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RECRUIT PROFILE: JACOBBI MCDANIEL

Recruit: Jacobbi McDaniel

Picture:

picture-2

What his picture says about him: That though he may look like he's observing the action on the field, he sees so much more: the meeting of strategy, disorder, and desire; the simultaneous blossoming and death of youth embodied in 22 parts, and the ineluctable transient sadness of that crystalline moment. Also, he wants to know why you don't use him as a goal-line fullback and demonstrate his quickness and deft footwork on the offensive side of the ball, Coach Chump-pantsserson.

Position: defensive lineman, raconteur, firmly against the evil of corn subsidies, preferably sitting a wooded bower absorbing all the wisdom silence has to impart in him, wondering why his opponent began this particular game of chess with a Nimzo-Indian strategy, and wondering if the heart can truly love whilst in deep meditation in his dojo.

Ballin'? No, no, no, it's not like that at all.

Spiritual Hometown: The world and not the world. A spirit knows no home and no foreign country simultaneously. Though if he had to choose, it would be probably be Miami, because they got some chunky asses down there for real, and even a poet-warrior hears the siren song of the flesh from time to time.

Bench: 350 pounds.

Squat: 475 if he's at one with things, but scarcely above 225 if melancholia has crept into the tender cockles of his heart, or if he hasn't eaten much that day.

Committed to: Florida State, the Dravidian martial arts, learning Farsi, preserving the great traditions of local musical cultures around the world, studying the arresting graphic design of Fallout 3, and preparing himself for death at any instant in order to properly live.

40 time: 4.9, but doesn't really think of time as a real variable, but more as a human construct imposed on a timeless universe.

Things you Didn't Know About Jacobbi McDaniel. Parents included two 'b''s in his name to remind him to always strive for an 'A'...has a foolproof system for winning at roulette and would be happy to share it with you through an informative and entertaining DVD available for just $69.95...once concussed Paul Krugman in a heated dispute over the theoretical validity of the Laffer Curve...does not use wasteful food as fuel, and instead runs on frequent injections of clean-burning hydrogen...is not visible from space, but can felt in the heart from as far away as the Van Allen Belt.

0 recs  |  Comment 13 comments

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RECRUIT HIM OR LOSE OUT BAMA

Dec 2009 by Orson - 37 comments

Comments

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Truly, a modern Renaissance man. We should all aspire to such heights.

by Mike on Feb 3, 2009 11:11 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Does he like Legos and does he have an infectious laugh?

by Wozzo the Wonder Dog on Feb 3, 2009 11:29 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

How I Became an Energy State: The Jacobbi McDaniel Story

by CincySooner on Feb 3, 2009 11:34 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Ricky, is that you?

by Brian O'Blivion on Feb 3, 2009 11:35 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Swindle: I’m gay for your prose.

by CrazyPi on Feb 3, 2009 11:51 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Projected to have a deeper voice than Sylvester Croom by 2030.

by OhioDawg on Feb 3, 2009 11:57 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

“system for winning at roulette” = somebody just watched Once Upon a Crime.

by now_a_hoo on Feb 3, 2009 12:08 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

The way you were describing him, I was certain that Jacobbbbbi and Sensei Carrol would be kindred spirits.

by ChasingMizzou on Feb 3, 2009 12:20 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

FYI; for those tracking the exploits of one Barkevious Mingo he just committed to LSU.

Mingeaux?

by drexyl on Feb 3, 2009 12:52 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

The world and not the world. A spirit knows no home and no foreign country simultaneously. Though if he had to choose, it would be probably be Miami, because they got some chunky asses down there for real, and even a poet-warrior hears the siren song of the flesh from time to time.

by Acai on Feb 3, 2009 1:24 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Orson,
Another classic: “Parents included two ‘b’’s in his name to remind him to always strive for an ‘A’…”.

by Croc on Feb 3, 2009 2:40 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Spencer-

I wish you’d stop being so sanguine about national signing day and do some traditional breathless/OMGOMGOMG/we’ll-DIE-if-we-don’t-get (insert recruit name here)-type post. Can you at least act like Urban hasn’t engineered a perpetual motion football machine? ‘Cause if you don’t even care how Florida will fare, then the other teams are like an…an…irrelevance.

Thought we mattered. Hurts.

by 'SotaVol on Feb 3, 2009 9:27 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Maybe Orson should have spent that per diem check last year on McDaniel’s roulette DVD.

by JD on Feb 3, 2009 10:20 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

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