SPRING Q&A: RAPPIN' WITH DAN HAWKINS
by Orson on Mar 26, 2009 1:21 PM EDT
13 comments
Dan Hawkins was kind enough to take time from his busy schedule to join us today. He was a few minutes late, but he had his reasons.
Q: Is that your horse, coach?
A: What horse? I don't see a horse. I don't see people, either. Just energies.
Q: What's that horse's name?
A: That's Victoryballs, my prize steed. Never rode him before today.
Q: I see. Are you going to back away from your promise to win ten games this year despite the long climb up from the bottom of the Big 12 North? That's quite a bar to set in a tough division.
A: No. We're going to win ten games. You need high standards. You need that bar. You want your players thinking about big things. You mind if I pick these up? I need to show you what I'm talking about.
Q: No, go ahead. Is that olive oil?
A: (Grunts.) Nope. Canola. It's a better sheen on the whole. Reflects the light better. I'm going to stand here for three hours just to show everyone what I'm talking about by championship dedication. Just holding these.
(2 minutes pass.)
Q: It hasn't been three hours, has it?
A: Time's relative. In another quantum reality where three hours equals two minutes, you bet your ass that was three hours.
Q: That makes no sense. Why are you playing Toledo instead of Miami? Are you ducking the Redhawks?
A: No, we're not ducking the Redhawks. It just wasn't in the stars, man, and it's not often you get to take your kids to a place as exotic and historical as Spain. Mind if I get comfortable? I'm kinda worn out here.
Q: No, go right ahead. Is that Jameson's? Are you feeling the pressure of the job, Coach Hawk? Are you okay?
A: MAGIC! THAT'S HOW WE'RE GONNA DO IT! Do you wanna wrestle? DO YOU?
At this point the interview ended. We'd like to thank Coach Hawkins for his time.
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Quite possibly my favorite EDSBS column ever.
by Irving Washington on Mar 26, 2009 1:30 PM EDT reply actions
in all fairness, it’s Miami backing out of that game to play Kentucky in Cincy, but still, fair representation of Hawk right there.
by Doug E Fresh on Mar 26, 2009 1:35 PM EDT reply actions
Big Red driving a hauler — wonderful. I imagine he’s all hopped up on pep pills, too.
by Whohah on Mar 26, 2009 1:40 PM EDT reply actions
“Rappin’ with Dan Hawkins” has a much better ring to it than it’s predecessor, “Rapin’ with Gary Barnett.”
by Cubehead on Mar 26, 2009 2:10 PM EDT reply actions
LSUFreek sees the matrix, and the matrix is a bunch of GIF files streaming in vertical columns.
by CincySooner on Mar 26, 2009 2:13 PM EDT reply actions
I too saw Big Red go by and thought “Trucker speed for extra killing power”.
by Zach on Mar 26, 2009 2:14 PM EDT reply actions
Thank God Lil’ Red wasn’t driving. That would be truly spooky.
by yoyofutbawl on Mar 26, 2009 2:33 PM EDT reply actions
it’s official: my future first born child’s name is changed from Barkevious to Victoryballs. I sure hope it’s a girl.
by Big Jon on Mar 26, 2009 2:37 PM EDT reply actions
ah, nothing like a good doctored chiru take.
i think there was a blog called monkeysforhelping that was pretty much dedicated to the kung-fu dopeness that is bollywood.
by jd on Mar 26, 2009 2:54 PM EDT reply actions
When we get to the Jim Leavitt Q&A, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.
by TJ on Mar 26, 2009 4:05 PM EDT reply actions
This is nothing that a little imagination and a sense of humor wouldn’t cure.
by Joe on Mar 27, 2009 1:59 PM EDT reply actions
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