YOU WANT PEOPLE STEALING YOUR FLATSCREENS.

by Orson on Feb 5, 2009 12:30 PM EST

Doug Marrone's got a crap job. First, he's gonna find that drawer full of half-eaten sandwiches Greg Robinson left in his desk, and it just so happens GERG not only couldn't resist the siren song of Five...five....five dollar footlooooong, he had a weakness for the seafood salad sub in particular. (Asshole.)

Second, he must begin to cremate the dead and make livable again the besotten grounds of the Syracuse football program. At this point, Marrone has little but good vibes to bring to the table, but at least he's got whole corpse-carts full of it at this point after bringing in the 116th ranked recruiting class in the nation and seeing important recruits poached by other schools:

"I was telling our coaches," Marrone said at his press conference Wednesday. "This is great, this is what you want. You want people to come back in on some of your recruits. It makes you feel better about your recruits and that you've gotten the right players."

You want people stealing your shit. It means it's valuable, dammit. That man crawling from your back window hauling a flatscreen out with both hands isn't stealing--he's saying "Nice job, sir, on acquiring the good things you have (now I'll be taking this.)" Godspeed, Doug Marrone: the first step is saying "Not everything is on fire," even if it is indeed completely engulfed in flames.

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…and then four years later this happens.

http://www.nunesmagician.com/2009/2/2/745113/and-here-s-to-you-greg-rob

/shameless plug

by Johnny on Feb 5, 2009 12:47 PM EST reply actions

I think our walk-ons were ranked 112.

by Crabapple Buck on Feb 5, 2009 12:52 PM EST reply actions

Maybe the ’Cuse could just let Beohiem coach the team, and he could always have on over-tattooed white dude as the captain. Seems to be working for the bball team. And really, a 2-3 zone is probably better defense than theyve played in years up there anyhow!

by beckett929 on Feb 5, 2009 12:56 PM EST reply actions

Man, Orson, you’re slipping. Haven’t you seen the commercial where they spell out the progression of the “Five Dollar Footlong” in excruciating, agonizing detail?

It’s:

“Five…. Five dolla… Five dolla fooolooooooong”.

For shame, good sir. Crappy advertisements are a bedrock tradition of this great nation, how dare you disrespect the advertising campaign that seems like a drunken frat boy slapped together at the last minute after banging his boss’ daughter.

by Not You on Feb 5, 2009 1:11 PM EST reply actions

Crabapple, you are definitely challenging tafkatOSUb’s 5* ranking.

by hlh on Feb 5, 2009 1:26 PM EST reply actions

SU’s decision to hire Marrone has left me convinced that they no longer care about football. At this point, all that’s left for them to do is hire away Dartmouth’s Dean of Admissions. Much like he’s done at Dartmouth the last 10 years, that a-hole will make sure no decent football player is permitted admission into SU.

by Mark D on Feb 5, 2009 1:45 PM EST reply actions