Comments on: FOOTBALL NAMES THAT SHOULD EXIST

By: D'Jango

D'Jango — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:16:57 +0000

#18 – I never thought someone would name their kid after the band in “Saved by the Bell.” My first kid will be “Hot Sundae”

By: WarChiziken

WarChiziken — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 12:03:00 +0000

although I certainly favor the Southern flavored “Shed McRabbity” or the simplicity of “Tai’rant”, I cannot help but encourage some potential college player to get ahead of the curve and change his name to “Tee Urdwrestler” or just “Tee Urd” if typing/penmanship is a problem

After reading extended wordplay like this it makes me imagine that TCOAN has a very satisfying sex life with a partner who is so thorough and patient with the delivery. Bravo!!

By: SonOfBuckeye

SonOfBuckeye — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 06:32:11 +0000

Dr. Harry Beaver, MD, Obstetrics & Gynecology

http://www.healthgrades.com/directory_search/physician/profiles/dr-md-reports/Dr-Harry-Beaver-MD-FD3B8B34.cfm

(not a football name, but does actually exist)

By: shovel-pass

shovel-pass — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 03:22:04 +0000

Jarvis Redwine
I.M. Hipp

Oh wait……those were real….and possibly 2 of the greatest football names, evaa.

By: The Big Cheese

The Big Cheese — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:10:53 +0000

A real WTF? name, reminded by % Rogers. L-a. And no, it’s not “La”, because according to the child’s mother, and I quote, “It’s Ladasha, because the “dash” don’t be silent.”

By: Tim

Tim — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 17:47:01 +0000

List needs more redneck names, like Remington McTucket.

By: Ramblin' Jeff

Ramblin' Jeff — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:15:10 +0000

This reminded me of an IM conversation a buddy and I had a couple summers ago. Here’s all the audacious names we came up with, edited down. (the first few have the same last names cause we were at first discussing ridiculous shit to name our kids.)

Balzac Honey McKinley
Cinderella Yuma McKinley
Susquehanna Rolex McKinley
Laramie Jackson “Buck” Parker
Eustis O’Hara “Skip” McKinley
Rapunzel Austin “Missy” Parker
Gallahad Jauquin “Teency” McKinley
Canaan Quincy “Beef” Parker
Alejandro de Pueblo “Willy” McKinley
Dakota Abraham “Chauncy” Parker
Judson Carmichael “Chooch” McKinley
Marlow Jefferson “Geech” Parker
Landolin Sparksmore “Gabe” McKinley
Alphonse Tintin “Beauregard” Parker
Barbam Spinks “SweetTits” McGee
Johnston Paunch “CheeeEEEEEse” O’Franklinton
Julius Schwanz “Screech” Yeardley
Manitoba Kelston “Crackle” Undermore
Fillmore Solstice “Pops” Spoonthrift
Rodney Beau “Dickies” O’Houllihan
Equinox Hartford “Pasty” Dorrington
Eleanor Toffee “Spitz” Swallows
Beasely Quarantine “Sandy” Rollohendro
Brandebourg Gunstein “trick shot” Ianucci
Mandy Ripstone “Lips” Laporte
Remington Persephone “Fireball” McWhorter
Kelly Fernando “Pinkey” Scorpio (male)
Klavin Rexrold “Stink” McClure
Jupiter Heinrich “Spudz” Hernandez
Richter Mangold “Rock” Xybex
Qbert Azore “Spunk” Maxington
Bowman L’Enfant “Brooklyn” Mazario
Zorro Gumshoe “Dynamite” Ypsilante
Corey Speckleman “Toots” Scheblie
I-Perfection Xerox “Bobert” Taunston
Thomas Jefferson “Guffy” Makebarrel

By: Terry Tate, Office Linebacker

Terry Tate, Office Linebacker — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:46:41 +0000

My mother is a piano teacher and once had to introduce a brother and sister at a piano recital (at a church) whose names were Shithead and Asshole, pronounced “Shi-they-ad” and “A-sho-lay”, respectively. She jsut called them Mister and Miss and skipped that whole problem…

By: Gabe

Gabe — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:40:33 +0000

Mountain Dew Comancho

By: WhoooTex

WhoooTex — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:51:06 +0000

Dodecametrius McFadden

By: Holla McGeezy

Holla McGeezy — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:03:05 +0000

Actual name alert and future Fulmer Cup material:

Nefarious Jackson

By: Big Jon

Big Jon — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 13:47:18 +0000

I’ve heard of Bizkit Seepage Cromartie. Doesn’t he play for Neece High in Jacksonville? A speedy OLB that hits like a truck, but may have to move to corner or safety at the next level due to size. I heard he’s between UF and LSU for the class of 2011.

By: Craig

Craig — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 13:40:26 +0000

A GT player from about 7 years ago:

I-Perfection Harris

He had a sister (who ran track) named I-Supreme Harris.

By: Philip

Philip — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 13:10:10 +0000

Sentry Rollinship

Harold Highhamer

Imperius Constantine

By: Buttsplosion Nofunnery

Buttsplosion Nofunnery — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 12:40:31 +0000

Careful Barstoolio or I will introduce you to my “friend” LaDonkay PunCha