MISSISSIPPI STATE GIVES YOU THE WEED WITH LIGHTNING SPEED

by Orson on Mar 5, 2009 3:35 PM EST

There's some debate as to whether this counts in the Fulmer Cup: Maurice Langston had just transferred into Mississippi State as a JUCO recruit, and hasn't played a down for Mississippi State, and isn't on the two-deep. However, Langston was an early enrollee for 2009, and if he was enrolled may be eligible for Fulmer Cup points. This announcement brought to you by the Law Firm of Pfister, Phoc, and Drulin, the official law firm of Swindle Industries, LLC., and Mystikal, who reminds you that you lawyaz don't know 'bout that purple weed.

Now that the legalities are out of the way: while some may brag about moving bricks, Maurice Langston is out there doing it, or was before he was pulled over this past weekend and police found A POUND OF MARIJUANA (a.k.a. "a Larry Bird") in his possession. He's being given a relatively modest single charge of possession with intent to distribute, which is a bit like finding someone with a howitzer and charging them with "illegal firearm possession."

Langston has been suspended from all team activities for the moment, pending the results of the investigation, which should go something like "Hey, what were you doing with a pound of marijuana?" followed by "I was going to smoke some, sell some, and then buy some more" CASE CLOSED. Four points to Mississippi State for the three felony points and one style point, because a pound of weed is commitment to your craft, and we really should reward that.

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He is a student who is at MSU to play football. The points should stand.

That from the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe LLP.

by Crabapple Buck on Mar 5, 2009 3:42 PM EST reply actions

Whoever wrote this story has a faulty street-value calculator. If the street value of a pound of weed is $1000, then it’s got to be pretty terrible stuff, or the prices have tumbled dramatically since the time I used to track such things.

by beachgator on Mar 5, 2009 3:52 PM EST reply actions

GIVE US THE DAMN POINTS!!! Will you refuse us the opportunity to score on anything? Fuckers.

by Two Dogs on Mar 5, 2009 3:53 PM EST reply actions

How long before somebody bitches about Carl Johnson not being mentioned?

by CKGator on Mar 5, 2009 3:56 PM EST reply actions

I love me some songs about weed, but damn, that song sucked. I much prefer the classics.

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 5, 2009 4:04 PM EST reply actions

Oh, and Carl Johnson!!

/now officially the Matt Damon! of FC 2009

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 5, 2009 4:09 PM EST reply actions

Have you been hurt at work? Arrested in a car, with weed that may or may not be yours, in a car that may or may not be yours? Charges that allege you are the one to blame?
Did the cuffs hurt? Were they too tight? Did the cops give smart ass answers to smart ass questions, they type of questions they already knew the answer too? Or didn’t?
Studies have shown these type of arrest lead to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, that may or may not lead you to take pain medication that may or may not leave you with horrific side effects in which we may have already have litigation pending against several drug companies for future reference. So if this may or may not have happened to you , we may or may not be able to help you. This is serious.

Call the Law Offices of Low, Ball & Lynch. Operators are standing by. 1-800-UR-Toast

P.S. Carl Johnson is involved in this, don’t try to sweep it under the blue and orange rug.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Mar 5, 2009 4:12 PM EST reply actions

4 points – more than we had in the Aubarn game – make hima started rat now. We’ll find out real soon if Coach Mullen comes from the Urb Meyer “forgive & forget” school of thought.

by yoyofutbawl on Mar 5, 2009 4:12 PM EST reply actions

The evidence shows that the Defendant was enrolled as a student at the time of the arrest, and that Defendant was on an athletic scholarship to attend Mississippi State University. This Court notes that according to the official Wiki page of the Fulmer Cup, the only requirement is that “The player in question MUST BE ON ROSTER at the time of arrest. No Ex-Players!”

As playing time and depth chart status are not mentioned in the Rules, this Court finds that the intention of the Fulmer Cup was never to require a certain amount of downs played or top-two depth chart status. Indeed, such a finding would result in a slippery slope of FC eligibility status, and as this Court has consistently stated, the Fulmer Cup is not a living, breathing document. The intent of the Founding Fathers (sirs Swindle and Montana) is clear, as the only rule, that the player be on the roster, is written in all caps. As every blogger knows, this is just like yelling, so we assume they meant business.

Thus, the points stand, and MSU is awarded the 4 points to the Fulmer Cup race.

by RaginCajunRebel on Mar 5, 2009 4:15 PM EST reply actions

I agree with the above posters….

The kid is on-campus, taking classes (presumably), and pulling scholarship money from Mississippi State. Thus, if he’s breakin’ tha law, he’s doing it under MSUs supervision. If the spirit of the FC Race is to determine whos program is more “thug” then I vote that the points count.

by CincySooner on Mar 5, 2009 4:26 PM EST reply actions

That reminds me… I still need to own a racehorse named Ghetto Fabulous

by Grimey on Mar 5, 2009 4:28 PM EST reply actions

Intent to distribute? Your honor, I submit to your this is a shameful incidence of the prosecution over-charging my client. He uses this THC, or “mari-ju-anna” if you prefer though my client assures me he is unfamiliar with that term, as a prophylactic for strictly medicinal purposes. The man clearly has a deep-seated and nearly crippling fear of glaucoma, and I am seriously considering filing a civil rights case charging the the prosecutor’s office with violating the Americans With Disabilities Act.

by Harris on Mar 5, 2009 4:31 PM EST reply actions

#9
You’re out of order, I’m out of order, this whole Fulmer Cup series is outta order…..
(later on)
Officer Leary: …then said he was gonna… "bung-hole the short order chef"… "cream on the waitress"…
[more laughter]
Officer Leary: …stuff like that, Your Honor.
Dapper Defendant: There’s a very good reason for all of that, Your Honor.
Judge Rayford: Oh? What is that?
Dapper Defendant: I’m a diabetic.
[loud laughter from the gallery]
Judge Rayford: I fail to see the connection. I’ve never heard of diabetes causing foul language!
Dapper Defendant: That’s because you’re a douchebag.

This moment in Trial Lawyaz history brought to you by Bob Loblaw
“You don’t need double talk; you need Bob Loblaw”. “Bob Loblaw No Habla Espanol”.
“Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb” “Bob Loblaw Launches Law Blog”.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Mar 5, 2009 4:33 PM EST reply actions

I don’t think it can count. I would love for it to count, God knows they need all the help they can get, but a similar situation wasn’t counted last year for Ole Miss. http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/29/curious-index-12908/

In typical State fashion, late to the game. If it makes it any better, I thought they were robbed with the points last year.

by MississippiDore on Mar 5, 2009 4:52 PM EST reply actions

The difference with the Ole Miss guy from last year was that he hadn’t even signed his LOI yet, he was just a verbal recruit. Langston was signed and on the team.

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 5, 2009 5:30 PM EST reply actions

MississippiDore: actually, the Jared Foster case can be differentiated from the one in the instant matter. Although Foster was enrolled at Ole Miss, he had yet to sign a binding LOI. Therefore, he was technically not a member of the team. To quote the article linked: “He was to sign with them formally next month.”

Thus, he was not a member of the team, and the denial of FC points was correct and in line with the spirit of the rule. The Ruling, therefore, stands. Cost of this proceeding are taxed to MississippiDore.

Adjourned.

by RaginCajunRebel on Mar 5, 2009 5:35 PM EST reply actions

He just happened to get pinched in Afroman’s town, and you didn’t post this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=305vRNoofr8
and I’m just here to echo the “see, our ‘offensive’ productivity has increased already!” sentiment.

by jakldawg on Mar 5, 2009 5:47 PM EST reply actions