FULMER CUPDATE: THE X RECEIVER STANDS FOR XANAX

by Orson on Feb 11, 2009 1:08 PM EST

Xanax is fantastic stuff. Known off-brand as Alprozalam, Xanax is a prescription benzodiazapine used to treat depression and anxiety. If you're neither, taking one is like applying a sledgehammer to front of your skull. We took one immediately after closing on the house because we couldn't asleep; when we awoke, we had a long beard and erudite apes with British accents were in charge of the planet. Xanax, boy, don't play.

Neither will Oklahoma State receiver Bo Bowling after being arrested for felony drug possession with the nasty "intent to distribute" tag. Bowling was busted in possession of marijuana and Xanax, meaning Stillwater must be a far more stressful place than we imagined. Oklahoma fans: it's because of the packs of wolves roaming the streets! Oklahoma State fans: of course there aren't wolves roaming the streets. You prefer the term "Okie Porch Rushing Spaniel," and that's fine with us if it makes you happy.

According to Wikipedia, Xanax's side effects include aggression, mania, hallucinations, and depressed mood. Hmm...

This picture is not here. Nope.

Oklahoma State earns three points in the Fulmer Cup for the felony charge, though that is more of a placeholder than anything else: Bowling actually faces three charges, and if each is a felony then OSU could be awarded a total of nine points in all. Bowling has been suspended from the team pending the results of the criminal investigation, and seems remarkably and mysteriously relaxed about the whole affair.

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I know weed isn’t nearly as bad as crack, but I figured that intent to sell and possesion would be worth more.

by TideDruid on Feb 11, 2009 1:21 PM EST reply actions

You’re slipping Orson…
You let the low-hanging fruit of aliterative name-fun slip right past you.

“Bo Bowling” said fast enough nets you “Bobo-Ling”, the chinese pygmy gorilla on loan from the Beijing Zoo.

by CincySooner on Feb 11, 2009 1:35 PM EST reply actions

Bo Bowling is its own joke, no?

by Orson Swindle on Feb 11, 2009 1:36 PM EST reply actions

I first made my acquaintance with the benzodiazepine family of pharmaceuticals while getting prepped for major back surgery when I was 16. I was understandably nervous about having people wield instruments within millimeters of my spinal cord for eight hours, but then one of the OR nurses handed me a big ol’ horse pill with a letter V cut out of the center. The V, I later learned, was for “Valium,” and within five minutes I was so zoned out I would’ve let them operate on my brain or amputate limbs if they’d have asked me.

by Doug on Feb 11, 2009 1:53 PM EST reply actions

Given that my Bulldogs open up 2009 in Stillwater with a youngish secondary, please tell me there’s a chance this little venture was a partnership with Zac Robinson and Dez Bryant.

by MaconDawg on Feb 11, 2009 1:54 PM EST reply actions

Last seasons MVP, Jimmy Johns, laughs at your pitiful three felonies for weed and xanax. Now if Bo had been running an illegal Okie Porch Rushing Spaniel ring and selling multiple times to police officers it would be a different story.

by JIMatUA on Feb 11, 2009 1:54 PM EST reply actions

Doesn’t the Jimmy Johns rule come into effect for the potential point total?

by El Kabong!!! on Feb 11, 2009 1:56 PM EST reply actions

We are off to a great start…. and week and xanax seems like a good mix in Oklahoma…

by The Holy Grail on Feb 11, 2009 2:02 PM EST reply actions

OK, now—the wife and I watched Westminster last night and we didn’t see ANY “Okie Porch-Rushing Spaniels.” Are they an AKC-recognized breed? Because I bet they could kick that Sussex Spaniel’s ass…

by Dawg on Feb 11, 2009 2:11 PM EST reply actions

Can we get a revision on last year’s Fulmer Cup. Jerrard Tarrant of Georgia Tech just had his rape charges dropped.

by Bill on Feb 11, 2009 3:27 PM EST reply actions

Xanax always was a hit. Reminds me of that scene where Will Ferrell shoots himself with the Tranq Gun. “Yoouuurrrr Crazy Maannnn, youuurr crazzzzyyyy”
Thats what Xanax feels like. Talk about the game slowing down. The whole world slows its roll.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Feb 11, 2009 3:51 PM EST reply actions

Yeah Xanax and weed together make for a rather lazy day. Not that I would know. I prefer Soma and weed.

by Brizzle on Feb 11, 2009 4:19 PM EST reply actions

Fulmer Cup rules question:

Does GT get a credit this year for ALL charges against Tarrant being dropped (no pleas to lesser charges, etc)?

by gtne91 on Feb 12, 2009 11:05 AM EST reply actions

Oops, just read #10.

by gtne91 on Feb 12, 2009 11:06 AM EST reply actions

What is up with Georgia Tech fans wanting retro-active credit for last years charges? Does Mizzou get to go back and get credit for the fifth down that Colorado was given in 1990? HELL NO!!! The Fulmer Cup is all about getting arrested and charges being filed not innocence or guilt. Now if Tarrant went out and raped another girl (odds at 1:4) you might be able to argue double jeapordy but that is about all the legal footing you have.

by JIMatUA on Feb 12, 2009 12:57 PM EST reply actions