MICHIGAN: GERG'D

by Orson on Jan 20, 2009 1:05 PM EST

Greg "GERG" Robinson will be the new defensive coordinator for the University of Michigan. Greg Robinson is not a pseudonym, and in fact is a name referring to the man who in four seasons cratered the Syracuse football program in a most crater-y craterous fashion. The same Greg Robinson who craved five for five like anyone else would.

This news may have Michigan fans leaping headfirst off swingsets, but pause: Robinson oversaw good defenses with the shiny, many-starred talent Texas had in 2004. He did not screw this up, and then got a job at Syracuse that he failed at, and then failed again, and then put the whole enchilada in a savory crepe of double fail and deep-fried it in a rich fondue-like mixture of misery, incompetence, and le fail.

This points clearly to the man being a football functionary who, when promoted to the level of his incompetence, lived up to that incompetence to the fullest, and has now bumped back down to his maximum efficient level of performance: assistant. He has good talent, and will put it in the right places most likely, and it will all be passable. This is not what Michigan fans would like to hear, but sometimes life gives you Mehggcellence when you want the top-shelf stuff. With recruiting season is barreling down on Michigan like Steven Hawking on ski holiday, though, it may be time to plug a gridiron bureaucrat in a hole and watch him attain "good" until someone else comes along.

(Firing him won't be painful: it's done been done befo'. Like fiftyleven times, mayun.)

Tweet Comment 16 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

I’m not sure whether to drop a “gah”, a “meh”, or a Homer Simpson “Ooh!”. I guess by definition thats a “meh”. If he can teach Stevie Brown how to take the right angle and tackle someone in the open field, I’ll start the bronze statue fund…

by Just another Michigan Man on Jan 20, 2009 1:12 PM EST reply actions

Robinson is a good DC at least, he’ll do fine at Michigan until RR gets run off and castrated next year.

by DrB on Jan 20, 2009 1:23 PM EST reply actions

The hilarity from Ann Arbor, it just keeps getting better. They look to be emulating ND with the continuous hiring pratfalls. It looks like COTG has smite them.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be laughing hysterically. I’ll try to read the rest of the posts thru my tears of happiness.

by Crabapple Buck on Jan 20, 2009 1:42 PM EST reply actions

Well, at least Stew Mandell has his 2009 pre-season rankings out… http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/stewart_mandel/01/20/early-top-25/1.html

Now lets see if I can make heads or tailes over this hire…. 40-years of being a Michigan fan living in Iowa…. oh how the tables have turned….

I call “meh” on this one… oh, but a nearly elated “meh” with a small dose of dazed and confused “meh”

by The Holy Grail on Jan 20, 2009 1:49 PM EST reply actions

Obviously, Gerg’s educational pursuits in collitch did not include reading “The Peter Principle”.

by yoyofutbawl on Jan 20, 2009 2:26 PM EST reply actions

Bill Stewart thinks that’s a hell of a hire and wishes he had thought of it first.

by MrRedDevil on Jan 20, 2009 2:41 PM EST reply actions

The nice thing is that when Rodriquez is fired, you’ll already have Robinson there as the heir apparent! No messy coaching search for you!

by JTG on Jan 20, 2009 2:49 PM EST reply actions

Jay Paterno is excited. Not just in playing against a Gerg defense, but giving him hope that he will one day find another job.

by psuphiman80 on Jan 20, 2009 3:06 PM EST reply actions

I have tried to think of a candidate that would actually have excited me and came up empty. Given a 3-9 season and the worst statistical defense in Michigan history, I’ll take probably competent and not exciting. It would be nice to play OSU and not have to wonder when the gift 50-yard TD run is going to come due to some safety filling the wrong gap. Not that it would have made a difference this year.

by maskedavenger on Jan 20, 2009 4:09 PM EST reply actions

Ugh – a little research confirms how ugly the run defense has been.

2001 – Jonathan Wells 46-yard TD
2004 – Troy Smith 46-yard carry
2006 – 56-yard TD Beanie Wells, 52-yard TD Antonio Pittman
2007 – 62-yard TD Beanie Wells
2008 – 59-yard TD and 42-yard carry Beanie Wells and 49-yard TD Boom Herron.

I need a drink.

by maskedavenger on Jan 20, 2009 4:27 PM EST reply actions

Wow, did not need to see and re-live each of those atrocities posted by the “maskedavenger”… makes all of those happy thoughts disolve into thoughts of Sam Adams and pizza at the Stadium

by The Holy Grail on Jan 20, 2009 4:51 PM EST reply actions

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Every Syracuse fan (that didn’t commit seppuku over the last four years).

Congratulations to all the Buckeyes out there.

by zibby on Jan 20, 2009 5:22 PM EST reply actions

Guess Willingham turned them down?

by Turf on Jan 20, 2009 8:04 PM EST reply actions

No no it’s all good. Remember when GERG was DC for the Broncos in the 90s? He has Super Bowl rings. The SUPER BOWL. Let me tell you how important that is….

Charlie Weis strategically shows his recruits his Super Bowl rings.
Charlie Weis pulls in wonderful recruiting classes.
Charlie Weis is a horrendous coach and is completely bankrupt of moral character.

Therefore, GERG can flash the hardware and Jelani Jenkins will instinctively flock like the salmon of the Capistrano.

by mdblue on Jan 21, 2009 12:55 AM EST reply actions

I do remember when GERG was the Broncos DC. I also remember his job after that. He was the DC in KC from 01-03. A team that got me back to the NFL for a short time, because of the offense.

Gerg’s Total Defense rankings in this decade

2000 (Den NFL) 24th
2001 (KC NFL) 23rd
2002 (KC NFL) 32nd (Dead last in expansion season)
2003 (KC NFL) 29th (Fired after, literally possibly during, no-punt AFC playoff vs. Indy)
2004 (Texas) 23rd
2005 (Cuse) 57th (Suckitude didn’t have time to set in, obviously)
2006 (Cuse) 107th
2007 (Cuse) 111th
2008 (Cuse) 101st (Hey, improvement!!!)

So the best that he’s done in 9 seasons is top 25%. Obviously a brilliant well-thought out move…or they just really desperately needed a warm body.

by doghawk on Jan 21, 2009 3:14 AM EST reply actions

I think you’re right. A warm body was definitely needed. I hereby submit my name into the running.

Dear Mr. Martin,

I heard you had an opening for the position of Defensive Coordinator for the Varsity football team. I am emailing to inform you that I would like to add my name to those under consideration. I am currently unemployed, a graduate of the University of Michigan, an enthusiastic sailor, and most importantly, no defense that I have run has ever given up a single yard of offense. Go Blue.

Ahoy Hoy,

mdblue

by mdblue on Jan 21, 2009 4:09 AM EST reply actions