CURIOUS INDEX, 3/18/2009

Eh that’s nothing. LSU is the home of the (late) ORIGINAL Earthquake — alum and former WWF Tag Team Champion John “Earthquake” Tenta.

And someone in an earlier blog questioned why we, as Gator fans, hate FSU all-year round? A University President comes up with a hypothetical which includes how to cheat Tebow out of playing next year? A University President?

$150-$300? Jerry Jones, please know that I mean this with greatest love, but fuck you very much.

Way to beat out FIU for Da Erfquake, Urban.

A similar line once actually worked for me: “You know, this is the only boudin that ain’t got the SARS.” True story. Ask Holly.

If, after 90 minutes, Mack Brown doesn’t understand that you’ve got to win all of your games to remove all doubt, then maybe he should take his ball and go home.

College football will survive without his vote.

I love reFSU and TK and all their odd-ball, disfunctional, backward rationalizations/reasons/psychoses. It warms my heart that someone can be so out to lunch as to stand before God and everyone and spout such absolute drivel and think that a) they might agree with TK, and b) not believe TK has the mental capacity of a hatstand. They (reFSU) are spinning around like a cat with one foot nailed to the floor…and it’s only going to get better! They are appealing the NCAA! " ’At’s raht, Boys! reFSU wants tuh question whut we desahded…so now we git tuh throw in ‘dem thangs we missed th’ furst tahm…"

A. Are we sure there are people in Arkansas with $150? Before the stammering starts: Sometimes the cheapest shots are the most effective, hoggy broke-ass loserfaces (now my favorite EDSBS phrase).

B. Dr. Wetherell has a bright future ahead as AIG spokesperson or experimental schizophrenia drug subject. BIG, nay HUGE bucks either way.

Tebow, Bradford, McCoy, other?

If you’re building a team to make a 2009 MNC run, which QB do you go with?

Debate here: http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/football/ncaa_blog/2009/03/who_is_your_goto_qb.html

Sir —

I regret only that the Economist — fresh off its expose of lard-choked West Virginia children — was not there to cover the FSU presser.

Best, etc.
DG

Oh, I left out the obvious: Freek, whatever we pay you it obviously is not enough.

NCAA: Our penalties have been rendered based on the evidence provided.

TK: But, but, but, did you not UNDERSTAND us the first time when we told you WE DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE CHEATING??!? I SAID it’s not FAIR!! We STRENUOUSLY object.

NCAA: Oh, you STRENUOUSLY object? Well if you strenuously object then we should take some time to reconsider.

Best evidence that FSU lacks institutional control is that it doesn’t ban Jen Sterger from sitting in the front row and giving everybody Sars.

I think T.K. is just referring to the Gambia’s president’s precedent of imprisoning, torturing and force-feeding hallucinogens to supposed witches, or he’s a victim. Either way, fund me for the summer, you motherfucker.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iF_r4jKqxlBNu6JRvsvPmb4_rmyQD970GMU00

Said redneck showed poor form. He’s supposed to grab his own nuts before assuring onlookers they were free of potentially fatal respiratory disease.

He has to be Earthquake, Jr., as the Beavers had the original Earthquake (Enyart) back in the late 60s. Big ol’ boy, a 6’5/250 FB running out of the straight T formation.

Mack should bring in the Big XII presidents and figure out their stupid tie-breaker, not worry about the BCS.

Its the conference that screwed Texas over last year.

1. Mack Brown understood the BCS and polls well enough in 2004 to politik the ‘horns way to Pasadena past Cal. I’m a closet Texas fan and I have to call bullshit on that one, Mack.

2. I guess the Big XII is making the cash grab for SEC money. Georgia fans got their ticket order forms recently and our eyes popped out of our head. T. Boone must really be hurtin’ because Georgia-Okie State tickets are $100 a pop.

I guess they don’t want to get Arizona State’d.

As a Cal fan I should reflexively want to punch Mack Brown for a move like this (or just for breathing), but you know what? The BCS is, objectively, a stupid bullshit system designed to do nothing in particular but spit out arbitrary numbers that hopefully will somewhat reflect the national hierarchy of college football. Just because Brown’s an asshole doesn’t mean he’s wrong.

Claws – unfortunately Ms. Sterger and her incredibly ugly fake bosoms have been moonlighting at USF games the last couple of years. I’m hoping we can pawn her off on some school like FIU that would gladly trade an outbreak of SARS for a little notoriety.

Once a friend got hit on by a drunk redneck at a blues bar. He staggered up, sat down next to my friend and her friend, and then grabbed some of the peanuts and said, "These are the only peanuts that ain’t got the SARS." A moment of silence passed, and then the friend looked at drunk redneck and said, "You’re done." He nodded, and skulked away without a word. *

Friend gets hit on by drunk redneck presumably walks away from said redneck and sits beside you and friend A and friend B then says to drunk redneck [from afar?] “you’re done”.

…or something.

Can we get a flowchart for this?

God, when will this myth that Brown politicked Texas into the Rose Bowl finally be laid to rest? Texas LOST 4 points in the human polls following Mack’s appeal to the voters to reconsider their votes. It wasn’t until Cal played like shit against Southern Miss the following week that Texas gained points in the human polls.

Cal then went on to get destroyed in the Holiday Bowl by Texas Tech , who Texas had easily beaten during the regular season.

After that statement of all the blessings of the UF fan, does it make any of you wonder just when the other shoe will drop. NOthing stays nice in CFB for long. Not even at USC or Notre Dame.

friend who got hit on = friend that redneck sat down next to = friend that said “you’re done”

or possibly…

friend who got hit on = friend that redneck sat down next to AND her friend = the friend that said “you’re done”

Clear as mud now right?

And another thing…T.K. as university president = more proof that God hates FSU.

21

I think you misread the story.

zz @ #25…yes, and isn’t it wonderful!

#23: No, we don’t.

Think of us as the New Age guys wearing robes and talking about positive energy, positive thinking, auras, crystals (trophies! what-what), and shit. It works even better when you imagine the rest of the SEC as various sects of evangelical, bible-fearing Christians. Ex: non-missionary sex = the spread offense. it’s a sin and will never work and that’s that.

@hodad “God, when will this myth that Brown politicked Texas into the Rose Bowl finally be laid to rest?”

What is the myth? That he campaigned or that the alleged campaigning was the ultimate reason for Texas’s ascent in the polls? I think the former is indisputable. (http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/longhorns/entries/2004/12/04/mack_campaigns_until_the_end.html)

As for the latter, I think it’s irrelevant. I think Gen. Stoopnagle’s point is essentially that Mack Brown knew what needed to happen for his team to advance well enough to lobby for it. Regardless of causality, what then happened is exactly what he asked for, and it circumstantially proved his knowledge of the system. After 5 years, he’s now irredeemably clueless? Probably not. More likely: he’s grandstanding.

^^^
…and all that positive energy just builds on itself, uh, and shit. My lesbian buddhist psychic says that with the December 21, 2012 alignment that those already going in a positive energetic direction will be so far ahead of everyone else that they may never catch up…so we’ve got that going for us! And she also said that missionary sex may be modified to include the spread, and is sometimes better that way…I’m still asking for a demonstration…

#26
Choose your answer:
 A. I’m pretty sure you’re right.
B.

T. K. Wetherell is an embarrassment to coon-ass, backwoods, redneck politicians, much less to all college presidents, including the one from the “dipstick” colleges.

And nice fark. I particularly liked the sores on the lips of the “ladies”.

A link supporting this is sadly unavailable, but Aggies and Razorbacks are splitting the ticket revenue 50/50 from the game at Jerryworld, resulting in a mid-tier-bowl-game-sized payday for both schools, handily outpacing what each would haul in for a sold out home game.

Skeletor Jones is making his cut from parking – always a favorite cash grab – and a portion of the concessions.

I wonder if Wetherell counts his years (1995-2001) as President of Tallahassee Community College towards his total years experience as president of an institute of higer education.