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Around SBN: Jim Irsay: We Can Make It Work With Peyton Manning

BECAUSE YOU NEED MORE HORROR IN YOUR LIFE

It's a comfortable existence for the most part. You go through a sanitized little belt-track, performing rote tasks and having various forms of nutrition placed in your mouth, caffeine applied, smooth music of your preference piped into your bubble, hearing nothing you don't want to hear, seeing nothing you don't want to see...

turn-in-your-mancard

...until one fine day, the system breaks down, and you're thrown face first into a picture of a man with bear prints with the University of Tennessee logo tattooed on his corpsewhite flesh. And then you start praying to a god, any god, to make it just go away, whatever god will do the trick, just make...it...go...

The panic...the vomit...

(Don't thank us--thank Jamey.)

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Before I saw this, I was fitter, happier, and more productive.

by gosouthgohard on Apr 2, 2009 4:25 PM EDT reply actions  

I’ll take “Really Disgusting Pictures of Tattoos” for $1000, Alex.

by hobeg8r on Apr 2, 2009 4:25 PM EDT reply actions  

I can’t believe Pat Summitt allowed such a revealing picture of herself to be taken! (Just wanted to be the first). Question is, I wonder if Bruce Pearl was the photographer. (ok, I’m done)

by Claws on Apr 2, 2009 4:27 PM EDT reply actions  

Here’s my response to that: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWTdbPjsBSs

by BurritoBrosShits on Apr 2, 2009 4:30 PM EDT reply actions  

Nice tuck job, Buffalo Bill.

by OPS on Apr 2, 2009 4:31 PM EDT reply actions  

So, Joe Theismann has a brother named Harry, who’s a Vol. …something every day.

alternately,

I was going to make a crack about Holly getting ready for swimsuit season, but I thought I better not.

by hlh on Apr 2, 2009 4:31 PM EDT reply actions  

Just for that Orson, you have to look at this.

by Brian O'Blivion on Apr 2, 2009 4:35 PM EDT reply actions  

@7

B O’ B, let me guess….Craigslist? w4m?

by hlh on Apr 2, 2009 4:40 PM EDT reply actions  

The lyric “half bear other half cat” has a dark new meaning for me now. Wonder if he has kitty paws somewhere. IF indeed, it is a man.

by GatorAM on Apr 2, 2009 4:41 PM EDT reply actions  

ops – there’s no guarantee that’s a man.

Stopping an execution to pull the wings off a fly Dept: Why bear prints?

by ohiodawg on Apr 2, 2009 4:42 PM EDT reply actions  

@8 CL hasn’t provided a category for that.

by Brian O'Blivion on Apr 2, 2009 4:43 PM EDT reply actions  

@9

Coach O don’t go halfhearted, son. 110%.

by hlh on Apr 2, 2009 4:45 PM EDT reply actions  

Maybe it’s SMOKEY THE BEAR. Ever think of that, college boy?

by Holly on Apr 2, 2009 4:59 PM EDT reply actions  

Eyes, eyes, goggles, nothing.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

by Vandy J on Apr 2, 2009 5:11 PM EDT reply actions  

ahem Smokey Bear ahem

by hlh on Apr 2, 2009 5:13 PM EDT reply actions  

I was trying to figure out the whole “why bear prints?” issue too. The only thing I could come up with is that this person is not a Vol at all, it’s a Bama fan’s symbolic tribute to a storied rivalry and a dead coach from before our time…I forget the coach’s name but it had to do with Grizzlies or something.

Or maybe the guy’s just a complete retard. Judging by tattoo placement alone, I’m going with option B.

by Joe Tereshinski IV on Apr 2, 2009 5:14 PM EDT reply actions  

Those are my girlfriends legs. We don’t like ’em “Half-bear the other half cat” for nothing.

by Oskie on Apr 2, 2009 5:17 PM EDT reply actions  

BUBBLE BREACH! BUBBLE BREACH!!

by NativeSon on Apr 2, 2009 5:17 PM EDT reply actions  

On a happier note, I saw them installing the new video board in the north end of the stadium as I walked to campus today. That thing is freaking massive!

by KYGator on Apr 2, 2009 5:20 PM EDT reply actions  

I’m surprised nobody’s noticed the placement of these paws. Let your imagination soar. What we have here is Tennessee Ursaphillia. Sick bastards.

by hlh on Apr 2, 2009 5:25 PM EDT reply actions  

Is that the chili-eating fat guy from One Crazy Summer?

by EZ on Apr 2, 2009 5:53 PM EDT reply actions  

Looking at the bottom portion of that tattoo, helps me understand why Paul McCartney got a divorce.

by hlh on Apr 2, 2009 6:00 PM EDT reply actions  

Smokey the bear? Yeah, that was too many degrees of separation for me. Dang Holly and her local knowledge…or Knoxledge if you will.

by Joe Tereshinski IV on Apr 2, 2009 6:04 PM EDT reply actions  

Rumor has it that coach O was seen around the K-ville zoo. Trench coat, 3-day stubble and a pint of Sue Bee in his pocket.

by hlh on Apr 2, 2009 6:07 PM EDT reply actions  

I used to think fraternity hazing was OK since they only did it to fratboys but this is an outrage. Its time to stop the madness. Or at least stop showing photos like that.

by Andy on Apr 2, 2009 6:39 PM EDT reply actions  

Sadly Joe Tereshinski IV, you had to get your big break on a Bama fan’s lap…

When’s the next Blackout?

by Star Jackson on Apr 2, 2009 6:50 PM EDT reply actions  

Or even worse, a Vol’s lap…

by Star Jackson on Apr 2, 2009 6:53 PM EDT reply actions  

Consider a past-due invoice for Cheesecake, I guess…

by Indy Transplant on Apr 2, 2009 9:17 PM EDT reply actions  

Gotta love Bama fans… win the SEC West for the first time in a decade and beat Georgia for the first time in the last 5 games and all of a sudden they own the world.

Cheers to you, Star.

by UGA X from the NOI on Apr 2, 2009 10:06 PM EDT reply actions  

Like the tracks of bigfoot – these only grow larger as the sun warms them. They’re heading for
Panama City, where Vol-sasquatch likes to spend spring-break mating with Auburn War-tiger-eagles
and sun-burned Elephants.

by Three Days of Orange on Apr 3, 2009 12:33 AM EDT reply actions  

Well, I guess you could say that is a man, but for a man, he’s got some serious birthin’ hips. He probably is set up to have at least 9-10 kids, probably have a reality show if’n he wants to.

by justanotherbuckeye on Apr 3, 2009 7:01 AM EDT reply actions  

does anyone think it’s a little redundant that the guy’s shorts are rolled up to his crotch.

you just know that, if allowed to hang to their full length, those shorts would still never come close to covering the tatoos

by CincySooner on Apr 3, 2009 8:10 AM EDT reply actions  

We had to look at that. What about the guy or girl that had to actually tattoo it? Hopefully the artist got hazard pay.

by www.southbendblarney.com on Apr 3, 2009 9:11 AM EDT reply actions  

No one else thinks this is in reference to the fabled Claw-fence?

As a Bama fan, I myself have a tattoo from the Shula era of “Darby up the middle”

by Geoff on Apr 3, 2009 9:37 AM EDT reply actions  

The tats are clearly placed to appear just below the hem of the man’s quad-revealing patagonia shorts.

by Beef on Apr 3, 2009 11:04 AM EDT reply actions  

Please Lord, tell me these photos are from an autopsy and there is an amusing story behind this things death involving the Knoxville Zoo/Tattoo Parlor and some midgets.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Apr 3, 2009 1:10 PM EDT reply actions  

good god mom, I thought Dad got rid of all those revealing photos

by WarChiziken on Apr 4, 2009 3:11 AM EDT reply actions  

I know all there is to know about the crying game…
I’ve had my share
of the crying game

Don’t know what’s creepier, the tattoos themselves or the effete leg position and the cock tuck.

by Irwin Fletcher on Apr 4, 2009 12:17 PM EDT reply actions  

For those of who who actually looked at this long enough to even know what it is, let alone notice specific details, I only ask: What the hell is wrong with you?

by Pants McPants on Apr 6, 2009 11:43 AM EDT reply actions  

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