MESSAGE BOARDER OF THE YEAR
Memphis area recruit and number one pick in the state Marlon Brown opted to attend Georgia instead of Tennessee and Ohio State. He’ll explain it for you himself here, but it all came down to ASUMMTHIN DACOACHO DONNA WHILEA VISSITIN DAFAMILEEE.
“But then Tennessee did something wrong at one point…”
“You said Tennessee did something wrong. ?”
“Coach O came at me the wrong way. He said a couple of things to me and my family…”
“Your grandmother was involved…”
“Oh, yeah. She was very upset.”
What did Coach O do to piss off the number one recruit in Tennessee? Offer the traditional Orgeron greeting of a firm grapple followed by an elbow to the head? Bring his usual gift of fermented deer hoof salad? Arrive at the house and sit on the couch while excreting his usual low level of pure, aerosolized kerosene, thus seeping the apholstery full of flammable gas fumes?
None of these, actually. Enter message board greatness to the rescue! (Click for larger.)
Yes, let’s accuse a reformed alcoholic of suffering a relapse just prior to walking into a recruit’s house. That’s a ten out of ten on the message board ninja shitbag scale, and further evidence that in the filthy scrum of recruiting, there are no innocents.
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1
DevilGrad says:
WHASSA MATTAH WIFUH SAYUH “HOLLAH POSSUM!” ATADA GRANMUDDAH?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:08 am
2
zzgator says:
In a game of war does the “religious” card beat the “race” card?
Inquiring minds.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:16 am
3
yoyofutbawl says:
Hell, I’m amazed that grandma even understood what he was saying.
Time to re-start up every day should be lemsday again….
February 5th, 2009 at 11:18 am
4
GamecockTony says:
Big O is a recovering alcoholic?
That explains the ever-present rage.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:21 am
5
Coop says:
Is TennStud still on the Internet allegedly claiming that Logan Young’s death was not an, allegedly, accident? Is he still, allegedly, going on and on about alleged people with alleged drug problems which allegedly contributed to Young’s death?
There is scum of the Earth, and then there is that TennStud fellow.
Mark Richt playing the religious angle? NOOOOOOOOOO….
I am going to miss the Georgia/Clemson recruiting battles that centered on who loved Jesus more.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:25 am
6
BurritoBrosShits says:
Fact: DACOACHO’s bodily functions are such that his stomach works as a distillery of a liquor that is a cross between bourbon, everclear, and rocket fuel, so to say he may have been drunk may be a misunderstanding of the medical anomaly that is DACOACHO.
And so what if she called her a “BIGHEAPAWOMANDATSHOLOOKGUD!”, in most places that would be a compliment.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:31 am
7
Brian O'Blivion says:
Gramma was just pissed he didn’t bring single malt.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:35 am
8
NRBQ says:
So much for Kiffie’s recruiting “fence around Tennessee.”
Mark Richt done took his wirecutters-for-Jesus and pilfered the state’s top two players.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:35 am
9
BuddyColtrane says:
@6
Instead of coaching, shouldn’t Coach O just poison the alcohol supply of each Vol opponent before the game? Guaranteed victory every Saturday, especially now that Knowshon’s “counterdancability” and Stafford’s amazing feats of keg lifting can drag my beloved Dawgs from the curse of what I will call “ye O drink” (couldn’t think of anything better)
February 5th, 2009 at 11:39 am
10
Holly says:
I’m gonna venture out on what looks like a pretty sturdy limb here and postulate that Orgeron offered to rassle the recruit in his living room, as he is wont to do, and beat him soundly.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:42 am
11
CBL says:
This sounds like an unfortunate and entirely predictable misunderstanding, as Grandma interpreted something Coach O said as being in English.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:42 am
12
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
[sarcasm]
Yes! Jesus loves us again!
Oh Gators you are in it now. WE GOT GOD!
ARP, motherfucker!
[/sarcasm]
February 5th, 2009 at 11:52 am
13
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
Yes, and cocktails to Coop and NRBQ.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:53 am
14
Crabapple Buck says:
He didn’t go to tOSU because he had to attend and pass his classes.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:54 am
15
NRBQ says:
Maurice Clarett begs to differ.
February 5th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
16
DevilGrad says:
When did THAT become a requirement?
Puzzled,
Andy Katzenmoyer
February 5th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
17
Crabapple Buck says:
NRBQ –
Bad example. Mo was suspended and never played another down for a multitude of reasons, not attending class was just one.
February 5th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
18
Just another Michigan Man says:
Irony, thy name is Crabapple Buck.
February 5th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
19
fresh says:
Thank the Lord that Ed Orgeron is back in the SEC.
February 5th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
20
UgaMatt says:
Mark Richt using his religion to get recruits is crap. We would never use our religion to bring favorable coverage upon ourselves.
In Him,
Danny Wuerffel and Tim Tebow
February 5th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
21
DevilGrad says:
“At that time Ohio State University had one of the best football teams in the country and Bolenciecwz was one of its outstanding stars. In order to be eligible to play, it was necessary for him to keep up in his studies, a very difficult matter, for while he was not dumber than an ox, he was not any smarter.”
– James Thurber, “University Days,” republished in My Life and Hard Times (1933)
February 5th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
22
Crabapple Buck says:
Ironic is that every example of “less studious” student athletes is from the John Cooper regime. You remember him from the Reggie Germany = John Blutarsky 0.0 GPA. Since Lord Tressel has become the King of Columbus, either the student in student-athlete has been improved, or they cover it up better.
February 5th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
23
DevilGrad says:
I’m voting for option #2. As my prior post suggests, there’s at least seventy-five years worth of history at work here. Coaches come and go, but the booster culture remains eternal.
February 5th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
24
Just another Michigan Man says:
In his spare time does Saint Tressel turn water into wine? Slow, slow wine?
February 5th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
25
hlh says:
If I would’ve had a ‘Vette in college, I might not have been late to so many classes.
February 5th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
26
Crabapple Buck says:
DG –
I’m guessing it is a little of column A and a little of column B. Since Tress took over our appearance in the Fulmer Cup has diminished to also-rans. Where with Cooper and the early JT years (with Coop’s leftovers) we were playas. On the whole, we haven’t recruited the non-qualifiers that seem to find trouble and/or flunk out.
BTW – Ole Miss signed 120 kids in the last 4 years, Alabama 107 and tOSU 80. I read where Troy signed 41 this year. WTF is with the attrition in the south?
February 5th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
27
hlh says:
Going to class interferes with becoming a true bon vivant.
Respectfully,
Antonio Henton
February 5th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
28
paulwesterdawg says:
“Yes, let’s accuse a reformed alcoholic of suffering a relapse just prior to walking into a recruit’s house.”
Yeah….but honestly….in all your message board travels….have you ever seen a coach get accused of that sort of thing by his OWN fans….in Year 1?
Isn’t proper protocol for “Own Coach Slanders” call for waiting til the second recruiting class to throw your own people under the bus? Just saying.
Oh….and “UGAMatt”…… +100 for “in Him”
February 5th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
29
NRBQ says:
Got it, Buck.
Jones isn’t at OSU because”
(a) He never intended to sign, just wanted to stir up the faithful.
(b) He’s a pussy, and afraid to play in the cold.
(c) Went to Georgia because their athletes don’t have to attend classes.
I’m not sure about a & c, but judging from the way he runs over motherfuckers on YouTube, I have serious doubts about option b.
February 5th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
30
Jason says:
I hope Mr. Brown learns quickly how to block for our famed “sprint-draw.”
February 5th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
31
NCT says:
I’m not saying UGA jocks are rocket scientists, but just to clear up a misconception, I’d like to point out that we kick kids off our teams if they don’t go to class and mandatory study hall. I’m just sayin’.
February 5th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
32
Andy says:
#14 may be one of the stupidest things I have ever read on the internets.
February 5th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
33
Techie says:
One of these days, St. Richt is going to cross some sort of line, and there will lots of legal hell to pay. (And I say this as a regular churchgoer….)
What’s the over/under for the first player cut because he “didn’t want to come to Jesus”?
February 5th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
34
anon says:
It certainly wasn’t Musa Smith or MoMass
February 5th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
35
bup bup bup says:
not that anyone here cares, but OSU’s admission standards have gotten a lot tougher in the last 15 years, and tougher still in the last 5. i don’t think marlon would’ve had any trouble getting into and doing well at OSU academically, but to say that OSU is some blowoff school in terms of education is a complete misnomer. Tressel places a HUGE emphasis on learning (dude has a master’s in education), and the really high number of academic all-americans at OSU is telling. and don’t give me the BUT THEM IS FOOTBALL PLAYERS, COURSE THEY GET GOOD GRADES bullshit line, you can say that about any program in the universe
also it’s a matter of fact that the admission standards at OSU are leagues better than at most SEC schools.
February 5th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
36
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
I am pretty sure Coach O hitting the Grandmama across the back with a folding chair, ya know, the usual Cajun Grandma Greeting, pretty much sealed his fate…..since this was Tenn. and not Louisiana…
Recruit: Coach O, this beautiful woman right here is my Grandmama….
Coach O: (Picks up folding chair, waits for Granmama to get up, then WHOP!..tags her across the back, knocking her to the floor) COACHODAYUMGLADDAMEETU, UTAKEDACHAIRNHITTADAHCOACHOCROSSADAHEADPLEASEWOMANGETTUPUAINTAHURTYETSHOWDACOACHOWHATTCHAGOTILIKEAMYWOMENSLIKEILIKEAMUHCOFFEE!!!
Recruit: This fool right here is crazy..I’m callin Coach Richt for prayer……
February 5th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
37
NRBQ says:
#33
Zero.
Sure your class is ranked 49th, and you’re bitter.
But jeezus, son, you’re reaching.
February 5th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
38
Techie says:
Sorry about Stephen Hill, Lord knows y’all tried.
I just love the idea of a nominally State employee (allegedly) promising religious services before every game.
Or does UGA just not recruit outside Christendom anymore?
February 5th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
39
Meg says:
If by “religious services” you mean a pregame prayer, then you should start calling out your own coach because I am pretty sure every team does one….
I am no bible-thumper, and even I have never heard even a hint of any player or recruit that felt they were forced into any religious service other than of their own free choosing. Give me a break.
In this case, O made a very serious tactical error by negatively attacking Richt and co when Marlon and family had already come out in public saying how much they liked an respected the GA coaches. That was just stupid.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
40
NRBQ says:
And we’re sorry FOR Steven Hill. Hope he enjoys 3-4 years of sharpening his blocking skills.
If we pray really hard, we may muddle through with Wooten and Brown.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
41
Snopp Dawgy Dawg says:
Coach O made several tactical errors:
a. Underestimated the consequences of drunken advances on Grandma
b. Used “coon-ass” three times during his visit, which was misinterpreted by Grandma
c. Called Richt “preacherman” which only endeared the UGA coach to Grandma even more
d. Admitted he wore “rebel underwear” on gamedays at while coaching at Ole Miss
February 6th, 2009 at 12:48 am
42
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
#41
Keep going….The Top 10 Reason Da Coach O didnt land the Prize Recruit…..
10. Calling Coach Richt a “lil bitch”….
9. Asking the recruit if he had any kids
8. Asking the recruit if he had dated any white women
7. Asking his Grandma if she had dated any Cajun men…if not, if she would like to start…NOW!
6. Asked the Grandma if she would like to try some Boudin Sausage….then takes off his pants
5. Asking the recruit to let Coach O see his LOI……then once he gets the LOI, Coach O excuses himself, goes to Kinko’s……brings back a fake copy,(he faxed over the other copy) gives it to the kid already signed…..by Coach O…it would have flown had the recruits name been “DA COACH O” in the signature box….
4. Asked the recruit if he liked “to wrassle”, then picks up the recruit and slams him thru the coffee table…twice…then does the same to Grandma….TWICE
3. Asked the Grandma if she goes to church. Tells her Cajun Voodoo works better.
2. Tells the Grandma he likes his women just like he likes his coffee….and he would like to do a Expresso shot off her belly….
1. Tells the recruit he could really start in about 2 years..right about when Lane Kiffin gets expelled from the SEC
February 6th, 2009 at 5:43 pm