BLATANT SHAMELESS PANDERING GIMMEH

by Orson on Mar 31, 2009 4:17 PM EDT

You know what's sexy about Vanderbilt? The teams they play, according to this video. We would care about the lackluster narration, the slow pacing, and the choice of a rather obvious theme track, but we apologize: the instant Knowshon Moreno leaves the ground, we lost all rationality and starting tasting the sweet blood of football in our mouths. We'll wait for you football wearing whatever you like. Just keep sending us the occasional bits of footage set to dramatic music, and we'll be your sports Penelope forever. When you come back it will be worth all the lonely. [/takes final sips from Nyquil bottle, totters off to pharmacy.] (HT: The Wiz.)

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Hello my name is Jonathan and I’m an addict.

by Jonathan on Mar 31, 2009 4:32 PM EDT reply actions

Damn you Fall! Why the fuck can’t you get here faster before we all lose our collective will to live. /soon to use diploma as tinder in shanytown

by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 31, 2009 4:33 PM EDT reply actions

(Stupid Tab Key)

MUST. GET. FIX.

Ahh, that should las… need more football

by Jonathan on Mar 31, 2009 4:33 PM EDT reply actions

http://www.bustedcoverage.com/?p=13095

by Mitch G on Mar 31, 2009 4:35 PM EDT reply actions

That video claimed 20 National Championships…how is that possible when Alabama has like 30?

by TAFKastOSUB on Mar 31, 2009 4:37 PM EDT reply actions

That video = EPIC WIN

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 31, 2009 4:50 PM EDT reply actions

@5 They didn’t want the Big Ten to feel bad, so they didn’t count them all.

by Kyrana on Mar 31, 2009 4:50 PM EDT reply actions

MY BONER HASNT SUBSIDED YET

by SECSPEED on Mar 31, 2009 5:04 PM EDT reply actions

Gahh… right now videos like that are all I have to help me ward off the shakes.

by SC_Gator on Mar 31, 2009 5:08 PM EDT reply actions

It said OVER 20 national championships. VOILA!

“THIS IS THE BIG TEN” runs on a 28K dial-up.

The offseason, with the exceptions of Orson’s daily creations and Holly’s weekly corrections, blows goats, owls, millipedes and Tony Barnhart. Not necessarily in that order.

by Counter Trap on Mar 31, 2009 5:14 PM EDT reply actions

Addiction. I has it.

by VandyDore04 on Mar 31, 2009 5:28 PM EDT reply actions

Nyquil? Is Marco ghostwriting this?

by gozer on Mar 31, 2009 5:42 PM EDT reply actions

I always hate football during the off season. Videos like this confirm the hate. Actual football is the only antidote to my off season hate. BTW the SEC is pompous and ridiculous. What is the intended audience for this video? It cant possibly just be YouTube. Knowshon Moreno has herpes.

by Brian on Mar 31, 2009 5:55 PM EDT reply actions

::Falls to the ground, shakes and foams at the mouth::

by LSUKevin on Mar 31, 2009 5:59 PM EDT reply actions

How the hell can anyone leave the Prothro-over-the-defender’s-helmet-TD-catch out of an SEC highlight reel?!

by The Agent on Mar 31, 2009 6:09 PM EDT reply actions

Curse you, intervening months till August!

BTW, did anyone else feel that they really wanted Sam Elliot for the voiceover, but he was unavailable?

by Techie on Mar 31, 2009 6:51 PM EDT reply actions

Actually, Techie, Elliot considered it, but couldn’t figure out a way to get the words “banquet beer” (delivered in his unique gravelly baritone, of course) into the script.

No deal.

by Papa Lou BSU on Mar 31, 2009 8:40 PM EDT reply actions

A thing of beauty, but it is ironic that they had UCLA-Tennessee clips in which a team from God’s Conference lost to those pretty boys from the Pac 10.

by John on Mar 31, 2009 10:33 PM EDT reply actions

Nice video to tide everyone over til this fall.

by SEC Live News on Mar 31, 2009 11:59 PM EDT reply actions

I just wish that when the text “The Scores” came up on the screen that the AU-MSU 2008 scoreboard followed.

by NewAZTiger on Apr 1, 2009 1:01 AM EDT reply actions

So what? Haven’t you heard this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEADj9RlmVY

by Keosahawkeye on Apr 1, 2009 1:57 AM EDT reply actions

The SEC: Where the Sun Belt Conference plays…often

by Lawrence on Apr 1, 2009 3:38 AM EDT reply actions

I think they need a shot of the Daves or uncle Verne in order to really make it the SEC.

by what the hell are they doing to toomer's corner? on Apr 1, 2009 3:46 AM EDT reply actions

Narrator: “The seconds of a game winning pass…..they’re gone forever….and at the Men’s Warehouse, you’ll like the way you look….I guarantee it”

by Geoff on Apr 1, 2009 8:48 AM EDT reply actions

Seriously, you SEC fans liked that video? Seems the best conference in America should have something a little less milquetoast. All I can say is I fully expected a creed song to follow the pseudo-hip-hop track.

by justanotherbuckeye on Apr 1, 2009 12:16 PM EDT reply actions