JIM TRESSEL'S VACATION: PART 3
by Orson on Jan 22, 2009 12:04 PM EST
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PrintIn part three of Jim Tressel's Vacation, a.k.a. Where in the World is Carmen, OhioSanDiego: A cheap, weathered envelope sits in the mailbox in Ohio. It is covered with numerous inscrutable postmarks. Inside it is a simple postcard and a photograph.
Front:
Back:
Dearest--
Thank you for understanding my yearly walkabout, and for your patience and devotion. Mogadishu is lovely this time of year, as it always is. It's good to see good friends again, even if many of them have lost limbs and eyes since the last time I saw them.
I will be home after an expedition with my old friends on the Horn of Africa. I have enclosed a picture of the unique collateral I brought with me this time to fund our yearly adventures.
The picture:
We-Are! Being-Held-For-Ransom!
LOL,
Jimmy
ps. "Lost" my passport in Afghanistan please file for a new one love again ly jim
pps. I am going to spank you like a Somali shepard whips a camel when I get home, but only in the loving, consenting way we always do. XOXOXOXO --J.
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Damn. I was hoping for the sex vacation in Thailand installment.
by yoyfutbawl on Jan 22, 2009 12:32 PM EST reply actions
Ah… the gulf of Aden and on to the Horn. On the way, will sweater-vest drop in on his pal, Mugabe? Perhaps he can rotate the crops from Maize to Buckeyes.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Key_Crops_production_in_Zimbabwe.svg
by Geori on Jan 22, 2009 12:40 PM EST reply actions
Is that Joe Pa I see in the back there?
by Panhandle Gator on Jan 22, 2009 12:45 PM EST reply actions
Good to see Maurice Clarett was able to land a job after being a convicted felon, sometimes people just don’t understand.
by Schnelly-ade on Jan 22, 2009 12:55 PM EST reply actions
Those pirates have no sense of style. Not a sword to be found. I bet they have lousy organizational structure too.
Signed,
Mike Leach
by Raider Red on Jan 22, 2009 1:03 PM EST reply actions
it could be entitled Jim Tressel’s Vacation Part 4: The 12 Year Old Guy/Girl/Hermaphrodite That Had a Lot of Mascara and Totally Looked Like He/She/It Wanted It.
by swampchomp on Jan 22, 2009 1:06 PM EST reply actions
Orson, you know damn well that Mogadishu is nowhere near the Gulf of Aden. Puntland 4 lyfe lawya. Them federalist bitches betta recognize.
by Woekie on Jan 22, 2009 1:09 PM EST reply actions
What, you think a playa like Tress can’t get from the Dirty Mo’ to the beaches?
by Orson Swindle on Jan 22, 2009 1:12 PM EST reply actions
Troy’s on the board! prolly only a 1 pointer, but still…
by Kerwin4two on Jan 22, 2009 1:28 PM EST reply actions
Can’t wait to see Tressel on the next episode of Locked Up Abroad.
by Brian O'Blivion on Jan 22, 2009 1:38 PM EST reply actions
Durka Durka Tressel Jihad!
Does Jim Tressel have a myspace.com account for his band, “Jim and the Infideltones”?, and their new record “A Pirate Looks at 40……Million Dollars in Ransom Money”?
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jan 22, 2009 2:44 PM EST reply actions
“pps. I am going to spank you like a Somali shepard whips a camel when I get home, but only in the loving, consenting way we always do. XOXOXOXO J. "
I wish I hadn’t read that.
by Danny Wuerffel's Helmet on Jan 22, 2009 3:11 PM EST reply actions
This must be before he convinces Sayid to kill various pawns of Charles Widmore for him.
by poguemahone on Jan 22, 2009 5:56 PM EST reply actions
Please dear god Orson…. don’t give up all the good stuff so early in the season… dole it out slowly…. we got a long way to go
by WarChiziken on Jan 22, 2009 7:29 PM EST reply actions
@18
I believe the phrase you were looking for is:
“NOT so fast, my friend.”
by vegas_buckeye on Jan 23, 2009 10:57 AM EST reply actions
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