CURIOUS INDEX, 2/17/2009

by Holly Anderson on Feb 17, 2009 9:30 AM EST

Sweet wounded Jesus. Florida State, Where Talent Goes To Die, will be killing once-promising players off fast and furious in 2009, with eleven 2008 bowl teams on the schedule.

hang

...hang in there?

Mark Richt is a dirty damned liar. Or the NCAA is full of terrible small men who make terrible small rules. (Our tipster suggests Kiffykins show up at graduation in Richt's place. We could not agree with this plan more.)

A dodge worthy of that Wire headline. Is Nick Saban the next SEC coach ducking recruiting regulations? Eh. Maybe? We tire of these OOOOOH YOU IN TROUBLE NOW SON stories, and will default to Joel's position:

Yeah, so did Nick Saban violate the "bump" rule when he obtained a commitment from Memphis wide receiver Keiwone Malone? It's Saban. It's Alabama. We're Tennessee. So . . . OF COURSE HE DID!

There. We have a shortcut around this argument for the rest of the season. Onward.

Threet Matrix, we hardly knew ye. Steven "Embattled" Threet is making fast tracks out of Ann Arbor, surprising almost no one who saw him try and fit into RichRod's schemes in '08. We will leave the analysis to Brian Cook, however, and instead devote our afternoon to mourning the demise of our trusty stash of "Threet Level Midnight" jokes.

Because Hell does the damndest things to your merocrine glands, is his point. Former UW O-Line coach Dan Cozzetto, now of Arizona state, will return to Washington next season with the avowed mission of "toughing up the running game".

Cozzetto did not return calls made to his office late Thursday. His voice mail greeting ends with the line: "Remember, Devils don't sweat."

That's absolutely correct, sir. They glow. And if he can harangue linemen in Tempe out of sweating, notching a single win with the Huskies ought to be no problem at all.

Items We Require, Vol. XVII: We're declaring the pool officially open: Which team will get photographic evidence of one of these suckers in action first? Easy odds say Miami, Fresno State, and so on, but smart money's on Virginia, by virtue of there being nothing better to do.

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Might want to start calculating these for the Fulmer Cup:
Southern Miss –
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3911642&campaign=rss&source=NCFHeadlines

Florida-
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3912274&campaign=rss&source=NCFHeadlines

by Walrus on Feb 17, 2009 10:13 AM EST reply actions

Not only does Free Shoes have 11 bowl teams on the schedule, but in the one game w/ out a bowl team they get to play host to that notable, patriotic anti-terrorist, late-night Hyptnotiq & Coke drinker, THE 60 MILLION DOLLAR MF’IN MAN.

by yoyofutbawl on Feb 17, 2009 10:20 AM EST reply actions

As nicknames for Steven Threet go, I prefer “Sesame.” (Or “Thethame,” if you’d rather.)

by Doug on Feb 17, 2009 10:22 AM EST reply actions

The booze shot gun reminds me of the make-up gun Homer Simpson invented.

Hmmm, 9:30 in the morning and I’ve already referenced the Simpsons 3 times.

D’oh!

by Max Power on Feb 17, 2009 10:24 AM EST reply actions

You missed the best part of that Saban story, under the miscellany notes at the end:

“Overwhelmed by petty arrests the last two offseasons, senior linebacker Marcus Washington says Georgia players will be policing themselves this time around.”

Well, thank goodness for that, because we know that ALWAYS works.

by JD4AU on Feb 17, 2009 10:31 AM EST reply actions

Swindle, I’ve got a feeling your whole program is goin’ down.

by PeteyPablo on Feb 17, 2009 10:59 AM EST reply actions

We know Saban knows the rules. He knows them so well, they made rules about Saban.
Now whether getting his own XM/Sirius Channel, beaming it to the select recruits or Tweeting recruits is wrong during the dead period via 3rd party , we dont want to be right.
The Dramatic Bama Baby doesnt seem concerned:
http://www.twitpic.com/1j17g
(thats my latest addition, Carlen,2-12-09, and Holly, we will get those houndstooth shoes BTW..my wife says thanks. My mom is almost done with the Houndstooth hat.)

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Feb 17, 2009 11:16 AM EST reply actions

Meh, last I checked Florida State plays in the ACC, so their schedule can’t be too difficult…

by Pants McPants on Feb 17, 2009 11:34 AM EST reply actions

I’m pretty sure Fresno has had a homemade version of that thing for a while now. Last I heard they were working on a firehose concept.

by ClydeB on Feb 17, 2009 11:42 AM EST reply actions

More Curious Index: Timmy attends the Daytona 500 with the Ol’ Ball Coach himself. I wonder what they talked about. (Other than the beatdown last year).

http://www.gainesville.com/article/20090216/ARTICLES/902160938

by hobeg8r on Feb 17, 2009 11:48 AM EST reply actions

Speaking of Fulmer Cup action, I believe if you look at the Saban article again, we might be looking at another one man show this year. And if being a menace to society wasn’t enough, JoPierre Davis of Hawaii manages to make Flava Flav look like Denzel Washington. I mean, before you know it, we’ll have a game show where Flav is the prize.

Oh yeah. we already did that. Damn I hate America.

by masivatack on Feb 17, 2009 4:50 PM EST reply actions