CURIOUS INDEX, 3/11/09
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Tennessee's started. Kiffykins is leashed. Tennessee's spring practices have started, and the only person on the depth chart with a spot is Eric Berry. (Who says Monte Kiffin is the "Google of defense.") So...nothing's changed, really, aside from tempo, style, the pre-game donut orgy, and the head coach being tethered to a jungle gym during most of the practice.
Oh, and that's just not something he would say. Of course not! Don't laugh at Mule Day. Columbia comes strong with the mule-related festivities. Just look at that festivity there! Malcontents named Orson. Georgia commit Orson Charles says Florida's recruiting effort was "horrible." Charles also changed his number from Terrell Owens' 81 to seven because... But when he transferred to Plant his senior year, he switched to No. 7, because "God created the earth in six days, and rested on the seventh," Charles said. He also had the best season of his life, catching 75 passes for 1,421 yards and 21 touchdowns. Good luck, other Orson. 17 kicks blocked. From the Feldblog: Boise State freshman DT Michael Atkinson blocked 17 kicks in his final two high school seasons. That was playing in Canada though, where people were either too polite to block him or gave him additional chances due to nice punts earning 4.5 points in wacky-ass Canadian football. Because NFL scouts and evaluators are always right. By the numbers, both David Greene and D.J. Shockley outperformed Matt Stafford at the college level but HIM BIG HEAPEM QB FROW HRD FRST ROUND. Even if Stafford is a complete bust, he will have hornswaggled another NFL owner out of a huge signing bonus at the behest of scouts, and that is always a victory in our world. Get money, King Keg-cellent. |
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“That’s just not something I would say”? I love how Kiffykins will level accusations at other coaches that get him admonished by the SEC, but “You’re gonna pump my gas someday” is somehow beyond the pale with respect to his personal code of trash-talking ethics.
by Doug on Mar 11, 2009 10:29 AM EDT reply actions
I now have a #2 favorite after Charlie Weis / PieMatrix. Thank you for the voodoo that you do so well, LSUfreek.
re: Orson
best comment so far: “At least Orson got to touch a BCS trophy once in his life. He’ll never be that close again.”
by NativeSon on Mar 11, 2009 10:29 AM EDT reply actions
I’m sure Kiffin said Jeffrey would be a fry tech at McDonald’s.
Ironically, gasoline lies more prominently in Kitty’s future when Crompton throws four picks against WKU September 5 and afterward the angry mob shows up at stately Kiffin manor with five gallon cans of the stuff and a few matches.
by Counter Trap on Mar 11, 2009 10:43 AM EDT reply actions
By Eric Berry’s logic, does that make Dennis Erickson’s Miami teams “the Google of cocaine and sex”?
by King Cockfight on Mar 11, 2009 10:54 AM EDT reply actions
For LSUFreek, Kiffin to UT was a Godsend. And now as an audience, we are reaping the benefits as well.
by Jesus on Mar 11, 2009 11:02 AM EDT reply actions
Kiffy’s comments remind me of when George Bush Sr. went to the grocery store in 1992…….are there any full service gas stations still around? The kid may bag groceries, or use a squeegie for tips….but pump gas….nah….
At least the Ole’ Head Ball Coach was funny when he popped off….Kiffy just sounds stooopid…..
by Stan Gable on Mar 11, 2009 11:11 AM EDT reply actions
And now there’s coffee on my keyboard. That animation is my new favorite thing in life.
by TJ on Mar 11, 2009 11:26 AM EDT reply actions
So if Stafford is a bust, following in the wake of JaMarcus Russell and Rex Grossman (who was mediocre post-Spurrier) will NFL scouts finally stop slobbering all over mediocre college quarterbacks with OMG ROCKET CANNON ARMS!
by TJ on Mar 11, 2009 11:30 AM EDT reply actions
I think drexyl’s hitting on something there. Russell was successful in sheddng himself of Lane Kiffin, and that was probably the first step in his diabolical ent/human plan to control the universe.
And I noticed on the Stafford analysis that there’s one problem. In 2008 Stafford had, statistically speaking, the best season by a Georgia quarterback under Mark Richt. So, if you want to say that true freshman Matt Stafford in 2006 sucked, I think all of Sanford Stadium would agree with you. But 2008 Matt Stafford was a whole different guy, and will probably be paid accordingly.
by MaconDawg on Mar 11, 2009 11:43 AM EDT reply actions
Cock fans are wanting Spurrier to hang 17 on the Vols this year as payback.
by etsuVol on Mar 11, 2009 11:44 AM EDT reply actions
Galdurnit, if I were drinking milk, it would be coming out of my nose because of that little animation.
and also, there are still gas stations where they pump your gas for ya in iowa. theyre called "Sinclair"ses. I believe they might give ya the ol squeegy-down too.
by cyclonestate on Mar 11, 2009 11:48 AM EDT reply actions
FYI there are two states, NJ and Oregon, where gas is pumped by attendants. Self serve is not available. Another in the file of trivial, non-income producing information.
by Crabapple Buck on Mar 11, 2009 12:06 PM EDT reply actions
I had a friend tell me after a trip to the West Coast that it’s law in Oregon or Washington that gas stations have attendents…
by etsuVol on Mar 11, 2009 12:06 PM EDT reply actions
What blows my mind is that even with attendants pumping your gas in New Jersey they still have some of the cheapest gas prices in the country.
by JIMatUA on Mar 11, 2009 12:20 PM EDT reply actions
#17
The same is true here in NYC and New Jersey. It is highly inefficient and makes the fuel more expensive, but it gives the state a way to employ ex-cons.
by Laugh on Mar 11, 2009 12:21 PM EDT reply actions
Just think, this is Freek’s off-season work. Imagine what he’ll do when Meyer and Saban take little Kiffykins behind the woodshed.
by Running Joe Rides Again on Mar 11, 2009 12:37 PM EDT reply actions
I wish Stafford all the best, and I know he and his grandchildren will enjoy the million$ that he is sure to make with his signing bonus. But. Stafford has all the physical tools but he lacks accuracy, which, ultimately, is all that matters. It matters not that you can throw the ball hard enough to rip through a side of beef unless you can hit the side of beef. While I concur that 2008 Stafford was much-improved over previous versions, the difference was due more to A.J. Green’s ability to go-up-and-get Stafford’s consistently high passes than any quantum leap in Stafford’s ability. As almost everyone here has pointed out, Jamarcus Russell is proof positive that arm strength alone ain’t a gurantee of NFL success.
by Double Dawg Dare Ya on Mar 11, 2009 12:50 PM EDT reply actions
My only fear , not so much that Lane Kiffin reads this site(he does),is of him sending a shirtless Coach O to kill us all………(he has been known to wear a hedge ghillie suit when recruiting in Georgia, may have a desk ghillie suit also, so if you see something new in your office like a odd looking desk, or an oddly shaped car in your parking garage, or a new set of bushes outside your home making grunting noises, you may want to run.)
Remember, a uncensored Lane Kiffin is good for the SEC,the NCAA and good for America.
I can only pray he gets the full 3 yrs.
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Mar 11, 2009 1:19 PM EDT reply actions
Who is Andrea Adelson and why is anyone paying her to write?
by Vol on Mar 11, 2009 1:19 PM EDT reply actions
off topic, but what are the odds it had something to do with an iron bowl discussion?
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=7055006&page=1
story is tragic, but the reality of what the reasoning may be is likely even more tragic…
by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker on Mar 11, 2009 1:34 PM EDT reply actions
I’ll see your “I went to UGA cause I can talk to Coach about God and honor him with my jersey number” and raise you a “Nicest coach that recruited me was Urban Meyer. He is just a cool guy. We did a lot of talking.”
by zzgator on Mar 11, 2009 2:16 PM EDT reply actions
oh yeah- and best Freek show ever…
by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker on Mar 11, 2009 2:27 PM EDT reply actions
Who is Matt Stafford, and why is Kyle Boller being drafted again?
by Rockytop85 on Mar 11, 2009 4:27 PM EDT reply actions
I still love you, kiffykins. Buck up.
BTW, full service gas stations totally piss me off. I can pump alot by myself, and gas is one of them, thank you very much.
by meatybob on Mar 11, 2009 4:48 PM EDT reply actions
Re: the requirement of full-service gas attendants…as I recall it has something to do with liability, insurance, and letting “rank amateurs” pump their own.
So let me get this straight…does this imply that one is TRAINED to pump gas properly?!?!
by the ex-croominator on Mar 11, 2009 5:16 PM EDT reply actions
So, what is the more coveted asset:
1.) An Elway-esque NFL arm
or
2.) A Diggler-sized cock?
Thoughts?
by www.southbendblarney.com on Mar 11, 2009 5:46 PM EDT reply actions
@ 30; If you have #1 you won’t need #2. A good friend was caught coming naked out of the shower by a local cleaning lady at a hotel down in Grenada & I witnessed the following exchange:
Her: Mon, who you tink you kin pleasure wit dat lil ting?
Him (without pause): ME!
by El Andy on Mar 11, 2009 6:14 PM EDT reply actions
@30
I’d go with the Elway arm. You can make alot more in the NFL. The other will bring you to weird meetings with guys in robes with some Chinaman walking around setting off firecrackers indoors, and getting shot at during coke deals due to your paranoid partner freaking out.
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Mar 11, 2009 7:53 PM EDT reply actions
#31
Along that line, their is a website called F#$k My Life, or FML for short. People submit their stories such as this one, and end it with the tagline “FML”:
“After having sex with my new girlfriend, she asked me if I ever get made fun in the locker room for having such a small penis. FML!”
or
“I once caught my sister masturbating to what I thought was a loud vibrator, turned out it was my electric toothbrush. FML!”
or
“What I used for a ear and nose trimmer in my bathroom drawer for the past 2 yrs turned out
to be my dad pubic hair trimmer.FML!”
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Mar 11, 2009 7:59 PM EDT reply actions
@32
Totally agree. Besides you never know what kind of stuff can leak from said cock if you dip into a bad batch of “cookies”.
Maybe I’m just being a paranoid UGA homer. But everyone in the press is shitting on Stafford’s and Moreno’s prospects something fierce. Some of the arguments are legit (I believe that Stafford could have used another year, and Knowshon ain’t that fast) but the venom is much fiercer than normal. My guess: the writers are pissed that UGA didn’t pan out at #1. It’s not like we’re the first and we won’t be the last. So GET OVER IT!!!! Where was this hatred before the great evil known as Ryan Leaf was unleashed? We could have used a heads up on that one!!! If Stafford fucks up, he will only destroy the Lions, which with all due respect to Barry Sanders and Calvin Johnson, is not that big of a deal.
by BuddyColtrane on Mar 11, 2009 9:13 PM EDT reply actions
I think every one is, somehow, completely forgetting the stages of development. Stafford just finished his 3rd year of college. Anyone remember what Shockley looked like in his 3rd year on campus? A freakin deer in the headlights.
You can’t compare what a 5th year senior is doing at QB and a 3rd year junior (unless Sam Bradford is around : ).
by NMS on Mar 12, 2009 2:23 AM EDT reply actions

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