AWWWW. So cute when a seagull does it, so not when it’s a 200 pound linebacker doing it. Arkansas linebackr Ryan Powers engaged in illegull activity when he stole something of value in Fayetteville, Arkansas on Tuesday. Condoms? A flat-screen television? Thank you notes? Batteries for his metal detector, which has helped him lose weight and led him to countless buried treasures on the beaches of…Arkansas? There’s no telling, really, at least not until we get a detailed police report. This being Arkansas, we know that the full burden of the amateur legal community is being brought to bear on a FOIA request for this very document.

One point for Arkansas in the Fulmer Cup standings, building on the point total amassed by Ryan Mallett, who will be up at 6 in the morning and in bed by 11 p.m. according to Bobby Petrino thank to his public intox arrest. (Early bird specials, Ryan. They’re a lifesaver.)