RANDY SHANNON LIGHTENS UP AS ONLY HE CAN

by Orson on Mar 3, 2009 12:27 PM EST

Randy Shannon gets to lighten up, and Barstoolio and ourselves suggest a few jokes we think he can kill in front of the players. (Kill, as in "make dead which is forever, and don't forget that, kids.)

Hopefully, it will be as side-splitting as the Sports Kids interview with Randy Shannon, where he tells kids about watching guards savaging a kid in game at a juvenile detention center, and how inspiring that was.

"You can learn a lot of things in prison, kids."

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“Do you have anything you want to share with the kids, coach?”

Shannon: You can do anything you set your mind to . . . and always go for the soft tissues. The nose and throat.

by Harris on Mar 3, 2009 12:41 PM EST reply actions

Randy’s also a fan of making up limericks for the team:

RS: There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who fumbled on third and one and is now buried so deep in the Florida marsh that Horatio Mother Fucking Caine and his entire band of dip shits couldn’t find him if it was a two hour holiday fucking special.

by RaginCajunRebel on Mar 3, 2009 12:45 PM EST reply actions

That talk inspired me – I want to be a prison guard.

by Sundawg on Mar 3, 2009 1:13 PM EST reply actions

Rick Ross could give a talk on the merits of being a prison guard.

by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 3, 2009 1:35 PM EST reply actions

Magnanimous, in a word, that talk helped me more than you will ever know.

by Lane Kiffin's Nueron on Mar 3, 2009 3:19 PM EST reply actions

When asked how he would stop Voldemort, I was hoping for an answer along the lines of “a safety blitz out of the 3-4.” Additionally, “what the hell is a Voldemort?” or a reference to stopping Baltimore would have been acceptable.

Also from the interview…

Favorite food: chicken
Favorite drink: grape Nehi soda
Something racist something something

by Big Jon on Mar 3, 2009 4:13 PM EST reply actions