GREAT MEN UTILIZE NUDITY. ALWAYS.

by Orson on Feb 13, 2009 1:49 PM EST

You're damn right Woody Hayes did interviews in the nude. All great men at one point work in the nude in a non-sexual manner. Orde Wingate, mad chief of the Chindits in Burma in WW2, used to conduct meetings in the buff while cleaning himself with a brush. (Mike Bellotti does the same thing, but with a loofa and a toothbrush for the hard to reach places.) Lyndon Johnson would display his penis in Vietnam-era Oval Office briefings, point to it, and ask "Does How Chi Minh have this?" We ourselves never blog in the nude, a reason why this blog isn't three thousand times better than it is. We'll be sure to put this in beta testing after our vacation.

Woody Hayes nude: censored because he was illegally beautiful.

Go ahead and call him ugly, Leonard...

"If the team lost or tied, he would conduct an interview in the nude," said Downie, as reported in The Lantern. "He was an ugly guy so it would clear the locker room out pretty fast."

But can't you balance that with the kind of womanly compliment usually following a statement like this, as in "he was ugly...but Woody was always sexy," or "A post-loss nude Woody Hayes conference was like staring into the sun: so intense and powerful you could only endure a few seconds of its awesome grandeur?" Mighty uncharitable, as we're sure Professor Hayes, while lacking physical grandeur, had his own ramshackle physical charm about him. ("He has nice forearms! His eyes: have you seen his eyes?")

As opposed to a Pete Carroll nude press conference, where presumably reporters would leave in tears of joy and awe saying things like, "It was so...beautiful...", "like David, but better hung," and "It was like watching a new child enter the world, but without the shitting and hideous afterbirth."

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Comments

I…I…don’t know what to say. A complete story line on a topic that I have never, in all my life, considered. I’d say genius, but I just don’t know…I’ll have to get back to you…

by sb on Feb 13, 2009 2:12 PM EST reply actions

I too utilize nudity. Especially when taking a shower or having all too infrequent sexual encounters. Does that make me a great man? Please affirm it is so.

by BxTiger on Feb 13, 2009 2:30 PM EST reply actions

sb – I know what to say. I need eye bleach after reading that story. I think even the staunchest tOSU fan would be cringing right about now. Is Woody the same coach who would meet with the officials BEFORE a game in the buff? Now Pete Carroll – totally different story.

by hobeg8r on Feb 13, 2009 2:32 PM EST reply actions

Think if we reversed this and after a loss had the reporters do the interview in the nude. College basketball would be the number one sport in America thanks to Erin Andrews. Well…at least until she said “Back to you Dick Vitale.” On second thought…nevermind.

by JIMatUA on Feb 13, 2009 2:33 PM EST reply actions

“WOODY HAYES IS A MAN!!!!” [/gundy]

by vegas_buckeye on Feb 13, 2009 2:35 PM EST reply actions

this story would be a lot funnier if Mr Hayes’ first name was a euphemism for an erect penis

by vegas_buckeye on Feb 13, 2009 2:44 PM EST reply actions

(unabashed weeping)

(innocence ruined)

You owe the Universe big for this Orson. You better hope Holly comes strong with The Corrections today or karma will cut your Valentines weekend short with a meteor made of Sabanite.

by CincySooner on Feb 13, 2009 2:56 PM EST reply actions

Friday the 13th indeed…. damn you Orson.

by CincySooner on Feb 13, 2009 2:58 PM EST reply actions

NoMentalPicture, NoMentalPicture, NoMentalPicture,….ARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!

by boondoggle on Feb 13, 2009 3:18 PM EST reply actions

If Lane Kiffin ever does an interview everyone present will squint.

by intellidouche on Feb 13, 2009 3:23 PM EST reply actions

Chris Cooley accepts your nude blogging challenge, Orson.

by Double Eagle on Feb 13, 2009 3:24 PM EST reply actions

God, I hope Mangino doesn’t get any ideas from this story.

by yoyofutbawl on Feb 13, 2009 3:27 PM EST reply actions

Hittin that DRANK!!!

by OhioDawg on Feb 13, 2009 3:27 PM EST reply actions

Wait vacation, WHAT? What am I supposed to do during the day? Work?
damn damn

by Jonathan on Feb 13, 2009 3:37 PM EST reply actions

I’m sure DACOACHO would do EVERYTHING nude if not for an iron-clad clause in his contract.

by Harris on Feb 13, 2009 3:44 PM EST reply actions

Harris,

Probably only during work hours.

You can bet as soon as he hits the door at home his clothes are flying off of him at speeds approaching the speed of sound.

by CincySooner on Feb 13, 2009 4:06 PM EST reply actions

Hayes also occasionally met with the officials nude, before the game. His goal was to make everyone uncomfortable. Years later, it appears to still be working……time for my bleach shower.

by MikeLew on Feb 13, 2009 5:28 PM EST reply actions