FULMER CUP: MAUI OWIE

by Holly Anderson on Feb 16, 2009 3:16 PM EST

From the To Hell With Your "Geography", It Rhymes Department: It's too early yet to call this an Ellis T. Jones-caliber spree, but if the police reports hold up, Hawaii's JoPierre Davis has the early lead in this offseason's leaderboard of horrors.

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Photo via a preseason Honolulu Advertiser article referring to Davis as a "bruising junior from San Francisco". You don't say.

Putting this together...since late September, the happy-go-lucky Davis has allegedly:

---Sexually assaulted a coed in her dorm room,
---stolen items from that same room,
---punched the same girl in the face months later,
---and a club employee who got in the way,
---and when finally arrested, was carrying weed.

That's one count of burglary, one of sexual assault (maybe up to three, actually), potentially two more counts of assault, and possession. Double digits for Hawaii, easily, but we'll wait for the commish's return to tally this one up---bonus points for sheer volume may be in the offing.

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Should the sexual assault count since it occurred during football season is the question….

by Burton DeWitt on Feb 16, 2009 3:18 PM EST reply actions

The arrest took place in the offseason, which I think makes it OK, but we’ll wait for Swindle to rule. In any case, the assaults in the club and the drug charges were all in mid-January, so we’re still looking at a pretty impressive point total.

by Holly on Feb 16, 2009 3:21 PM EST reply actions

Bonus point for appearing stoned out of his fucking mind in that mug shot?

by Harris on Feb 16, 2009 3:26 PM EST reply actions

June Jones ran off nine players at SMU to make more room for guys like this. We’ll have to see whether his own recruiting takes hold fast enough to bear out my prediction of a top ten Fulmer finish for the Mustangs this year.

by DevilGrad on Feb 16, 2009 3:26 PM EST reply actions

He gets a triple word score for looking every bit the part of Rick James circa 1984. WHAT DID THE FIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE?

by poguemahone on Feb 16, 2009 3:30 PM EST reply actions

Bonus points for baing named JoPierre and not being from Louisiana.

by yoyofutbawl on Feb 16, 2009 3:33 PM EST reply actions

Dang, Coolio’s really let himself go.

by Geaux Irish on Feb 16, 2009 3:36 PM EST reply actions

Cocaine’s a helluva drug.

by AERose on Feb 16, 2009 3:42 PM EST reply actions

The guy in the mug shot was caught carrying drugs?

I’m shocked, SHOCKED!

by Techie on Feb 16, 2009 3:44 PM EST reply actions

Bonus awesome: That’s not even a mugshot. It’s his official Hawaii headshot from last year.

by Holly on Feb 16, 2009 3:51 PM EST reply actions

Love it when you’re at the helm, Holly. However, I must say that (being the Vawl that I am), if I were left in charge of a Florida fan’s blog while he went on vacation, I’d certainly take a few…liberties. Stevie and Danny up there would be taking a little vacation of their own, for starters.

by Vol on Feb 16, 2009 3:55 PM EST reply actions

Bonus points for wearing that damn shirt in public.

by fresh on Feb 16, 2009 3:59 PM EST reply actions

Hawaii football always reminds me of the team in “Necessary Roughness.”

by Texas_Dawg on Feb 16, 2009 4:09 PM EST reply actions

I’d have Magnum’s phone number on speed dial so this shit can quietly go away.

by BurritoBrosShits on Feb 16, 2009 4:22 PM EST reply actions

#13, are you referring to the TSU Armadillos or the State Pen team they scrimmaged?

by Raider Red on Feb 16, 2009 4:25 PM EST reply actions

Dog the Bounty Hunter is pissed he didn’t get a chance to catch him on camera. I guess we’ll have to wait till he skips a hearing for that.

by Crabapple Buck on Feb 16, 2009 4:33 PM EST reply actions

Thank goodness he wasn’t high for THIS picture.

by OhioDawg on Feb 16, 2009 4:49 PM EST reply actions

Southern Miss is on the board:

Southern Mississippi running back Damion Fletcher, the school’s all-time leading rusher, is charged with firing at least one gunshot while at an apartment complex, and another player faces a marijuana possession charge.

http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/story/11386099

by I R A Darth Aggie on Feb 16, 2009 5:14 PM EST reply actions

I don’t want to heap too much praise on Hawaii’s success just yet. With their schedule/women it might not take too much to rack up charges like this. I just don’t want to taut them as a great contender for the Fulmer Cup only to see them get their A$$ waxed by some SEC team.

by The Demps-Rainey Particle Accelerator on Feb 16, 2009 5:44 PM EST reply actions

If I am UH’s coach I’m using this as a recruiting tool: Hawai’i Football: Sun, Sand and Sexual Assault.

And weed. And bowl games against Notre Dame. And coke. Mounds of coke that rise higher than the cliffs of Waikiki!

by Jesus on Feb 16, 2009 6:13 PM EST reply actions

Given that Waikiki is just a slender spit of sand covered by hotels, it won’t take much to rise higher than its “cliffs”…

by Sparrow on Feb 16, 2009 6:16 PM EST reply actions

@ Jesus #20 (and 22?) -

Why not? Miami has been doing it for years!

/ducks

by DrBundy on Feb 16, 2009 7:08 PM EST reply actions

Did they find the joint in his dreads mon?

by DrStrangelove on Feb 16, 2009 8:32 PM EST reply actions

RaiderRed -

Going to play a game in Hawaii is like going to play the inmates in the prison yard. Even their fans are gangsta.

by JD on Feb 16, 2009 8:54 PM EST reply actions

We should count this guy as his own school, he could compete with any football team out there.

by roaminggator on Feb 16, 2009 10:29 PM EST reply actions

You can add some more points for Florida, as Carl Johnson was caught being being freaky is a bad stalkerish kind of way.

by meg on Feb 16, 2009 10:38 PM EST reply actions

Don’t laugh. The Gators are about to post some serious points.

by rtide on Feb 17, 2009 1:04 AM EST reply actions

Gators behaving, if not badly, then certainly as expected:

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3912274&campaign=rss&source=NCFHeadlines

by der schatten on Feb 17, 2009 4:06 AM EST reply actions

Dude, and I thought the Old Dirty Bastard died, is that one of his 23 kids?
I guess Dirty was collecting his money……

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Feb 17, 2009 11:09 AM EST reply actions

Don’t worry, the Vol’s are sure to represent soon.

by Baby Kiffy's Diaper Rash (No Wipes) on Feb 17, 2009 11:45 AM EST reply actions

@24… A bit too early to be giving out the Ellis T Jones III Award already, dontcha think?

Besides, by my math, he’s only in the 14 point neighborhood, which wouldn’t have won the award any of the previous years. Don’t worry, there will be a Jimmy John this year and this dude aint him.

by shawnoc on Feb 17, 2009 1:12 PM EST reply actions

Nobody told Seagal that Screwface was actually a set of triplets. I’m waiting to here about how he also has charges for going after people with jamaican swords.

by Seagal on Feb 18, 2009 12:29 AM EST reply actions