FULMER CUP: COUNTRY ROADS LEAD TO DUI FOR WVU

by Orson on Feb 10, 2009 12:14 PM EST

Jock Sanders, West Virginia wide receiver, was arrested for DUI over the weekend after failing several field sobriety tests and blowing a 0.12 BAC--not hammered by any stretch of the imagination and several miles from Alex Boone-land, but still well over the legal limit of .08 and enough for charges. Bill Stewart needs more information and will deal with things appropriately, etc.

The entire point of this post is twofold, actually. First, we would like to award West Virginia two points for standard, non-driving-through-houses DUI. Welcome to the board, gentlemen: unlike your offense last year, the Mountaineers have no problems scoring in the Fulmer Cup early. Second, we would like to point and laugh at the important and dramatic local news graphic accompanying the story.

LOOK AT THOSE KEYS!!! They're hanging like the hands of fate itself over our very heads! They must be six feet across each. If not for them and the words DRUNK DRIVING in the graphic, we'd have no idea what this story was about, WOWK-13. Top gear, there.

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Hey, how about some Sun Belt love for Louisiana-Monroe’s Fulmer Cup entry? Their first?

by Brian O'Blivion on Feb 10, 2009 12:24 PM EST reply actions

It’s about time my pre-season pick scored. Damn, it’s been a month.

by DevilGrad on Feb 10, 2009 12:33 PM EST reply actions

Great comment in the article about the ULM arrest:

He must be related to Ryan Perilloux in some way.

That’s gold.

by Brian O'Blivion on Feb 10, 2009 12:38 PM EST reply actions

Don’t worry DevilGrad, it’s still too cold in West Virginia to get into any real trouble. They will make their move when summer comes. Keep the faith!!

My Prediction: PAIN!!!!
I mean…West Virginia takes the Fulmer Cup by at least 7 points

by JIMatUA on Feb 10, 2009 12:47 PM EST reply actions

Cops in Monroe must be lazy. He broke into two cars, so he should have two counts of burglary. They just didn’t want to do the paperwork.

Are all BAC’s to be compared to “viking drunk” Alex Boone? Not complaining, just saying. I like the comparative aspect. Is it a defense usable in court? i.e.

defendant – Well judge, I wasn’t as drunk as Alex Boone.

judge – OK, I’ll give you that. Boys will be boys. Run along now, and don’t let me see you in this courtroom again!

by Crabapple Buck on Feb 10, 2009 12:51 PM EST reply actions

West Virginia has wide receivers?

by Teddy Dupay on Feb 10, 2009 12:56 PM EST reply actions

The Monroe kid should get a bonus point for being awesomely named “Antron.”

by NRBQ on Feb 10, 2009 1:06 PM EST reply actions

(insert “in West Virginia, a .012 BAC means you’re mildly buzzed” joke here)

by JD on Feb 10, 2009 1:08 PM EST reply actions

Um, that’s 0.12. Freaking decimals.

by JD on Feb 10, 2009 1:27 PM EST reply actions

im from WV, i had a .12 when i was born, but momma said that my cousin Alex had a .36 so that made me the runt, im thirsty

by corn cobb pipe on Feb 10, 2009 1:46 PM EST reply actions

WVU never dissapoints in the off-season… never… Viking Drunk = Alex Boone…. Vikings around the world are offended to be labeled with a former Buckeye in any way.

It is a good start though… snow almost gone in Iowa (yeah right) and the Fulmer cup to warm the cockles during the last stages of a Viking (yes we drink a lot) Winter.

Waiting for the Hawkeyes to make their presences knows…. it gets cold Saturday nigth leaving the bars in Iowa City….

Peace out people!

by The Holy Grail on Feb 10, 2009 1:50 PM EST reply actions

Shouldn’t Antron get extra points for being busted by campus police?

by jacketexan on Feb 10, 2009 1:54 PM EST reply actions

yeah, they’re the ones that run in from the sides of the formation BEFORE taking the handoff.
The running backs are the ones that don’t start running until AFTER they get the ball.

by CincySooner on Feb 10, 2009 2:03 PM EST reply actions

Not only was he busted by campus police, he couldn’t even use the “it wasn’t me” defense. They got him on tape:

Police showed Mason video of the break-ins, and he reportedly confessed.

Don’t fuck around with ULM cops.

by Brian O'Blivion on Feb 10, 2009 2:05 PM EST reply actions

Antron = insects pulled into a computer world with goofy speed bikes that make walls?

by Yinka Double Dare on Feb 10, 2009 2:27 PM EST reply actions

Nick Saban doesn’t have time for this ULM shit. Again.

by yoyofutbawl on Feb 10, 2009 2:31 PM EST reply actions

That graphic may be even more clever than you think! Is it just me or does the key chain look way too much like handcuffs to be an accident? If intentional, that’s pretty good.

But regardless, their little graphic will never compare to the OMG STORMWATCH ’09 TEAM COVERAGE AAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH1 graphics every station here in SoCal has to run whenever that wet stuff falls out of the sky.

by JTG on Feb 10, 2009 4:51 PM EST reply actions

guess that makes them the ‘sword’ of damokeys

by I'm A Lasagna Hog on Feb 10, 2009 5:06 PM EST reply actions

@12 I don’t know, if you can’t outrun the campus cops shouldn’t that take away points.

@17 That’s nothing to the graphics we’ve been running in Arkansas with the ice storm from Hell a couple of weeks ago. Tornados, we’re used to, you say flurries, it’s panic time so imagine what we’ve done with 3 inches of ice.

by Running Joe Rides Again on Feb 10, 2009 5:14 PM EST reply actions