288 pound freshman lineman Nick Alajajian against a wall by his neck for loafing. Though it makes us kind of blush-y and weak in the knees just to think about him doing this.
HOOOOWEEEEE RAKROOTIN' FAIGHT. Bobbie Massie, Alabama, and what Nick Saban allegedly said to the lineman when he told him he was going to Ole Miss instead of Alabama. For extra gravy, enjoy the archived Finebaum show from yesterday, featuring use of the word "articulate" in reference to a black dude.
The good Senator brings us the tale of UW players purchasing scooters using some of their athletic scholarship money. As someone who misspent portions of an academic scholarship in grotesque fashion, we have no problem with this whatsoever. (We still have that complete set of Illuminati cards, so it wasn't all a total waste.)
In contrary news: Auburn kicker Jonathan Brooks has improved his kicking by using a cheap-as-shit pair of thirty dollar banana yellow clodhoppers. Why? "Because I don't have a lot of money right now." Bobby Lowder will get you a new pair, son, just as soon as he gets a bit more..um..."liquid."
Corp Corp., stock up. Aaron Corp is the early darling to be the USC starter at qb, and thus has an inside track on the 2011 Stiff-Arm Trophy of Dubious Relevance.