CURIOUS INDEX, 2/23/2009

Northwestern, Northeastern, North-by-Northwestern…

Yep, I’m better than you. Orson Swindle’s guide to living life in alternating carribean and las vegas vaccations. Oh yeah, and going to all the football games I want.

Available at Amazon.com

… I’m seriously jealous Orson. You’re livin’ the dream man. Congrats.

wow, that came out harsher than I thought it would.

Appologies… I got bit by the Monday Monster something fierce this morning.

Heh, Fagg.

Seriously though, Holly rocked the casbah last week. Applause from this corner of the room.

Holly was so good last week, I found myself worshipping our new Vol overlord. Her presence sparked a wave of Fulmer Cup activity that may take awhile to catch up.

BTW, I watched some combine last night and noticed that Beanie Wells’ foot must be healed enough to out run Knowshon and out leap all backs and some/most WR’s. Methinks there might be a bigger dropoff in RB talent next year than I thought at tOSU.

Yeah, Crabapple Buck’s right on two fronts. Holly’s presence seems to have the same effect as Rosario Dawson’s mood in Men in Black II. All of us are around EDSBS when college football players commit crimes. But only in Holly’s case do college football players commit crimes because she’s hanging around EDSBS.

And Knowshon isn’t faster than anybody, except the dude chasing him to the endzone. He’ll outrun that bastard 8 of 10 times. The other two times that bastard happens to be named Eric Berry or Major Wright. And Beanie broadjumping 10’8 plus, like, 38 times in a row was just not fair to the rest of the class. He sorta busted the curve there.

yes, we all applaud the fine mariage of talent here between Orson and Holly… with LSUfreek coming in on occasion and making you both look good

and like most mariages, this one may last…because you are living in separate homes 2500 miles apart hehehe

Harrumph. Cloris Leachman says she’s the most famous NW grad and Fagg’s a sack of shit. Plus, he was a lousy dancer.

God forbid I have to fly to DFW and endure Fort Worthless for the remainder of the week at the new Omni downtown. EDSBSers, where do I get a drink nearby?

Come on, no “Orson starring in remake of ‘Swamp Thing’” posts yet? Do I have to do all the work around here while avoiding what I actually get paid to do?

My trained eye tells me the ubbles in the upper right are from a Colombian drug sub and/or colliding British and French boomers. Or it could be Saban doing a scuba brush by on a recruit (Knoxville land-based outrage soon to follow).

Good to see Swindle living large. So much for the myth of there being no money in the internets outside of porn!

There’s family down there, so it all happened on the cheap. Let’s not get crazy now. It’s not like we could afford to breathe for ten minutes in Cayman without a place to stay.

Yoyofutbawl: Reata www.reata.net 310 Houston St (“downtown”); Cousin’s Bar-BQ www.cousinsbbq.com 5125 Bryant Irvin; Aguilera’s, 2005 N Grove St 817.624.0189 (ultimate hole-in-the-wall – it’s in a house north of “downtown”; until recently it was an unmarked house; call 1st); burgers – Kincaids www.kincaidshamburgers.com 4901 Camp Bowie Blvd, but there’s add’l locations now.

@ Yoyo: Railhead Smokehouse, 2900 Montgomery
http://www.railheadonline.com if you like what Texans consider to be barbecue.

Have a couple of Shiner Bocks for me

That one dude in the picture looks suspiciously like Stafford — Perhaps he is not throwing at the combine so his wings can be well-rested for X-treme scuba diving…

13/14

Many thanks. I’ll be stuck in required CE courses all day, they drive me nuts. Plus boring ass tech people in the mold biz.

Need adult relief afterward.

O,
While the M16 is a fine weapon, the SEALS have a wide array of firearms to choose from.
Might I suggest a M110 SASS from my employer?

www.knightarmco.com

Yoyofutbawl,

If beer is your game head over to the Flying Saucer at Sundance for a large selection of beers on tap. For the best chicken friend steak it has to be The Reata which is also on Sundance. Make sure that you try their tortilla soup. Both are great dishes. The Reata also has some decent smokes and you can smoke in the upstairs bar which gives you a nice view.

Well, I hope that helps.

Yoyo-
The restaurants these guys gave you are great. For a drink, try The Flying Saucer or 8.0. The Flying Saucer has just about every beer that is currently being made and has daily “Fire Sales” where they are trying to empty out kegs (of really good beer) to make room for new ones. 8.0 is a more normal bar with your typical mixed drinks and whatnot. For a sportsbar, check out The Fox and Hound. All of these places are in or around Sundance Square and should be walking distance from your hotel.

From your expression, O, looks like you ran into Jackie Bissett under there.

Waterboarded with cappucinos? Or being named after a cigarrete and sharing the spotlight with Mike Wilbon from a big ten school?

The Caymans were never really the same after Ivan

Everything good in the Caymans is on the water or under it. Not much other reason to go. I’m partial to Honduras. It’s completely unspoiled, man.

I have not yet made it to Honduras but I loved both Costa Rica and Belize. You can certainly have some cool dive experiences from Central America. And there are good bargans to be had.

Fuck you, Brian!

-ethnic Caymanian

p.s. except that you are kind of correct

p.p.s. but sometimes that’s awesome too, nothing to do but drink and get tan

O,

If you ever run into a SEAL in any bar, foreign or domestic, buy him a drink of Flor De Cana Centenario 21 year Rum. You will have a good friend and a pretty good backup in a fight if needed.

TCOAN,

So when most of us were being hauled to East Bumfuck, Texas to visit our grandmothers, you had to go to the Caymans. Pppppppppffffffffffffthhhhhhhhh.

Orson,

I have never seen a picture of your wife, and yet based on these facts – you completely out-kicked the coverage.

How dare college football look for new ways to put playmakers in space and create mismatches…

REAL football can only be accomplished out of the I or Pro sets…

The best thing about the Railhead is the disc that eventually separates itself from the frosty schooner. ICEBERG! DEAD AHEAD!

18/19

Again, much thanks. Reata was recommended by the front desk at The Omni too.

They got a Del Frisco here too but am not in the mood for a $45 filet.

You truly haven’t ‘arrived’ at EDSBS until you get a fuck you from TCOAN. Excelsior, bitches!

More Fort Worth recommendations:

- The Library (6th and Houston St. in downtown, right past the Fox and Hound) is a fun place to see douchebags and super-easy sorority trash in their natural habitats. Wear your best untucked striped shirt and rent a BMW and you never know what might happen.

- Anywhere in the Stockyards (take Main St. out of downtown) is high comedy unless you actually buy into the Western thing.

- There are several good holes in the wall around TCU (on West Berry St.) if you’re interested in some live music with your beverages. The Moon Bar, Aardvark’s, Fuzzy’s Taco Shop (no music but damn good fish tacos and they’re open super late), and a couple others.

- A few decent places on West 7th St. like 7th Haven, the Irish pub whose name changes every month or so, and if you’re up for some fancy Mexican/Latin food there’s Gloria’s inside Montgomery Plaza.

- Sadly, you missed out on the greatness of The Pour House by about two months. They’re re-opening west of downtown sometime this year.

- And if you don’t live around here, go to Whataburger at least once, and also buy yourself some Blue Bell ice cream. You can’t go wrong.

;)