GENE CHIZIK IS PRESUMABLY ATTEMPTING TO COACH

by Orson on Mar 25, 2009 10:55 AM EDT

After years of dealing with Tommy Tuberville, watching the Auburn press corps dealing with another coach is like watching a particularly inept anthropologist stumble onto a virgin tribe and do their worst in analyzing what they do. From the field with Evan Woodbery:

Gene Chizik spent a few minutes observing a special teams drill and then eased over to the sidelines to stand in front of cornerback T'Sharvan Bell.

After a few seconds that involved plenty of demonstrative hand movements and presumably some sort of teaching moment, Chizik patted Bell on the head and moved on.

WE BELIEVE HE WAS ATTEMPTING TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE FOOTBALL PLAYER. Oh, this is going to be fun, especially when it gets to the press conferences. The transcripts of the strange new dialect should end up sounding exactly like something from Rutland Community Television.

And your plan to counter Alabama's running game? Machine wrapped with butter? Machine wrapped with butter.

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Ha, I knew you were going to post something about this today, Mr. Windle, just knew it…

by Philip on Mar 25, 2009 10:58 AM EDT reply actions

Fuck, I mean “Swindle” damn this keyboard and faulty memory…

by Philip on Mar 25, 2009 11:01 AM EDT reply actions

Ah, laugh now, you cretins. There’ll be plenty of time for you to cry once the season begins.

WDE

Sullivan013

by Sullivan013 on Mar 25, 2009 11:08 AM EDT reply actions

Sullivan013 – if by crying you mean laughing so hard that you cry, yup, we’ll be crying. Just remember, you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit, and I think that all you’ve got at QB is…..

by BamaTaxMan on Mar 25, 2009 11:14 AM EDT reply actions

sully-

there will be a bunch of us laughing in ames, iowa when you guys get up by 20 on a team that you shouldnt beat (kansas) and then piddle it down your legs….

or when all you need is a touchdown from the goalline and dont get it after 4 tries (colorado). good thing you didnt take macfarland too.

or when you have 4 or 5 delay of game penalties that surely dont help your cause in a game that’ll probably be a swing game for the rest of your season (iowa).

good luck with all of that.

Grudge? I hold no grudge.

by cyclonestate on Mar 25, 2009 11:26 AM EDT reply actions

I really like the direction the Auburn program is headed. Maybe we can beat them by 30-0 instead of 36-0. That my friend, for Auburn, is progress.
Go Gator. Ride Toll Ride.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Mar 25, 2009 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

#s 4 & 6….Like you bitches scare anybody. So you blanked the sh*ttiest team on your schedule last year.

They still own you in modernity.

Signed,
The Mayor of Eutaw, AL

by Even a Crippled Hooker Gets the Occasional Lucky Swing at Her Pimp on Mar 25, 2009 12:12 PM EDT reply actions

cyclonestate, all those things happened last year with Tuberville, big deal…

by Philip on Mar 25, 2009 12:39 PM EDT reply actions

why must all things Auburn or Bama related end in such childish douchebaggery.

war eagle and such.

by suicidewatch on Mar 25, 2009 1:23 PM EDT reply actions

uh, Saban?

by Johnny Eutaw on Mar 25, 2009 1:36 PM EDT reply actions

Back-to-back 10 win seasons for Saban wouldn’t be progress. It in fact would be unprecedented…

by One And Done on Mar 25, 2009 4:23 PM EDT reply actions

As an Auburn fan, I must admit to not having much faith in the Chizik hire back in December. But just as Bama fans did with Price/Shula, I’m strongly supporting the guy. I’ll add that he’s given us something to optimistic about with his personnel decisions. More so than if were merely the son of a great NFL coach.

As for even Woodberry’s writing in that article, it’s like watching a football game where the final score is 3-2 .

by sevenDs on Mar 25, 2009 4:44 PM EDT reply actions

Gene Chizik touches players.

Got it.

by Counter Trap on Mar 25, 2009 4:59 PM EDT reply actions

Is there anyway we could get Corrine Brown on the RWT show?

It’d be flabbergasted gauntlets rusting hands sentry tower groan jaundiced. Moreover, precipice kindling hammersmiths freedom. Adroitly gaunt yonder moors succintly underneath sly geese found hard hats whence drunkards dove windowpanes.

by One And Done on Mar 25, 2009 5:42 PM EDT reply actions

People should stop comparing Auburn to Iowa St. I think to evaluate Iowa St performance last year is somewhat unfair to Chizik. How many players that he recruited actually started the last two years? I know he played a lot of freshman but that just says a lot about the talent existing in Aimes at that point. Chizik inherits some talent and a great coaching staff, I am not talking huge but Auburn should have a 7 or 8 win season next year (probably 7). War Eagle…

by Mathew on Mar 25, 2009 6:16 PM EDT reply actions

and in other Auburn corching news, Pepper may have a new friend in South Bend…
http://notredame.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=928352

by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker on Mar 25, 2009 7:17 PM EDT reply actions

ECHGOLSHP:

Only if you have a 14yr old’s definition of “modernity.”

by PeterPumpkinhead on Mar 25, 2009 8:22 PM EDT reply actions

Peter Pumpin Head:

Here’s your flowchart.

1. Is ‘he’ still alive?
No – Go to 2
Yes – Purchase Daniel Moore print, Go to 1

2. Is he coming back?
     No – Go to 3
     Yes – Purchase Daniel Moore print, Go to 3

3. We the last 5 the next ‘him’?
     No – Go to 4
     Yes – Purchase Daniel Moore print, Go to 4

4. Will this one be ‘him’?
No – Go to 5
Yes – Purchase Daniel Moore print, Go to 5

5. What is the record in modernity?
     Pre ‘him’ – 12 -9-1
     ‘him’ era – 6-19
     Post ‘him’ – 15-11

Notice a pattern?

As the joke goes…What do a maggot and a Bama fan have in common? They can both live off a dead bear for years.

Saban ALMOST went undefeated. BTW, AU fired the last coach that accomplished that.

PS Oooooooohhhh, you called me a 14yo.

by Greatest Snow on Earth on Mar 26, 2009 2:03 PM EDT reply actions