KELLEN HEARD WANTS THE CHOO-CHOO, NOT TEH FUTBAWL

by Orson on Feb 12, 2009 1:07 PM EST

"I hope we've got the equipment to fit him." Those were Dennis Franchione's words when Texas A&M signed Kellen Heard, a defensive end prospect from Wharton High in Miami who signed with the 'Canes, then ditched the 'Canes to hang out on South Beach and take what he described as "a five month vacation," and then went on to have "work ethic issues" under two different coaches.

His most notable achievement as an Aggie was illegal, braindead, and endeared himself to Texas A&M fans forever: the latest late hit we can ever remember seeing on an already injured Colt McCoy in the 12-7 2006 upset of the Longhorns. BULL CHARGE.

Heard will have to hang his bid for free steaks forever in Texas on that one play, because he is forgoing football to complete his degree and pursue what may have been his dream all along: becoming a railroad engineer just like his mother. The BLS projects good prospects for the job over the next ten years thanks to retirement attrition. (The BLS's outlook for coaches? "very good," actually, though competition is "keen" at the highest levels. Keen is one word: "a struggle of ass-ripping intensity" is another.)

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Think he’ll have flashbacks and punch the accelerator when he sees a stalled car on the tracks in front of him?

by JD on Feb 12, 2009 1:17 PM EST reply actions

Not to threadjack or anything…but Kiffykins is back on the recruiting trail in South Florida – going after a UF commit (actually 2)…

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by hobeg8r on Feb 12, 2009 1:23 PM EST reply actions

I can picture him on Extreme Trains demonstrating how ignoring a signal creates a wreck. Someone should tell Mr. Heard what Judge Smails said to Danny Noonan, “The world needs ditch diggers too.”

by Crabapple Buck on Feb 12, 2009 1:26 PM EST reply actions

Correct link for Kiffykins

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/sports/content/shared-blogs/palmbeach/insidepreps/entries/2009/02/11/next_up_tenness.html

by hobeg8r on Feb 12, 2009 1:31 PM EST reply actions

‘ass-ripping intensity’ sounds like something you’d see on a voice balloon coming out of Boom Motherfucker’s mouth… speaking of BoMo, that’s just what this blog needs. MORE BOOM MOTHERFUCKER!!!

by ALGator on Feb 12, 2009 1:43 PM EST reply actions

If Heard does decide to return to the gridiron at A&M, maybe Mack Brown would consider reuniting Boom with Hugh Nall.

by sevenDs on Feb 12, 2009 3:44 PM EST reply actions

that’s a clean hit. the ball was picked so he blocked the qb. it’s not his fault colt is a ragdoll

by alanon on Feb 12, 2009 4:32 PM EST reply actions

Nice try Alanon. That ragdoll hung half a hundred on you a few months ago. Lube up again this Thanksgiving.

I understand why Aggies want to defend this. It is one of the few shining lights in 100 years of darkness. Defend away, but know you are just furthering the perceptions of A&M that the rest of the country arrived at a long time ago.

by RC didn't offer on Feb 12, 2009 8:40 PM EST reply actions

The people of Wharton, TX would like to express their dismay that their high school has been moved to Miami, and by they way, could they get their property taxes refunded?

As for the cheapness of the hit: The play was basically over, McCoy had clearly let up, and Heard hit him blind side. Other than that, completely clean.

by SteveInHouston on Feb 13, 2009 12:41 AM EST reply actions

That hit was within the rules. McCoy is just as much at fault for letting up when the play was still ongoing. It’s still a no class move by Heard though.

by mattain on Feb 13, 2009 12:43 PM EST reply actions