EDWARD BRITTON GOES TO SCHOOL (ON THE FIFTY)

Who knows what Edward Britton did: improperly handled a yardarm, cut a doubloon too skinny for the cap'n's liking, or perhaps dipped his wick into another swabby's wench's personal pitch-bucket...the list of potential violations of the pirate code is a lengthy one.

Fortunately, we don't have to guess wildly: Britton, the number one receiver on Texas Tech's depth chart with the departure of Michael Crabtree, was not holding up his end of the student/athlete bargain with his scholarship providers at Texas Tech. The student part, mostly. Therefore, Leach forbade him to practice on Friday and took the already demoted Britton and made him study on the fifty yard line for an hour and a half after practice in thirty degree weather.

Leach even had a desk brought out onto the double T at the fifty for Britton thus confirming that Leach is kind of an asshole when he wants to be, albeit in a cheeky, ninja professor kind of way. (Anyone who'll ring up fifty frequently on opponents has to be, but add this to the pile of complimentary evidence.) All this for sacrificing his sure academic footing for an easy thrill [/henriducard'd].

"Ed didn’t like showing up and studying at places I felt like he needed to and like the academic people asked him to, so he can go study out there on the 50-yard line," Leach said. "We’ll take baby steps, and if he does good studying out there, we’ll decide if we’re going to actually let him practice."

Britton did make it through the entire 90 minutes, thus doubling the amount of time we actually spent studying in college. We congratulate him on this accomplishment, and on Mike Leach for confirming that he is secretly Ras-Al-Goul, and trains his quarterbacks to throw to not five men, but to five hundred, and to become more than a man in the eyes of their opponent. (HT: Dan.)

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