JIM TRESSEL’S VACATION: PART 3
In part three of Jim Tressel’s Vacation, a.k.a. Where in the World is Carmen, OhioSanDiego: A cheap, weathered envelope sits in the mailbox in Ohio. It is covered with numerous inscrutable postmarks. Inside it is a simple postcard and a photograph.
Front:

Back:
Dearest–
Thank you for understanding my yearly walkabout, and for your patience and devotion. Mogadishu is lovely this time of year, as it always is. It’s good to see good friends again, even if many of them have lost limbs and eyes since the last time I saw them.
I will be home after an expedition with my old friends on the Horn of Africa. I have enclosed a picture of the unique collateral I brought with me this time to fund our yearly adventures.
The picture:

We-Are! Being-Held-For-Ransom!
LOL,
Jimmy
ps. “Lost” my passport in Afghanistan please file for a new one love again ly jim
pps. I am going to spank you like a Somali shepard whips a camel when I get home, but only in the loving, consenting way we always do. XOXOXOXO –J.









1
yoyfutbawl says:
Damn. I was hoping for the sex vacation in Thailand installment.
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:32 pm
2
Geori says:
Ah… the gulf of Aden and on to the Horn. On the way, will sweater-vest drop in on his pal, Mugabe? Perhaps he can rotate the crops from Maize to Buckeyes.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Key_Crops_production_in_Zimbabwe.svg
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:40 pm
3
Panhandle Gator says:
Is that Joe Pa I see in the back there?
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
4
BJ says:
There’s always tomorrow.
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:47 pm
5
Schnelly-ade says:
Good to see Maurice Clarett was able to land a job after being a convicted felon, sometimes people just don’t understand.
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
6
Raider Red says:
Those pirates have no sense of style. Not a sword to be found. I bet they have lousy organizational structure too.
Signed,
Mike Leach
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:03 pm
7
swampchomp says:
it could be entitled Jim Tressel’s Vacation Part 4: The 12 Year Old Guy/Girl/Hermaphrodite That Had a Lot of Mascara and Totally Looked Like He/She/It Wanted It.
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:06 pm
8
Woekie says:
Orson, you know damn well that Mogadishu is nowhere near the Gulf of Aden. Puntland 4 lyfe lawya. Them federalist bitches betta recognize.
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
9
Orson Swindle says:
What, you think a playa like Tress can’t get from the Dirty Mo’ to the beaches?
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
10
Kerwin4two says:
Troy’s on the board! prolly only a 1 pointer, but still…
http://www.newsok.com/troy-wr-josh-jarboe-arrested/article/3337750?custom_click=pod_headline_ou-sports
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:28 pm
11
Brian O'Blivion says:
Can’t wait to see Tressel on the next episode of Locked Up Abroad.
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
12
The Holy Grail says:
Is Joe Pa sleeping?
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:54 pm
13
CincySooner says:
#10…
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/01/13/fulmer-cup-josh-jarboe/
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:33 pm
14
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
Durka Durka Tressel Jihad!
Does Jim Tressel have a myspace.com account for his band, “Jim and the Infideltones”?, and their new record “A Pirate Looks at 40……Million Dollars in Ransom Money”?
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:44 pm
15
Danny Wuerffel's Helmet says:
“pps. I am going to spank you like a Somali shepard whips a camel when I get home, but only in the loving, consenting way we always do. XOXOXOXO –J. ”
I wish I hadn’t read that.
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:11 pm
16
Brizzle says:
Man, Joe Pa’s never gonna live that shit down.
January 22nd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
17
poguemahone says:
This must be before he convinces Sayid to kill various pawns of Charles Widmore for him.
January 22nd, 2009 at 5:56 pm
18
WarChiziken says:
Please dear god Orson…. don’t give up all the good stuff so early in the season… dole it out slowly…. we got a long way to go
January 22nd, 2009 at 7:29 pm
19
vegas_buckeye says:
@18
I believe the phrase you were looking for is:
“NOT so fast, my friend.”
January 23rd, 2009 at 10:57 am