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Around SBN: Kentucky Football: Tee Martin Reportedly Leaving for USC

KIFFYKINS STRIKES AGAIN, AGAIN

Kiffykins rides again!

It's now a running bet that he has a whole stack of Archie comics under his bed, and that he'd beat off any number of men to protect them.

UPDATE: Ole Miss has a correction in the Fulmer Cup. Jamar Hornsby, as noted in the updated Fulmer Cup post below, was not enrolled and will not earn Ole Miss any points. Andre Sterling, however, was very much enrolled at Ole Miss for football, and very much drunk when he was arrested last weekend for DUI. That's a point correction to two points total for Ole Miss. GIGGITAH.

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Given what website I’m on, I’m supremely terrified to click on a link of the words “beat off any number of men.”

by TJ on Mar 9, 2009 5:10 PM EDT reply actions  

You know, it’s no longer simply an assured feeling that Bama and Florida are going to curb stomp Kiffykins and the Vawls into oblivion come the fall; I’m genuinely fearing for this man’s soul. You don’t stir up something with the Baron of Darkness, much less the Prince himself in Tuscaloosa. We’re talking an eternity of torment here, Lane.

by poguemahone on Mar 9, 2009 5:20 PM EDT reply actions  

I didn’t know that Gollum was a Volunteer…..

by Roaminggator on Mar 9, 2009 5:23 PM EDT reply actions  

Hornsby put a brass-knuckle-beat-down on someone for a felony assault charge. Somebody better get some damn Fulmer points — I don’t care if it’s EMCC.

http://djournal.com/pages/story.asp?ID=286908&pub=1&div=Sports

by Daniel on Mar 9, 2009 5:24 PM EDT reply actions  

Another update from the other thread, Florida now has zero points, thanks to the charge against Carl Johnson being dropped and no girlfriend daterapethingy charges either.

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 9, 2009 5:24 PM EDT reply actions  

Wow. Maurice “Pound-o-ghanj” Langston also played for EMCC. Who knew Scooba was such a hotbed of vice.

by jakldawg on Mar 9, 2009 5:55 PM EDT reply actions  

I had no idea a hole so deep could be dug so quickly. Now it really is entertainment!

Wow. Again.

by NativeSon on Mar 9, 2009 6:17 PM EDT reply actions  

Just another step towards Jamar The Innocent’s domination of SEC receivers.

by JimHalpert on Mar 9, 2009 6:37 PM EDT reply actions  

Hornsby’s not enrolled??? What… is he planning to just show up for the first game this fall?

And before some smartass points out that he’s enrolled at the other school and has to transfer, blah, blah, blah, let me just say this: Shit or get off the pot, son! If you were planning on returning to the SEC this season, you should have never registered for spring classes at EMCC.

by Sue E. Pig on Mar 9, 2009 6:43 PM EDT reply actions  

That may be the best YouTube video… EVER!

by WarDamnEagle on Mar 9, 2009 6:53 PM EDT reply actions  

I dont care how old this is, you know this is totally happening right now:

1 Yr Ago:
  
                   
Police Chief in Florida: And seein’ as how you never use live ammo,we got no choice but to return you to society.

Coach Nutt: These doors are gonna swing wide! GIGGITY!

Jamar:l didn’t wanna hurt anyone, sir.

Police Chief: Jamar, we respect that.

Coach Nutt: But you’re just hurting yourself with this rambunctious behavior.

Jamar: l know that, sir.

Coach Nutt: OK, then!

NOW:

Coach Nutt: They’ve got a name for people like you Jamar! That name is called “recidivism.”
 
Police Chief in Starkvegas: Repeat offender!

Coach Nutt: Not a pretty name, is it Jamar?

Jamar: No, sir. That’s one bonehead name, but that ain’t me any more.

Coach Nutt: You’re not just telling us what we want to hear?

Jamar.: No, sir, no way.

Police Chief: ’Cause we just want to hear the truth.

Jamar: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.

Coach Nut: Boy, didn’t we just tell you not to do that?
 
Jamar.: Yes, sir.

Coach Nut: Okay, then

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Mar 9, 2009 7:14 PM EDT reply actions  

Can’t sleep. Kiffin will eat me.

Can’t sleep. Kiffin will eat me.

Can’t sleep. Kiffin will eat me.

by Techie on Mar 9, 2009 10:20 PM EDT reply actions  

It’s going to be so sad to watch a cute little fella like Kiffykins get FUCKING CREMATED this fall.

Wait wait, scratch “sad” and put “awesome”.

by JD on Mar 9, 2009 10:46 PM EDT reply actions  

Pelican-

Are we to assume that Jamar will now transfer to Arizona State and have his “salad days” out there with a panty on his head when he moves up to armed robbery of c-stores?

by yoyofutbawl on Mar 10, 2009 7:28 AM EDT reply actions  

Wow… Kiffin is bringing self-immolation to a whole new level.

by CincySooner on Mar 10, 2009 8:20 AM EDT reply actions  

@ Sue E. Pig

You’re required to GRADUATE from Community College before you can transfer (in Jamar’s case) back to big boy school. You can’t just up and leave once the LOI has been signed.

Read a book.

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Mar 10, 2009 8:58 AM EDT reply actions  

Ok, Kiffykins. It was all fun and games ‘til you decided to take on Darth Visor. It’s so on, now, brother.

/Brother? Who am I? Hulk Hogan?

by GamecockTony on Mar 10, 2009 9:11 AM EDT reply actions  

re: Kiffy: “He really is the definitive coach of his genre…he is taking his role as coach by the brazilian waxed stubble and, and, uh, doing what I don’t know…but it certainly isn’t football.” Tungsten Filament, III

by sb on Mar 10, 2009 9:38 AM EDT reply actions  

As disturbing as tha “Kiffykins” video is supposed to be, I just can’t seem to stop watching it. He really is a cute lil’ fella (and one of these days I feel like The Orgeron is going to pop out from behind that screen and gobble him up).

There’s something inherently WRONG with that, isn’t there?

by the ex-croominator on Mar 10, 2009 10:33 AM EDT reply actions  

@ ex-croominator – no, there is something that would be inherently RIGHT about that. I wish I had the ’shop-fu to pull something like that off. What say you, Freek?

As to Kiffykins’ (alleged) banter regarding the employment prospects of students who attend The Chicken Coop, I would have to say that’s pretty weak tea in terms of smack.

When it gets up to the level of OBC’s “you can’t spell ‘Citrus’ without U-T” blast, then we’ll talk.

by SierraSpartan on Mar 10, 2009 12:14 PM EDT reply actions  

Clarification – Sterling is actually a walk on this year. Does that make him eligible for Fulmer Cup points?

by rebel84 on Mar 10, 2009 2:55 PM EDT reply actions  

rebel84:

So long as he is an enrolled student (which he is, he enrolled back in January) and is listed on the roster (which he is), then yes he’s eligible.

by the ex-croominator on Mar 10, 2009 4:16 PM EDT reply actions  

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