CURIOUS INDEX, 2/9/2009

by Orson on Feb 9, 2009 9:35 AM EST

VIVA VIVA VIVA! USC's band always wins at cards, too:

"250 pounds of concrete cyanide." This is Jon Gruden's description of Tim Tebow, an especially lyrical bit of language considering its source brain has not slept more than four hours since adolescence, and is probably functioning ten to twenty points below max capacity as a result of sleep deprivation. This is complimentary and completely factual, and makes you think Gruden is sane. Ahem.

I want to go to Al Groh's camp in Virginia. I love the way Al Groh coaches that football team.

Early onset dementia: it'll show up one way or another, one day or another. Gruden claims he wants to learn more about the spread offense, especially Chip Kelly's system at Oregon, so he can go back to the pros, ignore it, and begin every series with an I-Formation run for one and a half yards.

You have angered the Pahokee Chamber of Commerce. Prepare for hell. Further apologies from Lane Kiffin, who blabbed about tradecraft in public regarding the recruitment of Nu'Keese Richardson and the staff's insistence on Richardson's aunts using a junior high's fax machine instead of Pahokee High's, because, you know...things happen.

"They didn't go do it at the school because they knew somebody at the school was going to screw it up, the fax machine wouldn't work or they would have changed the signatures. All the things that go on in Pahokee, now.

Milt Bearden would not be proud, Lane. Not at all. Kiffykins has apologized, saying he was really excited after all the recruiting, and a bit dazed from getting into a whole pack of Pixie Sticks and then finding out someone MADE A WEBSITE FOR HIM 'N EVRYTHANG. (HT: Blutarsky.)

Coaches Who Are Lawyers Tend to Notice These Things. Leach and Texas Tech are at loggerheads over the coach's contract--so much so that Mike Leach's agent is channeling Samuel Johnson:

In a follow-up letter, Myers accused Baldwin of insubordination because he contacted board members directly. Baldwin's last letter to Myers, dated Jan. 28, had a sharp retort.

"Just to be clear, in order to insubordinate, you first need to be subordinate," Baldwin wrote. "IMG is retained by Coach, not by Texas Tech; and thus IMG cannot be insubordinate to Texas Tech."

If Leach's endless flirtations with other schools weren't an indication of some kind of low-grade restlessness, this certainly won't tamp down the overall impression that Leach is bored and discontented. Pirates have no anchors. Also, you might not want to dick around on the terms of a contract with a coach with a law degree. He knows how to read those things.

Stop, coach. I like my ligaments. Andre Debose is already trying to shake the "next Percy" line, if only to stop the football gods from cursing him with endless, Harvin-esque injuries. When he steps off a curb and sprains a pec, we'll know the curse is alive and well.

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I’m not entirely sold on that IMG agent’s subordinate/insubordinate arguemnt. He is acting as Leach’s agent and thus, theoretically, can do only what Leach himself could do legally/ethically.
Nevermind, my hypothesis is shit because it attempts to hold a sports agent to an ethical standard.

by Agent Zero on Feb 9, 2009 9:46 AM EST reply actions

firelanekiffin.com is already taken, though kiffykins.com, kiffkins.com, and hellokiffin.com are not.

by BurritoBrosShits on Feb 9, 2009 10:08 AM EST reply actions

I too love the way Al Groh coaches his team.

Winners of 1 of the last 10.

by I'm A Lasagna Hog on Feb 9, 2009 10:14 AM EST reply actions

Isn’t the “Percy Position” really what the “Rocket Role” used to be in recruiting?

by LSUFreek on Feb 9, 2009 10:24 AM EST reply actions

Leach has torched a bonfire of goodwill that he earned on November 1st:

1. Getting cornholed by OU.
2. Struggling with Baylor.
3. Visiting UW about their job.
4. Being totally unprepared for the Cotton Bowl.
5. Having his agents act like total assclowns.

The consensus among Red Raider fans is “he better sign that contract, or else hit the road, buddy.” I am inclined to agree.

by Raider Red on Feb 9, 2009 10:36 AM EST reply actions

Was that some kind of reverse flip with a triple gainer inside ironic joke by Radiohead? Don’t get me wrong, it’s less likely to be embarrassing over the long term than Fleetwood Mac.

Still, the performance last night could have been improved had the band been wearing the 70s style uniforms from the Tusk video.

by DC Trojan on Feb 9, 2009 11:07 AM EST reply actions

Thank you jebus, for Radiohead. That is all.

by Brian O'Blivion on Feb 9, 2009 11:22 AM EST reply actions

thank god for ‘hello kiffin’ – he is the basement upon which other SEC coaches stand. Now if Chizik can only get out of the stairwell and up to the 1st floor….

by WarChiziken on Feb 9, 2009 11:24 AM EST reply actions

By the simple act of playing a song in 5/8 time, Radiohead probably made the heads of about 90% of the other attending musicians’ heads asplode. For instance, what are the chances that Lil’ Wayne had any idea it was possible to do a song in anything other than four? Maybe 2 percent?

by Year2 on Feb 9, 2009 11:24 AM EST reply actions

That was one of the worst Grammy’s in recent memory.

I was dumbfounded by the Radiohead thing. Am I to old to be hip or was that just 3:30 of incomprehensible mess?

BTW, whoever mixed that show ruined the only good part. When B.B., Buddy, and company did the Bo Diddley thing, you couldn’t hear the solos.

And let me be the first to say this out loud. The Allison Krauss, Robert Plant album is drivel. I am a huge fan of both but “Raising Sand” is a waste of time. I own the album and didn’t even listen to the whole thing once.

It just lays there. She doesn’t rock and he doesn’t Bluegrass. What’s the point of that.

It’s like you took Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan and had them do a cooking video!

Sorry, I feel better now.

by PeayHog on Feb 9, 2009 11:26 AM EST reply actions

At least Radiohead and the SC band sounded like they had rehearsed together before they went on stage. A few years ago a member of the Offspring got the idea to use the SC band at the last minute for the KROQ acoustic Xmas show. They went out and started playing the song (The Kid’s Aren’t Alright) in a different keys and it was a total clusterfuck.

by oc phil on Feb 9, 2009 11:33 AM EST reply actions

Ok. So I still like Radiohead. Burning my “too cool card” now.

by robert on Feb 9, 2009 11:34 AM EST reply actions

PeayHog, you make interesting points. But if you’re actually expecting something worthwhile from the Grammys in 2009, I cannot feel bad for you. Surely you have better things to do than watch the Grammys for Jebus’ sake. What are your takes on the most recent Daytime Emmys?

by twogreattastes on Feb 9, 2009 11:35 AM EST reply actions

Thank you, Lame Hello Kiffin for bringing some sunshine to the next six+ months of non-football hell.

Withdrawl is so bad that I actually watched the Pro Bowl yesterday. The Grammys still exist?

by yoyofutbawl on Feb 9, 2009 11:40 AM EST reply actions

Trying to think of something funny to say involving Susan Lucci.

C’mon brain!

Oh who am I kidding. I got nuthin.

by PeayHog on Feb 9, 2009 11:46 AM EST reply actions

Good point Year2 about the time signature.
I don’t give a shit about the Grammys either, but Radiohead is still pure genius. Alot of people don’t get their music, and that’s fine. Rush was for a long time considered an alt band, and they used alot of unusual time signatures as well. Check out A Farewell to Kings and YYZ for examples.

by Brian O'Blivion on Feb 9, 2009 11:48 AM EST reply actions

I keep thinking, ‘Can Kiffykins be that stupid?’ I keep coming up with, yes, yes he can be that stupid. When digging a hole, you stop when you hit rock bottom. He continues to dig.

by Crabapple Buck on Feb 9, 2009 11:55 AM EST reply actions

Hey now, wait a minute. By my count this increases the SC Band repetoire to 3 songs…“Fight On!” and “Tusk” being the others. Smells like acheivement to me.

by Phocion on Feb 9, 2009 1:13 PM EST reply actions

Phocion, don’t be ridiculous – you left off “Tribute to Troy,” that’s four songs now.

by DC Trojan on Feb 9, 2009 2:26 PM EST reply actions

@10

Concur on that Plant/Krauss disc. It’s a collision of things that just shouldn’t be introduced to each other. (Reminds me of the time I saw a drunkard in a kilt and a gold helmet arguing toe-to-toe with a guy covered in orange body paint at the UT-Notre Dame game a few years ago, but I digress…)

by Flatlander on Feb 9, 2009 2:52 PM EST reply actions