CURIOUS INDEX, 2/10/2009

Another example of the man keeping fat people down.

Paul Finebaum is a douchebag. Kiffin will be a great coach. Tennessee should give him at

least 10 years to get on the right track.

Please O Lord, don’t let Tenuhhhcee fire Hello Kiffy yet. We can’t lose our #1 comedy routine.

You got to admit that while mitch albom may be an idiot, finebaum is delusional to the point where it’s cute and funny.

good lord, Kiffin says a couple of things and all hell breaks loose. these writers are making ur conference look like a drama queen. why dont yall just wait till football and then take ur revenge out then?

Finebaum: SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN!

Seriously, can you remember the last time the offseason has been this intruiging? The great part is, a lot of UT fans are saying L.K. is doing all of this on purpose. That this is all some grand plan to draw attentioon back to the Volunteer football program.

BUZZER SOUND Wrong!! :D

Also, I love Finebaum’s “logic.” He gives no reason for the dismissal other than the calling Urban Meyer a cheater (which was actually kind of funny) and that other talking heads say he is “Insane Lane.”

Out of the five parts of an argument, he gave one.

I’m confused, the waistline-endowed are unwelcome in Cinci, but pasta, chili and a pound of cheese is considered a reasonable lunch?

Dear Alanis Morrissette: If you’re looking for a primer on what irony really is, it’s a supposed recruiting genius calling out a coaching rival for recruiting violations that were not actually violations, then getting busted for committing recruiting violations of his own. That shit puts rain on your wedding day to shame. Signed, The SEC.

Nah, they’re not excommunicating the fat interior linemen in Cincy. They’re just moving them all to nose tackle and staging a competition to see who can be biggest.

I mean, the 3-4 works best with a live moose in the middle. Just look at Alabama from last year.

Fire a coach before he ever coaches a single game? Why that hasn’t happened since, what, 2003? I <3 the SEC.

And poor U-Dub. Just when they think they’ve hit rock bottom they just keep on digging. Does the NFL really possess that much more stature than CFB, so much that someone would jump at the chance to work for Count Al? Or is UW really that far down the well?

This video kinda sums up how I feel now that CFB season is over. O – you have 4 eyes. Thank God Insane Lane is keeping my mind occupied.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-bNunsWkIw

“sizists”…I like it. But it is apparent that the young Spartan player depicted has gotten away with the consumption of one whole calf at a single sitting just prior to practice…quite a feat.

I think after this season, coaches around the SEC will be taking up collections to pay for Lane Kiffins contract extention. You can’t buy comedy gold like this. It was like Coach O challenged Lane Kiffin’s machismo, daring him to say it…like….“You aint got a hair on your ass if you dont call our Urban Meyer for trying to pull that shit…You gonna let Urban Meyer do that to you? Embarrass you like that?..You let him get away with this one, the whole SEC will laugh at you…..they will walk over you day and night…..I dare you…I double dog dare you!…hell aint nobody here but the Boosters, aint nobody gonna know, go ahead….chicken?….” the rest, they say, is history…..so Paul Finebaum, leave Lane Kiffin alone….we want at least 10-12 losses over the next 2 season……Ole Miss hired a Southern Cal assistant as a head coach a few years back…..and he is on this staff, so how did that work out? Pretty soon, USC is gonna get a rep for being a “rogue” program since half the former staff keep forgetting the rules when recruiting, kinda like recruit them hard since secondary violations are really rules of inconvience, just say you are sorry, then move on like nothing happened. Admit to nothing.

What is sad is that guy can still outrun me.

@Doug My journalism major roommate in undergrad used to sing that line as…

“its like mas-ter-bating, on your wedding day.”

which again, really would be ironic.

I’m a regular here at EDSBS and I generally think our pals Orson and Holly are some pretty funny cats. But man, Finebaum makes y’all seem about as funny as childhood leukemia. I mean, DAMN, that there is “Hee Haw” funny. I . . .what? Serious? He can’t possibly be serious? What kind of asshole . . . Oh. That kind of asshole. He did? Really? Damng. I thought I’d found a great new source for for “teh funnay” during my workday.

Finally a day without somebody pitching a fit and whining for an apology from Kiffin.

This time only a fit was pitched.

“But Price’s much-publicized encounter in Pensacola now seems tame compared to what “Lame” has done."

Really? I think it’s hard to compare the two, like apples and oranges.
Or melons and I guess.

What is Kelly doing? I thought his defense had improved considerably, and now he wants to change systems altogether?

Lane Kiffin in drag is probably 100x more attractive than Holly Rowe

Is it just me, or does Orgeron-speak occasionally sound a lot like Jar-Jar Binks ?

Ok people, I’m as irritated by Kiffin as the next guy, but Finebaum is an idiot, and he looks like a penis. So too much shit talking is worse than getting caught with a hooker? Really? I talk a lot of shit, but had I known I could have instead been getting the Flying Buttress at the asian spa all these years, I may have re-prioritized some things.

Jackldawg – Yes, that’s a reasonable lunch in these parts. If you’re looking for some variety, you can have three hot dogs – cook mine on a griddle, please – with that same chili, mustard – give me extra mustard – and onions. Topped with a pound of cheese. But I got mine with water and crackers, so it’s lo-cal.

This might not be the optimal time for U.C. to lose the D.C., what with 10 out of 11 defensive starters leaving.

@13 I find your lack of faith disturbing….or something.

Is there a betting line on how long it will take LSU Freek to provide a fake “Hello Kiffin” Facebook page?

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Hello-Kiffin/48078561383?sid=d174d918cbc7cb2707ed211d9e3d7fc2&ref=s

With apologizes to LSU Freek, and EDSBS

@23.

Bottom line is that Mike Price isn’t persona non grata in the most fertile recruiting territory in these United States. Hookers? No big deal. But tell a community they can’t use a fax machine, well then, you just keep your goldbricken ass the f*** out of Malibu.

Both Kiffin and Finebaum are both genius. They make a few grand statements, and they become all that idiots like us talk about. Who cares if your are loved or hated as long as your talked about?

3-4 defenses have one less fatty, but their fatties are fatter. A nosetackle + 2 defensive tackles = fat. I don’t know where people are getting the idea that a 3-4 has 2 DE’s. A 3-4 is (usually) two gap defense, meaning the d. linemen are each responsible for two of the holes between offensive linemen (as opposed to a 4-3, which is always 1 gap and involves the linebackers covering gaps). Anyway, there aren’t many DE’s who could outmuscle two much larger offensive linemen to plug two gaps.

/geek