Let us offer an early review on Tommy Tuberville as a television commenter: he’s velvety smooth, like a tumbler full of Woodford Reserve with huge ears strapped to the side of it. Unlike many commenters, he doesn’t do the ESPN vapor lock on the camera, the sudden “HEY I’M ON CAMERA ATTACK” move Tom Luginbill seems to be doing in order to disgorge as much information as possible in a forty-five second window. (The Kiperkakke, a move Todd McShay seems to have internalized without irony.)


What has a pointing finger and doesn’t give a damn? This guy.

Tuberville seems to have just sauntered into the frame, fresh from skinning a catfish or finishing up a round of 18. We would not be shocked to see the carved wooden head of a rocking chair peek up from over his shoulder. Add the smooth in with the fact that he knows what he’s talking about, presents it in a fluid, folksy manner, and is still being paid by Auburn, and we’re smitten. In fact, go ahead and get him one, ESPNU, and let him whittle while the other guys are talking.