CURIOUS INDEX, 3/4/2009

by Orson on Mar 4, 2009 10:15 AM EST

We're...thpeechless. Oh, Christ. Lou Holth. Sean Hannity.

We're...out of words. (HT: Team Speed Kills.)

Larry Coker, bringing our economy back one job at a time. Larry Coker believes in hard work, which is why he's not picking up a paycheck for taking Sean Hannity's hand up his ass and puppeting away, and will instead be signed on to be the first coach at the building UT-San Antonio football program.

Monte Kiffin: He plays in the bridge club on Thursdays after the early bird like a kid! Monte Kiffin is surprisingly undead for a breathing guy still alive and stuff:

"Man," said one coach. "That guy has so much enthusiasm for football."

"And for life," a colleague added.

Because it's so usual to find coaches who have so much enthusiasm for football, but not life. "Ted, he's one of the best coaches I've seen, but the minute he leaves this office he turns into a joyless, dessicated husk of a man incapable of opening his own car doors due to life's sadness crushing him with every step he takes away from the football field." Unless we're talking about Bill Snyder, this simply isn't very common. (Bill Snyder: not visible in mirrors.)

Feldblog does his HR column. In which he courteously reminds us all that Miami has one of the nastier four-game opening stretches in program history, and all just in time to greet a new pro-style offensive coordinator Mark Whipple. The four: Oklahoma, Virginia Tech, Florida State and Georgia Tech. If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly (who is attacked by five elephants hopped up on crack while bolted to a steel post in the ground.)

Mandy Moore's performance is moving. It must be, if A Walk to Remember made James Lauranaitis weep. We'll watch this movie when we get our foot caught in a bear trap walking through our own house. Now, Two Can Play At That Game, with Vivica Fox and Morris Chestnutt? THAT'S a film of undeniable magnetism. You've flipped the script on him, girl! [/BET'd]

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Comments

i’d just like to note how happy i am that we have bill snyder to kick around again

by okiedomer on Mar 4, 2009 10:21 AM EST reply actions

And here I thought I was the only white person who watches BET.

The CIA ain’t got nothin on a woman with a plan.

by zzgator on Mar 4, 2009 10:22 AM EST reply actions

Walt Harris coaching quarterbacks in Akron? That’s some unusual career arc he’s got going there.

by worstfan on Mar 4, 2009 10:32 AM EST reply actions

Lou Holtz should stick to what he does best.

….

When I figure out what it is, I’ll let you know.

by NatiJacket on Mar 4, 2009 10:36 AM EST reply actions

That’s a pretty nasty opening stretch.

Unless there is a bye week in there, no team in america could get through those four games undefeated.

by CincySooner on Mar 4, 2009 10:41 AM EST reply actions

Dear FauxNews,

Just when I thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

by Jeff Daniels on Mar 4, 2009 10:48 AM EST reply actions

Okiedomer, you think you’re happy about Bill Snyder coming back? Bo Pelini can’t wait for their next postgame meeting.

by Albino Tornado on Mar 4, 2009 10:50 AM EST reply actions

So the ‘panel’ consisted of an educated Democrat, an enducated Republican, ….and Lou Holtz!!!??

Well, he IS something different……

This is the guy who stated about Rich Rodrieguez’s coaching style,

“Ya know, Hitler was a great leader too.”

I guess according to FOX that qualifies him as a political science expert.

Sullivan013

by Sullivan013 on Mar 4, 2009 11:04 AM EST reply actions

Monte Kiffin’s been feeling as light as the ether ever since he got acquitted. I couldn’t believe the Utah prosecutors didn’t try to rehabilitate their star witness after her twin sister testified. Unclear to me how he’s going to settle the score with Albee/Kiffykins, though.

But I bet he’s pissed that Bill/Urb got that casino franchise/MNC.

by now_a_hoo on Mar 4, 2009 11:06 AM EST reply actions

In the alternate universe, Barry Switzer and Rachel Maddow are discussing, well, nothing, just having raw sex. Barry is that awesome you know.

by meatybob on Mar 4, 2009 11:27 AM EST reply actions

OH well yea.. you know those Dems… they are all sooooo well educated. Us conservatives are just uhhhh… duuuuhhh .. duhhhhhhhhh,, give me a break. Stick to Football Orson, both sides have their issues, don’t be like that mad man on MSNBC, who gets no ratings, Olberdork….

by Brent on Mar 4, 2009 11:34 AM EST reply actions

Brent—

You fail to see the absurdity of having Lou Holtz on a panel about anything outside of football, but go ahead and sandwich in your talking point if you like. I’d say the same if Pete Carroll popped up next to Olbermann—which, for all we know, is just seconds away from actually happening, and will be tweeted by Pete in real time.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 4, 2009 11:43 AM EST up reply actions

And furthermore, we take nothing seriously here. Bring your altar up here, and we’ll happily crap on it, no matter the church. Idiocy has no party, which is why it’s always in power.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 4, 2009 11:45 AM EST reply actions

I was just sad to see Lou didn’t use this opportunity to raise awareness of the dread disease of penis hookworm.

by ben hill gryphon on Mar 4, 2009 11:52 AM EST reply actions

This is what Hannity does. He puts a couple of partisans on with a “real american” celebrity. Last night, he had Seth Davis of CBS basketball, who is a liberal. I thought Holtz was pretty good on the show, lisp aside, of course. He has a pretty good grasp on the issues.

Now, had he done the torn newspaper trick, that would’ve been far more interesting in the sense that trainwrecks are interesting. I’m guessing Hannity would’ve eaten it up, though.

by fresh on Mar 4, 2009 11:58 AM EST reply actions

I wonder if Lou Holtz gave the Republicans a pep talk?

by RapeHammer on Mar 4, 2009 1:03 PM EST reply actions

is that what lou (life long conservative) is doing—puppeting Sean Hannity? That’s not funny, it’s not (oddly) perceptive, it’s not ironic—so what’s it doing on this blog? i guess you must be earnestly believe this tripe, but there’s a problem: this opinion is not worthy of respect because it’s not intelligent and it makes no attempt to be informed. sometimes you people floor me.

by Ugh-ghast on Mar 4, 2009 1:04 PM EST reply actions

a) Wait a goddamn second, how is Lou Holtz appearing in a political panel discussion on global warming not the funniest fucking thing to happen all week?

b) WHAT DO YOU MEAN “YOU PEOPLE”? HUH??

by Holly on Mar 4, 2009 1:41 PM EST reply actions

Ugh-ghast—

I’m probably closer to you than I am to Orson on the political spectrum (I assume), but I think you’re failing to take something into consideration here: this is Orson’s blog. If he wants to put peanut butter certain places and have his blog lick it off, it’s ok because it’s… well, you know.

by PW on Mar 4, 2009 1:46 PM EST reply actions

Please, please make Lou a regular on that show.

I will watch at least once.

Hannity and Holtz….. Huh, huh, you know you like it mister Fox News producer man.

by PeayHog on Mar 4, 2009 1:53 PM EST reply actions

We’ll state for the record that we’re Alan Moore-style anarchists. Meaning we really just want a naked glowing blue guy to come in and start vaporizing everyone until everyone learns how to act right.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 4, 2009 2:01 PM EST reply actions

All this political discussion is moving us away from what we should be discussing. How do you coach with a name like Whipple?

by Croc on Mar 4, 2009 2:39 PM EST reply actions

Croc: How do you coach with a name like Whiple? With Charmin?

by hobeg8r on Mar 4, 2009 2:58 PM EST reply actions

…dethided thchematic advantage, anyone?

by Tits McGee on Mar 4, 2009 4:15 PM EST reply actions

It’s ok Orson, we understand that you are a pinko, commie,butt-fucking liberal. I won’t hold that against you.

When the war starts and the “those that have” defeat the “those that take”, we’ll keep you around for entertaining us, much like a court jester.

:: Envisions Orson doing Kettle Bell workouts, sprints, and vomiting into a garbage can ::

by El Kabong!!! on Mar 4, 2009 5:51 PM EST reply actions

El Kabong!!!—-

That doesn’t sound bad, actually.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 4, 2009 5:58 PM EST reply actions

::Insert holier than thou comment about someones political affiliation::::

:::Insult person or persons for them categorizing you::::

:::In my bitter heart believe that if I type on enough message boards and insulting others that they will see the error of their ways and tell me I am right::::

Wow… that was ridiculous. Lou Holtz on a political talk show? That is like Rush Limbaugh on ESPN…oh wait. Sometimes these things just don’t go together no matter what your affiliation/creed/anything.

And whoever is going to spend thirty seconds complaining about my comment. I ask, just spend that time and try and think from a different perspective, maybe if more of our officials could do this, we might actually get solutions instead of endless talking points…. /end rant

by Matt on Mar 4, 2009 8:56 PM EST reply actions