OH IT’S TORTURE TIME NOW
Oh, it’s on, you adorable, bewhiskered motherfucker:
“I’m gonna turn Florida in right here in front of you,” Kiffin told the crowd at the Knoxville Convention Center. “As Nu’Keese was in the meeting, his phone kept ringing. One of the coaches says, ‘who’s that?’ And he said, Urban Meyer.”
“I love the fact that Urban had to cheat and still didn’t get him,” Kiffin said.
(Watch the video here.)
Oh, Kiffykins. To the pain was the baseline, but it’s torture time now. To earn further future blowouts in painful fashion, Kiffin and co. skunked LSU on Janzen Jackson, a Louisiana corner who was booed by the home crowd when he announced he would be going to Tennessee. If Lane Kiffin dies today crushed by a one-ton block of taffy dropped from Barkevious Mingo’s Indestructible Imperial Dirigible, don’t even try to act surprised.
(HT: C’lay.)
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101
Atticus says:
Kiffin is not getting under anyone’s skin. He is just making matters worse for his players and embarassing fans. Kiffin’s mouth is wrting checks that his team cannot cash. Florida and Alabama will defeat UT handily.
February 5th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
102
zzgator says:
Keep telling yourself these things Coop.
And oh yeah…Kiffin didn’t just encourage a kid to lie…he also insulted the integrity of the kid’s hometown. Aaaand…I think he threw another recruit’s grandmother under the bus….and oh yeah…pretended to be a recruit by taking his phone and texting on it to the recruit’s high school coach, I’m sure that high school coach is verrrrry impressed and enjoyed being played as a fool.
Richardson has got to feel great about turning his back on the coaches who built a relationship with him to sign with the coach who just got bitchslapped by the league in front of the entire country.
February 5th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
103
Holly says:
I’m sorry, but really? Kiffykins is “making no friends”? We’re not having tea and crumpets, motherfucker.
(SKLM, I guess this puts me in the (c) column. I mean, I’m watching, with great interest, but ain’t nobody know nothin’ yet.)
February 5th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
104
Boclive says:
Kiffin without ever coaching a game in the league has now been publicly reprimanded by the 21st century version of Mr. Rodgers.
Slappin’ the bull. If you last eight seconds, you win. After that, the clowns are the only thing between you and the bull.
February 5th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
105
Three Days of Orange says:
As a Vol, I feel like we just handed the keys to our dad’s car to that slightly drunk,
slightly crazy cool kid who is really, really, driving too fast for our liking. I’m hanging
on for the ride. Not that Spurrier didn’t slander Kiffin in a similar fashion by falsely
accusing him of a recruiting violation the day of his hire. Not that Meyer and
Saban wouldn’t sacrifice babies or waterboard grandmothers for an edge. Richt is
the only one in the SEC trying to prove that good guys finish first.
“1958 Ferrari 250 GTS California. Less than a hundred were made
It has a market value of $265,000. My father spent three years restoring it.
It is his joy, it is his love, it is his passion.”
“It’s his fault he didn’t lock the garage.”
Don’t worry, the Vols will be here to gloat or take our medicine all fall.
“However, I master the trick just like Nixon
Causin terror, quick damage ya whole era”
February 5th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
106
Chas says:
Holly,
It’s one thing to “not make friends.” It’s another thing entirely to throw down punk cards on the rest of the SEC, especially when you inherit a team that has a lot of question marks, to put it mildly. I mean, even Spurrier wasn’t an overt asshole right off the bat at Florida. Admittedly, I sort of admire little Kiffykin’s zest and zeal, but do you as a Vol fan really think that making it a point to piss off Florida and Alabama – and most of the rest of the conference to a lesser extent – is really the best course of action for a team that lost to UCLA and Wyoming en route to not making a bowl game?
February 5th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
107
www.southbendblarney.com says:
Kiffin is laying down some smack isn’t he? Nothing wrong with callin’ out other coaches. It just adds to the fun come game day.
February 6th, 2009 at 12:13 am
108
Holly says:
Seriously, there’s no possible way I could care less how much he shoots his mouth off. Nobody knows how he’s gonna work out next season, but if he wants to provide us with good television in the meantime, bring it awwwwn, son.
February 6th, 2009 at 12:39 am
109
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
……I think it was Plato who said……..you can tell more about a person in an hour of competition than a year of talking…..and that motherfucker just run out of time…….
Holly, hate to break it to you, but Kiffin just went “full retard”….and it wasnt an act….bless his heart……I’ve heard of trying to make a name for yourself in prison by trying to knock out the baddest mofo on the yard, but taking on two? RETARD…no one likes to beat up retards, but if the mofo wont STFU, he will get his buckethead cracked….HARD……repeatedly
February 6th, 2009 at 12:49 am
110
Not You says:
@102:
“Not that Spurrier didn’t slander Kiffin in a similar fashion by falsely
accusing him of a recruiting violation the day of his hire.”
If you’re going to get technical, Spurrier asked if Kiffin had committed a recruiting violation by recruiting before he had been certified. A legitimate question, and would have been a violation had Kiffin not had taken the test.
Kiffin, on the other hand, said flat out that Meyer HAD violated a rule. A rule that didn’t exist. And even had it existed, he brags that he hid the visit from Meyer anyway.
Only one of those is slander, from a legal stand point. Guess which one! Go on, guess!
February 6th, 2009 at 1:17 am
111
North 2 says:
Scene: SEC Media Days, Urban Meyer’s session
Meyer: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the SEC. Dios mio, man. Charlie and me, we’re gonna fuck you up.
Kiffykin: Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
Meyer: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a Tampa Cover 2 out on the field, I’ll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and push the kill button on the Tebot until he goes “click.”
February 6th, 2009 at 2:36 am
112
ALGator says:
@108 – *applause*
February 6th, 2009 at 8:26 am
113
der schatten says:
@ Not You
And, guess what, I think at this point Meyer has met the republication requirements
February 6th, 2009 at 9:00 am
114
Lame Kiffin says:
“I’ve got another thing coming” is what this shit bag wakes up to every morning
February 6th, 2009 at 10:42 am
115
Coop says:
Wow, Holly and I are on the same page. Amazing.
Truth be told, I hate Tennessee. However, I like the direction they are going in. It is about time they stood up for themselves.
February 6th, 2009 at 10:59 am
116
Urban Meyer as Ari Gold says:
You know what other class I took at Miami of Ohio? Coaching ethics. I don’t steal other people’s motherfucking recruits. But in YOUR case, I am going to make an exception! I’m going to take everyone! Your 3-star bench riders, your JUCO transfers. When I’m done with you you’ll be coaching in East Jesus Nowhere. You need Ray Ray the half-retarded defensive tackle, call Lane Kiffuck. The lightweight recruit stealing fuck face. (Takes a sip of Lane’s drink:) That’s awful. Now, where’s my boy Timmy Tebow?!
February 6th, 2009 at 11:07 am
117
Sean Rash says:
I heard Lame was bringing Pat Scummit in to coach too coach the male cheerleaders, morale has been down
in ole rocky top,but daddy is gonna save the day
“Im Gonna make you the next Reggie Bush”
February 6th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
118
Nick Stephens says:
Uhh, coach ? I know you’ve been busy recruiting and all, and you haven’t watched any of our game tapes yet, so please STFU. Coach, we lost to Auburn last year, that’s how bad it was. And now you’ve got Brandon Spikes and Rolando McClain betting on who can break me up the worst. Please, I beg you, stop now, or I’m letting Crompton start again. Thanks.
February 6th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
119
Sean F says:
Where’s the hello Kiffin t-shirt already?
February 6th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
120
'SotaVol says:
Sean F -
Nicely done. Thanks for flushing the crank down the toilet and reminding us that this is supposed to be fun.
February 6th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
121
My Eskimo Friend says:
Speaking of fun, it’s fun to hate the Vols. It’s gonna be fun to hate Kiffin. I’ve missed hating the Vols over the last four years or so.
God, this is refreshing.
Here’s hoping Meyer takes a “punt on 3rd down” strategy on 9/19. Laugh-fucking-riot, I tell ya.
February 7th, 2009 at 3:27 am