JIM TRESSEL'S VACATION, PART ONE.
by Orson on Jan 20, 2009 11:02 AM EST
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PrintJim Tressel is not on vacation yet, but this is pretty much what it will look like.
Las Vegas. 10:17 a.m., yesterday.
Cooler: You, uh...need me to go over there, boss?
Pitboss: I dunno. I kind of want to see if he can keep going at this pace. I've never seen anything like it.
Cooler: He's a machine. Barkley passed out an hour ago.
Pitboss: Yeah. We woke him up with a cognac enema. That always perks him up.
Cooler: I'll head over there if you want--
Pitboss: Nah. You don't stand in the way of a storm like this.
Stunning Floozy 1: Daddy, you want me to blow on the dice?
Tressel: Oh, yeah baby. Whore germs got me this pile of chips, and they'll make it bigger.
Stunning Floozy 1: You're mean!
Tressel: Roll them bones, baby, and we'll see what else gets bigger.
She rolls the dice.
Dealer: Another seven! I've never seen anything like this!
Waitress: Need something from the bar, sir?
Tressel: Another Panty-dropper, please.
Waitress; But that's your 38th, sir.
Tressel: Do you see my panties on the floor?
Waitress: No.
Tressel: Then keep bringing 'em. Then we'll see what we can do about yours.
To be continued.
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Too. fucking. funny. Thanks Orson and Freek.
by Crabapple Buck on Jan 20, 2009 11:16 AM EST reply actions
I always thought of Tressel as a Tunica kinda guy. I now see the light and stand corrected.
by yoyofutbawl on Jan 20, 2009 11:35 AM EST reply actions
This just in: GERG is now DC at Michigan.
This day just keeps getting better and better.
by GroundZeroEastLansing on Jan 20, 2009 12:31 PM EST reply actions
- - should say GERG is rumored to be DC at Michigan.
Still….HAHAHAHAHA
by GroundZeroEastLansing on Jan 20, 2009 12:31 PM EST reply actions
I was thinking Laughlin, but Tunica works, too.
by Adam West's chauffeur on Jan 20, 2009 12:35 PM EST reply actions
I always wondered if that sweatervest wasn’t covering up a high roller.
by browniebuck on Jan 20, 2009 1:16 PM EST reply actions
man ’o man….love them cognac enemas!! good for what ails, ya!!
by WarChiziken on Jan 20, 2009 1:31 PM EST reply actions
OH…and whore germs got me something too…but it wasn’t a pile of chips
by WarChiziken on Jan 20, 2009 1:34 PM EST reply actions
WC-
All this ho talk reminds me of an old Benny Hill routine…
Game Show Host: “Mr Scuttle, which therapy is more expensive? Hormones or genes?”
Mr Scuttle: “A good hormone is far more expensive than a pair of jeans.”
by yoyofutbawl on Jan 20, 2009 2:44 PM EST reply actions
Orson,
It’s good to know you’ve resurrected the old “Tressel’s World” blog style for us. The blog hasn’t had any hoovercraft-induced fun for a long time.
by Sean F on Jan 20, 2009 2:47 PM EST reply actions
When does Tressel start using the “2 Floozy System”? They will never expect that…….
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jan 20, 2009 3:23 PM EST reply actions
C’mon, we all know Tressel doesn’t wear panties. Jim Jr. has a sweater vest wrapped around it as well.
by www.southbendblarney.com on Jan 20, 2009 9:38 PM EST reply actions
HILARIOUS Orson and Freek. Absolutely awesome.
by Kfizzle on Jan 20, 2009 10:06 PM EST reply actions
@ Sean
You said it man. That thing was GOLD. Someone needs to pick up the challenge and get Jimmy T back to his whore-tupping, hovercraft-straddlin’ ways
by HymanMotherfuckingRoth on Jan 21, 2009 1:45 PM EST reply actions
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