CURIOUS INDEX, 2/18/2009
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| Noble Doss, R.I.P. The Longhorn legend died this weekend at the age of 88.
Is the SEC the default national league? Brother Clay says yes, and get used to it. (So what does that make Raycom, exactly?) We lost all interest in this Mike Leach contract negotiations storyline right around the time the Dread Pirate Cap’n hired a freaking publicist to organize a student support rally on his behalf, but for the Red Raider partisans and the very, very bored, he can be seen here dropping some science on an adoring public. (Point of order, though: That clause in his contract the department wants to add, about all speaking fees, book revenues, etc. belonging to the University? Group 5, is that kind of thing normal? ‘Splain below, if you would.) Randy Shannon has had just about enough of your guff. Bryce Brown may lose his spot at Miami if he doesn’t quit slutting around.
Excuses to post this picture? You’re soaking in ‘em! It gets better, now: Brown’s own personal mishandler, Brian Butler, told the AP that he was “unaware” scholarship offers expired. Try and contain your shock; it’s unseemly. The rest of us, meanwhile, aren’t too wild about grown-ass men changing the pronunciation of their last name to shill for awards they don’t even win. Joe Theeeeesman does not care for your new-fangled snap notions. Blah blah Tim Tebow lacks fundamentals gimmick offense rinse spit repeat. Items We Require, Vol. 249C: From the makers of Bacon Salt, a spread even Joey Sunshine would love. Quoth they: “Everything should taste like bacon.” You’re welcome. |
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1
DevilGrad says:
Re the Head Pirate, contract law isn’t my Group 5 specialty (I’m part of Group 5.GEEK, aka, the tax bar), but it struck me as highly unusual. At this point, I think the Tech trustees are tired of the free-booting, buccaneering, and constant search for strange ass and are trying to force a divorce that they can blame on Leach.
February 18th, 2009 at 9:40 am
2
Marshawn Lynch's Injury Cart says:
Did Bryce Brown steal that shirt from Justice’s D.A.N.C.E. video shoot?
February 18th, 2009 at 9:47 am
3
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
This whole Brian Butler situation has afterschool special written all over it.
February 18th, 2009 at 9:48 am
4
Just another Michigan Man says:
Baconnaise?
Baconnaise?!?!
Why does my chest hurt now
February 18th, 2009 at 9:50 am
5
cowtown says:
So, is Theismann going to bankroll an NFL Development league all by his lonesome? Because otherwise, last time I checked, the point of college football was to win games, not grow NFL players in vats. Wake me when Roger Goodell starts complaining about college players. Until then, the Toronto Argonaut reject can continue fellating Sam “One good quarter vs. TCU, Can’t beat UT or UF” Bradford.at
February 18th, 2009 at 10:00 am
6
Phocion says:
Follow the links and you get to this bit of information on Clay Travis’ site:
“His third book, On Rocky Top, will focus on the University of Tennessee’s 2008 season. This means that Travis has thousands of dollars riding on each UT game in terms of future book sales. But he will not be nervous about this. Not at all. ”
Boy, I can hardly wait for that book…
February 18th, 2009 at 10:02 am
7
Bryce2DaU (just Not AU) says:
Please, please stop considering AU.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:04 am
8
CincySooner says:
#1 If that’s the case then the Tech Powers that Be are even dumber than I thought. Cap’n Mike has done nothing but elevate their program and the man should be able to name his terms. They should have known better than to sneak some legalese past a football coach WITH A FREAKIN’ LAW DEGREE. Methinks the Tech administration invoked the right of parlay with the wrong pirate.
If they want to go back to fighting for third place in the BigXII South with Aggie and Aggie Lite then be my guest.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:05 am
9
CincySooner says:
#4
available on eBooks for $2.99 plus tax.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:06 am
10
austin dave says:
@ 3
“Saved by the Bell: A Very Special Episode.”
February 18th, 2009 at 10:09 am
11
now_a_hoo says:
Also chiming in re: Head Pirate (though employment contracts aren’t what I do either): it sounds like something you ask for when you’ve got a guy over a barrel. For the next year or so (since the coaching carousel has stopped), they (the university) do have a lot of power, and want to show it. Pretty strange though. I wonder if they’re also trying to get him to lose his Mike Gordon haircut.
Anyway, it’s not something you’d do when trying to lure the Pats’ OC away so you can have a Decided Schematic Advantage, it’s something you do when a guy is asking for a raise without much of a threat that he’ll go anywhere.
Also: SEC blogger pet peeve: the ACC has a Raycom game as well, so Raycom is notYES or SNY, it’s more like MASN (two organizations, and for junkies only).
Double Also: re: Clay’s Layla argument: if Kiffykins’d coached the Giants, we’d have known who she was, just like we’d still be in the dark if he was the new coach at Kentucky, Vandy or Missy State.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:11 am
12
CincySooner says:
#5
Why so bitter towards Bradford?
February 18th, 2009 at 10:12 am
13
GamecockTony says:
The “testimonials” on the Baconnaisse site are priceless:
“I could eat that with a spoon! Steven K.”
Somewhere, Steven’s cardiologist books a Costa Rican vacation.
“This is one of those inventions, like the wheel or the incandescent light bulb, that will forever change the landscape of our culture.”
— John Campanelli, Cleveland Plain Dealer
/that’s got to be sarcasm, right?
February 18th, 2009 at 10:14 am
14
cocknfire says:
What I still don’t get: Texas Tech has found the most successful coach in its history, and they are trying to keep him from leaving in the future, so they’re going to make it more likely that he leaves now, or at best when his contract is up.
Yes, that makes sense.
Is everyone at Tech insane?
February 18th, 2009 at 10:17 am
15
Holly says:
Programming note: No one bother trying to be funny the rest of the day, as the comment of the year has already been awarded (#28). Thanks very much for coming out, and best of luck next time.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:19 am
16
Texy says:
Sincerely, thanks for the lil’ tribute to Noble Doss – with Rooster Andrews thrown in for good measure – sniff!
February 18th, 2009 at 10:29 am
17
Oregeron eats raw onions says:
Theismann is still a damn gimp. I’d love for LT to hit him again.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:30 am
18
Doug says:
Bryce Brown was already pinging my Willie Williams Signature Edition Recruiting Bust-O-Meter something fierce, but that shit just went redline. Seriously, why would he need the services of a dumbfuck like Brian Butler if he were actually any good?
February 18th, 2009 at 10:40 am
19
DevilGrad says:
Re #15: Oliver Wendell Holmes may not have expressed himself politely in Buck v. Bell, but the man *did* have a point.
[/joke for the Group 5ers]
February 18th, 2009 at 10:42 am
20
cowtown says:
#12
I think he’s a bit overrated, his failures this season played into the broader theme of the comment, and I’m no fan of OU, but that was comment was Enhanced for Commenting Fun™.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:49 am
21
Raider Red says:
The amount of arrogance on both sides has been astounding, especially since it’s in the best interests of everyone to ensure Mike Leach is the head coach at Tech for the next few years. The fact that Leach does have two years left on his existing deal has made both the administration and Leach feel like they can play hardball, but this whole thing is a lesson in how NOT to do a contract negotiation.
The outside income clause shouldn’t be that big a deal, since Leach generated only $10,000 last year. Tech recently signed a deal with Learfield to do marketing and advertising, so the administration obviously thinks they can do better. Or it’s just a bargaining chip.
I’d like to see both sides split their differences and be done with this whole thing, before it’s used against us in recruiting.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:52 am
22
Coop says:
Texas Tech’s desired stipulation is not a legal issue, in the sense that it would not be unenforcable if Leach were to agree to it. It is not as if Leach would be signing the deal under duress.
The non-leal issue appears to be is if this is standard operating practice. I am not Jimmy Sexton, but the answer is, no, coaches generally do not sign away their endorsement money, even though they earn this money as a direct result of coaching for whatever school. Most contracts for coaches of Leach’s stature and above stipulate that whatever the coach makes hawking Golden Flake potato chips, or whatever Nike or Adidas gives the coach as the coach of the school, goes to the coach. Some schools even pay their coaches to make appearances at booster clubs.
Where it gets interesting is the summer camp issue. Logically, most schools want a cut of the profits from the camps, which use to be one of the larger money generators for coaches before Nike came in and started paying K and Dean Smith millions of dollars.
Several of the higher profile coaches now get most to all of the profits generated from the summer camps, and some only have about 2 hours of face time with the campers for the week. Nice work if you can get it. I have always heard that several of the basketball coaches supplement their assistants’, specifically the restricted earnings’ assistants in basketball, salaries with the camps, but that may also be a thing of the past.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:56 am
23
now_a_hoo says:
DevilGrad:
um, wow. Though I guess there’s a Bowden joke there somewhere. I’m not touching it.
February 18th, 2009 at 11:06 am
24
hobeg8r says:
Holly – I know you don’t want anyone to try to be funny after the bonehead comment and all…but I stole this posting from Gator Country and it seemed funny to me. Another Lane Kiffykins tribute from a Bama fan.
Lane Kiffin meets with Hamilton
By tidefan, on February 16th, 2009
[Interior: A booth by the window at a Sevierville Waffle House. Mike Hamilton sits alone nervously peeking out the window, obviously waiting for someone. We first hear the exaggerated roar of a motorcycle, then a few seconds later see Lane Kiffin pull up on a Harley Davidson. Lane drops into the booth opposite Hamilton.]
LK: What’s up, bro-Ham. [laughs at his own joke]
MH: Lane, we’ve talked about this. You have to wear a helmet in Tennessee.
LK: Do you think Nick Saban wears a helmet?
MH: I don’t think Nick Saban rides a motorcycle at all.
LK: Damn right. I took his motorcycle.
MH: [sighs] Listen…we’ve got some things we need to discuss.
[a waitress approaches the table to take their order. After a second, she recognizes Hamilton]
waitress: Back so soon, Mike?
MH: [chuckles nervously] Heh heh, just can’t get enough of your coffee, Denise.
LK: I don’t have time for chit-chat, doll. I’ll take the California rolls, extra wasabi.
waitress: Sir, this is Waffle House. We don’t have that. Do you want some more time to look at the menu?
LK: Do you think Urban Meyer orders from the menu? Now, go get me my sushi.
waitress: [Starts to say something]
LK: Why are you still here? Last person that hesitated after I gave them an order was Mike Hamilton and I shot him three times…in the face.
[Waitress just stares at Mike Hamilton in disbelief. He looks at her with apology in his eyes and shakes his head]
MH: He’ll have a double order, scattered, covered and chunked. Just coffee for me.
LK: Yeah, my man here knows what I need and he makes it happen.
[Waitress disappears back behind the counter]
LK: So what the hell are we doing out here in the middle of nowhere?
MH: Too many reporters back at the Athletic Department.
LK: Are you kidding? Dude, I love reporters!
MH: Yeah, about that…
[Waitress comes back with coffee]
LK: How’s that sushi coming?
MH: Lane, you’re having hash browns.
LK: You’re fired.
waitress: Is he talking to you or me?
MH: Nobody is fired. Lane, stop talking.
[Lane grabs a woman walking by]
LK: Hey. Make sure our waitress here doesn’t spit in my sushi. I don’t trust her.
woman: Dude, I don’t work here.
LK: Ha! Ran another one off! These rednecks just can’t handle the intensity. You know what pisses me off?
MH: Couldn’t even begin to fathom, Lane.
LK: We’re sitting in some hillbilly hole in the wall when we could be at a Chik-fil-A, but that whiny-ass Mark Richt got them shut down on Sundays.
MH: That’s not even remotely what happened….[refocuses] nor is it why we’re here. For the love of GOD, just shut up and listen for a minute.
LK: Talking about listening, did you hear that sweet engine on that bike? When are we going to take those training wheels off?
MH: The training wheels will come off when you demonstrate that you can get out of the parking lot without dumping the bike over.
LK: Oh hey! I’m gonna need a little spending cash this weekend. I’m gonna go hang out at USC with Bryce Brown. Show him how to have a good time in LA, you know what I mean? [whispers] Get him laid…
MH: You’re killing me, Lane. Seriously, I saw my cardiologist yesterday and he blames you.
LK: Your cardiologist needs to quit whining. I’m not here to hold your hand, I’m here to recruit.
MH: You’re here to win games .
LK: If it helps me recruit, you’re damn right I’m going to win games.
MH: The point is to win games, Lane.
LK: You aren’t paying me more than Nick Saban to worry about points.
MH: We aren’t paying you more…[resignedly] you’re right, Lane. Eat your hashbrowns.
February 18th, 2009 at 11:21 am
25
Counter Trap says:
Brian Butler, proof evolution works in reverse, too.
February 18th, 2009 at 11:34 am
26
etsuVol says:
Wherever Bryce Brown goes it looks more and more likely that he’s going to have a Maurice Clarrettish type of college career.
February 18th, 2009 at 11:52 am
27
Bobby Briggs says:
#24, instead of stealing, its nicer just to link to the original post. I’m sure 3sib would appreciate it.
http://www.3sib.com/2009/02/16/lane-kiffin-meets-with-hamilton/
February 18th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
28
Holly says:
Meaning Gator Country stole from 3SiB, to be fair.
February 18th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
29
CincySooner says:
fair enough cowtown…
Over-rated? Time will tell.
Failures? he didn’t have many this year, so I’ll take that too
I don’t know beans about NFL-style talent, but to imply that Bradford is no good is ludicrous. All but a couple of teams around the country would love to have him.
February 18th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
30
DevilGrad says:
Re #23: “I looked around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding.”
February 18th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
31
DrBundy says:
@ Devil Grad –
I’m picking nits, but I worked with them so I have to. It’s actually “Been around the world…”, not “I looked around the world…”. Minor technicality, but spend enough time on tour with a band and you get to know their lyrics.
February 18th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
32
Godfrey says:
If the SEC is the national power, Raycom is in charge of delivering asbestos-laden trailer homes and MREs to the Gulf Coast.
February 18th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
33
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
I am still waiting for Bacon Flavored K-Y Jelly, cause its greasy-greasy.
Who wants a deep fried yeast infection?
February 18th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
34
Studley says:
“So what does that make Raycom, exactly?”
The DuMont Network.
And if they’re not careful in protecting the ACC CFB TV contract, they’ll be left with basketball, after which we may see them broadcasting “Down You Go”.
(Then again, ACC hoops probably generate more than enough moolah to keep them going.)
February 18th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
35
www.southbendblarney.com says:
Normally, I wouldn’t like Bryce Brown jerking around a school, but it’s Miami-so it’s all good.
February 18th, 2009 at 11:36 pm