FULMER CUP: POSSESSION RECEIVER!

(although we’re with Hinton in wondering how you date-rape the same person three times over a period of months and don’t get reported).

—Ask Orgeron. He date-raped Ole Miss for three years before finally being reported, so to speak.

“[he] grabbed with his hand her buttocks”

It’s almost Shakespearean in it’s prose.

The top 1% of 1% huh Meyer? Stay classy Gainsville.

[obligatory after yesterday’s wunderkind post]
what? no mention of Oklahoma WR Bo Bowling’s arrest? is there a ban on reporting the bad and ugly about the OSU Cowboys?
[/obligatory]

It’s a meme!

I work for Oklahoma State, so I’m really getting a kick out of these posts.

RaginCajunRebel – But look how Ole Miss was dressed

@Crane: yep. We were asking for it. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go cry in the shower again.

I hope my continued Florida’s Carl Johnson media blackout pleases you, Comment Hero Eric Miller!

Rumor has it that Carl Johnson and the girl broke off their relationship in January, and then she filed for the restraining order in February. Reportedly he had not been told that a restraining order had been filed, which makes it difficult comply. He was on a city bus and got off at the same stop without speaking to the girl. This one is going to be difficult to prosecute for the restraining order violation, let alone sexual assault.

Here’s your mildly disturbing quote of the day: “Johnson claimed that a goal in life was to “shoot and kill someone,” the petition states.” well…. shit…. Someone please post a feel-good Tebow story STAT!!!!

Not included above for lack of desire to deal with the hatemail, but here’s something else that bothers me about the Johnson thing: “He had access to people who could physically harm me”…dude is 6’7". What, he’s too lazy to hit his own girlfriend? WHERE’S THE HUSTLE, GATOR NATION??

“University of Florida police arrested Gators offensive lineman Carl Johnson on Monday for violating a sexual violence restraining order, according to police records obtained by the Sentinel.”

Umm Holly sweetheart, when a warrant is filed for someone’s arrest that indeed means that a “charge has been made.” Not only was a warrant issued for Thug Johnson, but a Judge had to approve & sign off on the charges, and the arrest was made.

Holly – That’s what Major Wright is for.

Sorry, that was unclear. No charges have been filed for the alleged rapes/harassment, is what I meant. But thanks for calling me sweetheart! It puts me in my place, AND makes me feel pretty.

Post updated to clarify. In exchange, I ask that you not begin comments with “Um”, because as far as we know no one on this board is a junior high school girl.

Umm – Jort Hater – no. That is not how it is handled in Florida. (At least not here in South Florida). An arrest warrant isn’t issued by a Judge. All someone has to do is file an Affidavit (with the police) that the Restraining Order has been violated. The police can then arrest you for violating the Restraining Order. It is not handled by the Judge until First Appearance.

As opposed to grabbing her with his eyebrows? Somebody dragged syntax into a basement and beat the shit out of it.

Also, Holly what are your feelings on “sweetie,” “honey,” “sweet tits,” sugar bottom" and/or “little Miss Sassy-pants”?

Shit, now you expect me to wear pants?

some of the items could not be identified and have been sent for testing

This sounds meth lab-tastic.

Don’t start on my account. I prefer you just as you are, lucky rocket ship underpants and all.

@17. No, because in your liberation, you would take that as a license to expose ankle…and, is that a ringlet I see coming unmoored from its bonnet?

Mr. Peppers?

http://www.funnystuffblog.com/images/brian-peppers-yearbook.jpg

Too easy?

Most rapes don’t get reported or charged because reliving the experience in a courtroom can be as bad or worse than the initial rape itself. Throw in having to testify against a popular athlete with the mass of UF athletic money behind him and a community that believes no Gator does wrong and it’s no surprise she elected not to file charges.

Don’t get me started on the local practice of “complimentaries” to individuals and businesses against whom Gator football players transgress. Or should I just ignore the primo seats Stan Forron suddenly had all season after the Tony Joiner incident?

There are few things more train-wreck-tastically satisfying to watch than a sarcastic accusation of wrongness from someone who turns out to be wrong himself . . . which actually begs the question of whether JortHater is really Lane Kiffin, but that’s another issue for another time, I guess.

Mr. Peppers, hahaha. Holly, you are hilarious! That totally does sound like a hand puppet. I wonder if he went with: “Let me get some of that brown sugar!” like GOB’s hand puppet, Franklin.

Although, in a more sinister sense, it also sounds like the real Mr. Peppers was trying to use that unwilling woman as a hand puppet.

“But thanks for calling me sweetheart! It puts me in my place, AND makes me feel pretty.”

Awesome, Holly, as usual.

Or, just Awesome Holly – take your pick.

OT… but not really.

While reading an article about Tiger Woods (of all things), I stumbled upon an ad for this:

http://shopping.msn.com/results/shp/?text=gary+barnett+signed+golf+ball,scId=11

Yes, you avid hyper text transfer protocol readers have it correct. For just $29.95, you can have a golf ball signed by none other than deposed Colorado head coach Gary Barnett. How aren’t these flying off the shelves???

I still have a problem with the violation of a restraining order one knew nothing about…its not like his whereabouts were unknown and he couldn’t be served…

The points for Oklahoma State were already awarded on February 11.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/02/11/fulmer-cupdate-the-x-receiver-stands-for-xanax/

This Chris Johnson business just goes to show you how far recruiting has fallen at Florida State. Johnson would’ve been a lock at FSU 10 years ago. They can’t even get someone who steals dead people’s credit cards these days. There’s no way they can land someone who not only has a sexual violence restraining order but somehow manages to violate it.

Good grief, how did we do that the first time without making a “possession receiver” joke? I’m ashamed.

Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, Carl Johnson is a lineman masher from Florida. But Carl lives in San Andreas. Now think about, that does not make sense!

Let it be duly noted that the only charge currently pending against Mr. Jonhson is a misdemeanor. And what is up with the AP or who(m?)ever wrote the initial article on this situation…everywhere I read about it includes information about how many UF players have been arrested “in the previous ten months”…when did this become the critical cut-off timewise? Or is that the only way they can include the fact that the first arrest in that time period happened to a player that was kicked off UF’s team and has now signed with Ole Miss? These are the things I ponder while on cold medicine.

Well, when you’re allegedly date-raped by a 6’7" 350 lb. monster who “claimed that a goal in life was to ‘shoot and kill someone,’” I can see how you might not want to rile him up.

Johnson’s ex-girlfriend should be sure to put her gas card in a lock box. You know, just in case.

5 points toward the fulmer cup (AT LEAST). kid gets a DUI at Ball State and gets 3, pssshhhhhhh.