WHERE IMMIGRATION LAW AND COLLEGE FOOTBALL MEET

by Orson on Mar 4, 2009 4:43 PM EST

Sometimes we have to justify all the lingering bits of immigrant/refugee stuff floating about in our heads. Pardon the mess, but here's one instance of that in a college football-relevant manner.

Here's a joke: why don't immigration lawyers go to hell when they die? Answer: because that would be redundant. Little illustrates that better than the case of Anthony Zehyoue, the former LSU defensive end whose entire family may be deported from the United States thanks to the expiry of their TPS--Temporary Protective Status, a kind of sub-refugee status allowing for temporary refuge in the United States from whatever's going on in your country. (If the initials are redolent of another bureaucratic absurdity, well, the similarities are a darkly humorous coincidence only.)

Yes, that Liberia. The one printed on maps with flames coming from it for about 20 years.

Now here's where we get to crack out our funstick from a former life as refugees: TPS is a non-fungible status, meaning if you enter the country under Temporary Protective Status, you're that forever. You can't upgrade to being a refugee, you can't apply for citizenship, and to put it eloquently, you can't do dick besides just sit there and be TPS until it's time to go back.

Zehyoue and his family are the sort of hard-working, self-reliant American types Americans like to think we are: degree-earners, successful, etc.

Had they been slower in fleeing Liberia, they could have earned full refugee status simply by following the wave of Liberians who fled to a Cote d'Ivoire or Ghana and then funneled in through formal channels to become refugees, a path that leads to permanent resident status provided you don't get arrested, do your paperwork, and otherwise leap through the appropriate number of hoops.

It is a cruel irony that Zehyoue and his family--along with the first wave of fast-acting non-refugee Liberians who arrived and got TPS status--are being punished for being quick to recognize just how hellish the situation was getting in their home country and for acting quickly. It is solely cruel (and not ironic) that their fates now sit in the hands of DHS, the fetal government bureaucracy so huge and unwieldy that the processing times for passports and refugee visas has slowed to a crawl for all cases. Something as messy as the expiry of the TPS policy for Liberians will pass through its gullet like a toaster through an earthworm: with ugly and spectacularly bad results.

The worst part is that the youngest Zehyoue--the fifteen year old daughter--won't have to leave because she was born in the US. She'll be separated from her family, who if they are deported will be probably be ineligible for a substantial period of time. (Forcible deportations due to overstay are usually ineligible for ten years; nastier stuff gets you a lifetime ban, like the one given to Dennis Franchione when he was deported after his final season at Texas A&M. Enjoy Buenos Aires, Coach!)

It's a deep and awful legal vortex they've been sucked into, and probably the only time you'll hear Les Miles, Dennis Dodd, and ourselves all land on the same side of a single issue. This is either indicative of an approaching apocalypse, or a sign of a situation so clearly unfair to a group of people that even three idiots can recognize the absurdity of the situation.

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Comments

by Immigration, lawya on Mar 4, 2009 4:55 PM EST reply actions

If only LSU had a snakey alum with a great deal of political pull that could finally be used for good…

by Headful of Ideas on Mar 4, 2009 5:01 PM EST reply actions

Hmm…
Rational, reasoned, knowledgeable insight into a situation…. or a comment by an anonymous poster.

Its a toughie, those CBSSports comments are PRETTY knowledgeable.Take AUnmmNutzz. for example. He appears to be an Auburn Alumnus, so he clearly has a firm background on this topic.

“Become a taxpayer

Do something radical, like apply for citizenship, learn the language, respect the culture, get a job, pay some taxes."

by NatiJacket on Mar 4, 2009 5:02 PM EST reply actions

“We’re from the government…we’re here to help you…” …no, seriously…

by sb on Mar 4, 2009 5:02 PM EST reply actions

To round out the dumb comments from the state of Alabama, heres one from a Alabama fan:

“No excuse for not applying for citizenship. Maybe you don’t have to pay U.S. taxes when you’re on a visa.”

by NatiJacket on Mar 4, 2009 5:05 PM EST reply actions

Two comments:

(1) So, summing up, “temporary” status here is permanent and cannot be changed. It just goes to prove the old adage that nothing is more permanent than a temporary government program.

(2) Six comments in and no one has offered up a TPS cover sheet yet? Yeesh.

by DevilGrad on Mar 4, 2009 5:07 PM EST reply actions

Can we do a swap of some kind? Liberia would get all of our immigration lawyers and DHS muckity-mucks, and we’d get fine folk such as the Zehyoues?

by Whohah on Mar 4, 2009 5:11 PM EST reply actions

Whohah—Sure. Ask Georgia about their stellar linebackers and wideouts, too.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 4, 2009 5:14 PM EST reply actions

Is it too late to send Rennie Curran back before the season starts? Maybe mix up some paperwork or something?
Signed,
Other SEC teams.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Mar 4, 2009 5:17 PM EST reply actions

Excellent work for publishing this. Every bit helps (in the loooooooonnnnnngggg run anyway). Our immigration processing/policy is seriously fucked up for two reasons.

1. the agencies are as incoherent and ineffectual as anything in the movie Brazil.

2. Most Americans have a startling misconception of immigration and the process of legal residency.

Bravo.

by tzubear on Mar 4, 2009 5:22 PM EST reply actions

Liberia, in its own right, is quite bizarre in its existence. They shipped freed Slaves back to Africa to start a colony. Then after several bloody coups,wars and corruption, many want to leave cause its as lawless as Somalia. They left too early and have an expiration date and cant be citizens? I know one thing, if I got kicked out of the US, I wouldnt go back to Liberia…. It would be like being from the Detroit, getting a degree, moving away, then being forced to move back Detroit, because, hey, your from Detroit. And you can’t leave Detroit cause, frankly, we dont like people from Detroit.
I assure you, any TPS Report that they fax is covered in blood.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Mar 4, 2009 5:52 PM EST reply actions

Surely, the Kingdom of Mingovia would take them. Barkevious?

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 4, 2009 6:04 PM EST reply actions

I know that I am addressing the wrong crowd here, but I can assure the members of this august assemblage that you pay US taxes when you live here on a visa, or a green card for that matter. You just don’t get to take your place at the trough or even vote yourself some tasty new slops for the trough.

(US citizen since 1991, lawyas!)

by DC Trojan on Mar 4, 2009 6:13 PM EST reply actions

The guy with whom I coach my rec soccer team is a green card holder and proud displayer of a “Taxation Without Representation” bumper sticker.

by DevilGrad on Mar 4, 2009 6:44 PM EST reply actions

A government agency doing something patently stupid that needlessly destroys the lives of innocent people and makes a mockery of the very pillars of the nation’s founding? That’s . . . well, that’s just a normal Wednesday, actually. Fortunately for the Zehyoues, normal government ineptitude likely means this won’t become a real problem for another five-10 years.

by Harris on Mar 4, 2009 10:24 PM EST reply actions

Thankfully people just like these bureaucrats will be running all of our banks and businesses soon. Go stimulus package!!

by perry on Mar 4, 2009 11:10 PM EST reply actions

Not to side-drain, but those people already were running our banks and businesses. (Which is to say the upper echelons of business draw from the same pool of overmatched intellect in expensive suits that government does.)

by AERose on Mar 5, 2009 12:10 AM EST reply actions

Would that we could fit all of the Third-, Fourth-, and Fifth-Worlds into these good ol’ Newtided States of Americuh…but, alas, we can’t.

I hate to say it, but I fear that we’ll be doing well-enough to take care of our own, at this current rate…

by DawgBoy83 on Mar 5, 2009 3:00 AM EST reply actions

I’ve actually seen this side of our immigration law. My brother-in-law fell in love with and married a young lady from Honduras. She was bright, intelligent and worked very hard (paying taxes too). Her English had only a slight trace of an accent, despite never having spoken a word of the language six years ago. She is now completely literate.

They had a son, he’s now five. Nice kid.

Too bad his mother is now back in Honduras with no chance to get back for ten years despite her marriage, years of work or job status. All appeals and legal wrangling have fallen on deaf ears. It’s a no-go.

So he saves what he can throughout the year so that he has the money for a short trip to Honduras so his family can be together for a week or so once a year. He will likely do this until their son is in high school.

I don’t care what your political orientation is, or where you sit on the issue, once you see a sitution like the above, there is something horribly wrong with our current immigration law.

Sullivan013

by Sullivan013 on Mar 5, 2009 7:42 AM EST reply actions

Are you sure that is not a picture of LA?

by me on Mar 5, 2009 8:07 AM EST reply actions

Me at 20: You’re right. I think that is a picture of New Orleans.

by Hsvrebfan on Mar 5, 2009 9:33 AM EST reply actions

Great post #Sullivan013

Similar thing happened to my close friend’s niece. The mother, a US citizen, went AWOL and had little to no contact with her daughter from about age 5. The niece lived with her father, who was in the US illegally because his green card had expired. He worked, paid taxes, and raised his daughter alone for 9 years, receiving no support from the girl’s mother. He was not eligible to apply for citizenship because of a drug charge (weed) years earlier. He was caught in a routine traffic stop, sent to Krome Detention Center and deported, with no chance of return, leaving a 14 year old daughter (a US citizen) parentless.

She was placed in the care of relatives because her mother didn’t want her, was molested by a distant family member, and would have become a depressing statistic had her aunt not taken her in and forced her to finish high school. Happily, she seems to be okay now. But that’s a lot for a young teen to endure in addition to all the other stuff that comes with being that age.

so please tell me what policy this promotes?!?

by g8rslm on Mar 5, 2009 9:47 AM EST reply actions

A few points that need to be made: Whether anyone here likes it or not, the Zehyoue family came here on a temporary basis, and it is now time for them to go home. Liberia has been independent and self-governing (as it were) for over 150 years. The fact that it is a shithole is not my problem – it is what it is, and Africa is Africa for a reason. I have friends who had a Liberian family move in next door to them. Both parents were “degreed” and wore Izods, spoke with that lilting African accent, the whole 9 yards. The kids, however, were lazy, ignorant, and destructive (at the tender ages of 14 and 11, mind you). Thank God they finally moved away. And these folks were the best that Liberia had to offer. Bottom line: They don’t belong here, they are not valuable to our society, and they should take their degrees, their (supposed) industry, and their “get-up-and-go” back to Liberia and work on improving that society.

by Double Dawg Dare Ya on Mar 5, 2009 1:28 PM EST reply actions

And Georgia fans make the appearance you’ve been waiting for them to make.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 5, 2009 1:32 PM EST reply actions 1 recs

To quote Super Troopers: “Don’t lump us in with that fuckin’ Martian!”

by Another Dawg on Mar 5, 2009 2:13 PM EST reply actions

Ahh fuck em.

I have enough problems with college kids pissing all over high street and trying to understand their foreign Dad at work who’s building my new database.

by fluffy_bunny_feet on Mar 5, 2009 2:18 PM EST reply actions