CURIOUS INDEX, 1/30/09

by Orson on Jan 30, 2009 9:07 AM EST

Monsieur Croom ne regrette rien. Okay, if it were Croom it would have to be about five octaves lower, but it'll do for the moment.

Monsieur Croom regrets nothing about his time at Mississippi State, and will be taking his basso profondo to the NFL as a running backs coach for the St. Louis Rams. As cuddly as we'd all like to be now that he's gone and fired, a bit of Billick syndrome must necessarily be mentioned again here: for an offensive coach to have such an atrocity of an offense year in and year out at Starkville was one of the great mysteries of the Croom era.

(Marion Cotillard doesn't always look like an elderly hunchback. In fact, were one to google her in the right fashion, you'll discover that every role prior to playing Edith Piaf involved her getting extravagantly naked. You're welcome.)

He ran a 5.1 in wooden shoes. Boise gets the Rik Smits of college football in the form of Ricky Tjong-A-Tjoe, a lineman from the Netherlands who played his high school ball at Boise High. Barkevious Mingo respects your strong name, son, and would like to invite you to the Kingdom of Mingovia for dinner and the requisite viewing of the gladitorial combats afterward.

That hurt, didn't it? So you won't do it again? Not necessarily: Steve Sarkisian and his coaching staff may have committed another minor recruiting faux pas by having a media member present during a coffee shop recruiting visit. These seem innocent enough, as Rick Neuheisel is currently wearing a headlamp in a crawlspace and tapping out morse code on drywall to a recruit somewhere in East LA.

Whipple'd! Miami's offense since their move to the ACC has been positively crapulent, though we'd point out that they have had two bad to atrocious matches of coordinator and talent in Rich Olson and Patrick Nix, who just called a bubble screen on aisle 5 of a Wal-Mart somewhere in Southern Alabama.

Behold the Sword of Urlacher! It slashes through red tape and donates $500K to the University of New Mexico for their indoor facility, and shall henceforth be known as Brian Urlacher field. Who's laughing now? Him.

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Mmm…Marion Cotillard. Yes, please, can I get an extra helping of the crazy version from “Love Me If You Dare”?

by Phocion on Jan 30, 2009 9:27 AM EST reply actions

In Miami’s defense, their offense has been high powered by ACC standards.

by Herb on Jan 30, 2009 9:42 AM EST reply actions

Madame Cotillard ain’t got nothing on Lilly Von Schtupp.

by yoyofutbawl on Jan 30, 2009 9:46 AM EST reply actions

Nice to hear that Urlacher has money left over after all his child support payments. Perhaps he should invest in some jimmy hats?

by Double Eagle on Jan 30, 2009 9:50 AM EST reply actions

“Extravagently naked” is always good. But all Edith Piaf references remind me of Bull Durham: “Annie! Open up that door. I know you’re in there. I can hear that crazy Mexican lady singing.”

by DevilGrad on Jan 30, 2009 10:01 AM EST reply actions

I just wanna know when Ndamukong Suh get to go to Mingovia. Also, Patrick Nix should know better. The correct call in a Wal-Mart situation is play-action to the tight end over the middle.

by Brizzle on Jan 30, 2009 11:29 AM EST reply actions

Unfortunately, I know from several years of personal observation that Patrick Nix is not familiar with this “Tight End” position you speak of.

by GTFridge on Jan 30, 2009 11:34 AM EST reply actions

Croom refuses to take responsibility for anything. “We were on the right track.” Horseshit. Watch how quickly Mullen puts a watchable product on the field. He hasn’t said once that “there are no quick fixes,” a line that Croom perfected in his five years.

Croom is the worst coach to put on a headset in the SEC in recent memory, and that’s especially indicting given that my recent memory also includes an Orgeron, a Shula, a Curley, a Dinardo, and a (redacted).

by fresh on Jan 30, 2009 12:03 PM EST reply actions

Ricky Tjong-A-Tjoe “pronounced Chong-A-Chew.” Hmm, this kid is from the Netherlands, his name is pronounced like a mythical marijuana gum, and he’s in the middle of Idaho. Sounds like a future Fulmer Cup contender!

by Erica on Jan 30, 2009 12:22 PM EST reply actions

Slick Rick to too busy betting sports to infiltrate a recruits house…plus he has an outside party do that kind of work. It’s all about plausible deniability, he is a lawyer after all.

by www.southbendblarney.com on Jan 30, 2009 1:03 PM EST reply actions

Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink thinks that Ricky Tjong-A-Tjoe is trading letters for laughs and should step it up a bit.

by DC Trojan on Jan 30, 2009 1:47 PM EST reply actions

I see what you did there, Orson.

Made us find our own Friday Cheesecake, dint’cha?

by NRBQ on Jan 30, 2009 2:39 PM EST reply actions

What, no love for Colt McCoy, who, given his established track record of swimming entire lakes to save human lives, must be responsible for warning the entire unsuspecting populace of Austin as to its impending doom?

http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/austin/entries/2009/01/28/sign_hacker_broadcasts_zombie.html

by Isuk@HTML on Jan 30, 2009 3:20 PM EST reply actions

god what an awful movie. I was so glad to see her die.

by Kecalf Bailey on Jan 30, 2009 4:57 PM EST reply actions

god what a beautiful movie. Wait till you are closer to dying and you will understand it

by WarChiziken on Jan 31, 2009 7:38 AM EST reply actions

That was a fantastic movie, and Edith Piaff was absolutely incredible. That is all.

by Brian O'Blivion on Jan 31, 2009 10:52 AM EST reply actions

It sickens me to know the taxpayers of Arizona serve up good, hard-earned money to watch Rich Olson run the ball in passing situations at ASU. He’s like Jeff Bowden without the talent to waste. Grrrrr.

by Big Jon on Jan 31, 2009 12:35 PM EST reply actions