FTU DECLARES UTAH NATIONAL CHAMP. WELL, SURE.
WE ARE OUTRAGED–well, not at all actually. The Florida Times-Union declared Utah their national champion per their set of power rankings, which is fine with us since we’ve become full-bore BCS absurdists, and accept undefeated Utah’s claim to the title right along with Florida’s. You kick Alabama’s ass like they were blind toddlers in a barfight, you earn yourself the right to do that. Dada BCS accepts your national title claim! Dada BCS is dead! Long live Dada BCS!!!
The Dada BCS trophy: just as valid as the crystal football, and more practical by far.
While we’re throwing out alternate universe national champions and writing our own Firefly story arc for college football, why not also entertain the Aussie Rules Option for playoffs, presented on Doc Saturday by Max from Melbourne? Good points include the oddity of second round byes, a four-week-and-done time line, and the fact that it comes from Australia, which is never bad. Downside: the short shorts required to play, lack of pads, and the fact that the whole thing is covered in venomous spines capable of injecting fatal doses of neurotoxins in seconds. Just like Dr. Jerry Punch.
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1
WarChiziken says:
please, please dear god have LSUfreek show us the Utah team hoisting this trophy in triumph
January 21st, 2009 at 3:17 pm
2
www.southbendblarney.com says:
Mythical championships require mythical rewards. A Unicorn for everyone, maybe?
January 21st, 2009 at 3:23 pm
3
Brian O'Blivion says:
Look no further than the bottom of their poll to determine it’s bullshit. An 0-12 Washington team finishes TWO SPOTS ahead of a 2-11 Washington State team that beat them head to head.
January 21st, 2009 at 3:34 pm
4
Brizzle says:
Utah is the national champion of gay bar rules.
January 21st, 2009 at 3:52 pm
5
OhioDawg says:
Does anyone really think we’ll ever get away from this kind of stuff? Absent turning the entire season into a 119 team round robin tournament (WWL would be thrilled) any of the tweaks being suggested will result in someone being pissed off and having a legitimate gripe.
Having the “mid-majors” in the mix seems like having a really good AAA baseball team competing for the world series.
January 21st, 2009 at 3:57 pm
6
sb says:
The T-U, fighting for any sort of readership, makes an outlandish claim and disses the hometown (nearly) Gators…if I still spent any money on that mulletwrapper I might bother to be incensed.
Just remember, this is about money…the T-U needs to piss people off to sell papers with an article outlining how the BCS system is wrong and sucks for determining a natty champ (it does); the BCS system will remain in place until they can find a way to make more money (they will) doing it another way, and no amount of goof-ball analysis will change who now holds the crystal foobaw (the Gators)…
On another note, Jacksonville just lost one half of their sports talk radio options…Lamm at Large with David Lamm and Joe Cowart were terminated yesterday…Clearchannel (just remember, its about money) thought it best to bring in a nationally syndicated sports talk show host…Dan Silly-ho, I think. Nice…a scUM homer in Jax…another way to ensure a continued slide in listenership…1010 is still crankin’ tho’, with no evidence of hardship.
This Jacksonville (Home of the WLOCO) Update has been brought to you courtesy of the boredom inherent in a depressed real estate economy…and the fact that it is not thirsty here yet…
January 21st, 2009 at 4:15 pm
7
Woekie says:
National Champions are like orfices: everyone has the capability to fill several slots, although most people only use one at a time. However, like orfices, while I don’t wish to deny anyone the right to fill national championship slots in the privacy of their own homes, subjecting anyone to that on the internet has become the equivalent of posting a goatse link. Please, keep it to yourself.
January 21st, 2009 at 4:18 pm
8
Grimey says:
Utah jumped to a three-touchdown lead on the Crimson Tide before settling for a 31-17 victory, which was slightly more convincing than Florida’s 31-20 win in the SEC championship game, when the Gators had to rally in the fourth quarter.
/bangs head against table repeatedly
January 21st, 2009 at 4:34 pm
9
Counter Trap says:
I saw that, too, Grimey.
Therefore, I offer the following four words: Third string left tackle.
Also, I was always under the impression that Dr. Punch was, himself, under the influence of injected neurotoxins.
January 21st, 2009 at 4:42 pm
10
sb says:
Ok, it’s thirsty over here now… martini time… see ya.
January 21st, 2009 at 4:45 pm
11
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
Oh yeh, saw this little gem beside the link:
http://www.jacksonville.com/jeff_elliott/2009-01-21/story/sports_radio_host_lamm_laid_off
All I can say to that is: Ha! Ha!
Couldnt happen to a nicer human.
Cant we get Don King to sort this BCS out?
January 21st, 2009 at 5:02 pm
12
SpartanDan says:
“any of the tweaks being suggested will result in someone being pissed off and having a legitimate gripe.”
Someone being pissed off? Sure. Someone always is. Legitimate gripe, though? No. If you have to argue about whether you’re #8 or #9 to get in, you’re not #1.
January 21st, 2009 at 6:11 pm
13
Irwin Fletcher says:
@8&9
Methinks that the UF-UA game had a little more at stake than the consolation bout between Utah and UA.
But that’s just pure speculation on my part.
January 22nd, 2009 at 6:17 am
14
WarChiziken says:
when you consider the Aussie playoff rules it sounds fabulous – let the lower ranks struggle to prove they are worthy of playing the upper tier, even letting the upper tier loser having a second shot of proving they deserve to have a rematch…. fabulous idea…but impractical
the reason you don’t have football games as often as basketball games is because the game is grueling and requires some measure of preparation. Now I suppose the preparation factor can be set aside but the idea that we have a 12 game season followed by 4 more playoff games begins to sound almost tortuous
now a NFL-type 32 team playoff beginning after 10 games… I am all for that. Lots of teams participating, use the bowls for the final 8-4-2-1 games, have 2 weeks between games and we could conceivably stretch the season out until, say… May. With early summer practice replacing spring games, and allow it to go on for 4 weeks we could get college football to last, ummm…YEAR ‘ROUND!!
January 22nd, 2009 at 7:38 am
15
gtne91 says:
#13
The Utah-Bama game was for the national title (for Utah). More at stake than just a conference title.
January 22nd, 2009 at 9:58 am