LSUFreek has metaphors. Many of them.

Take Mark Sanchez as one egg and Ryan Perrilloux as another, and then read Mandel’s bit musing on their two very, very divergent paths, and then hyperventilate into a bag and remember this object lesson when a CAN’T MISS running back or quarterback “may be hedging!” or decommitting from your school. They’re eggs. Some of them break. Some of them get fried. And some become badass chickens with disemboweling talons.

Well, why didn’t you tell us that. Terrelle Pryor was ducking out of bounds and wobbly on many of his passes against Texas in the Fiesta Bowl due to a sprained shoulder sustained in practice leading up to the game, forcing his coaches to advise against “unnecessary contact” and putting Todd Boeckman in the game more than boggled, objective bystanders would have imagined possible. (To his credit, Boeckman played well, and not just “well-for-Todd-Boeckman-well,” an entirely different term altogether.)

Drinking in Utah is forbidden by firing squad. Unless you’re Jim McMahon. Did Manti Te’o, highly sought after outside linebacker recruitand obvious next member of USC’s Hair Bear Bunch Series of mightily maned Polynesian slammers at linebackers, drink while he was at Provo on a recruiting trip? And if so, does this discovery of alcohol indicate the discovery of Jim McMahon’s long lost beer stash, buried in the mountains surrounding the BYU campus for over twenty five years now?

Six-oh. Dan Mullen has six of Mississippi’s top ten recruits. Houston Nutt’s total? GIGGITY, or in other words, none. Gunga Dan may lack Houston Nutt’s ability to mesmerize, but he doesn’t sleep much, and that seems to be important, too.

Thank you, Tim, you shameless homer. Tim Brando interviews Sam Bradford. Homervision, on!

Q: Would it be accurate to say there wasn’t as much space between defensive backs and receivers against Florida than what you were used to seeing?

A: I think that would be accurate. They were a very good defense; they were very fast, but they were very sound. They rarely got out of position, and they had guys accounting for all of our receivers, especially when we got the tailback out of the backfield. It seemed like they always had a linebacker spying or waiting on him when he left the backfield.